We had quite a nasty row a moment ago. It got heated and we were beginning to say things we would be sorry for later so I took a time out and went to our patio to breath for moment. husband left the house during that. I'm not sure if he has just taken a walk to think or if he went to his parents for the night. I kind of hope he isn't coming back soon because I'm trying to organize my thoughts. So, I'm sorry about rambling. difficult child has had school stress and tougher time with sport lately. Today he had an especially bad day. Well, you know sports one day you are a hero, other day one "Oops!" and you are the laughing stock in front page of every sport media. Today difficult child got closer that other extreme today. He will survive, but with sports feelings run high and he was really, really, really upset with himself. When I talked with him, you could hear that he was in tears. I told him all the mommyisms; "it's not an end of the world", "it's only sport", "one day you too will laugh at it", "things like that happen, you are not the first nor the last", "sun will rise also tomorrow" etc. you know the drill, I'm sure. What husband did, really caught me off-guard. He totally laid it on difficult child. How he should do better, not make that kind of rookie mistakes, how he always screws up, how much money we have spent to his sport etc. He was starting to go on to other matters when I literally ripped the phone away from him. I talked quickly again with difficult child and he was upset over what husband said. "Dad always thinks I'm a screw up, he is never on my side" etc. This time I give it to him, he has reason to be upset. If difficult child needs to be chastised because of making a mistake in game, his coaches will do it. Parent job is to support, especially on the tough times. I really don't know what an earth husband was thinking. Okay, he is emotionally more invested in sons' sport success than I, but mainly with easy child. He has even been easy child's assistant coach when he was younger, not so much involved with difficult child. But even then, he does know better. You just don't kick your kid when they are not only on the ground but in the hole under the ground. And this is not totally new. husband has been increasingly critical with difficult child few months now. He was very upset and angry with difficult child when he got caught from gambling and stealing, but later he seemed to forgive him and things were back to normal last spring. But during the summer and early fall husband has become very nitpicky, short and judgemental with difficult child. difficult child hasn't been especially difficult during that time. In fact he had a great summer. He has been somewhat PITA lately, there has been some things we are not happy with (but they are mostly typical young adult stuff, nothing major), but still husband's frustration and anger feels totally unfounded. And it started when difficult child was still doing great. I have even been thinking, if husband's shortness has something to do with guilt. difficult child got diagnosed with PTSD early summer and there is lots to be guilty for both me and husband, husband maybe more so. I have wondered if he has trouble handling the guilt and he just wants to see difficult child so faulty kid that there would be nothing to feel guilty about, because it was all difficult child's fault anyway. My armchair psychology can of course be totally cockeyed, but I really don't get what else could be wrong with him. I mean, this is not like him at all. He is being totally unfair and even mean to our own son of all the people and that is simply not a guy I married. Not at all. I really don't know what to say to my husband when he comes back, nor do I know what I really should say to difficult child about it. Luckily he is not spending a night alone but has his girlfriend with him. And luckily easy child is not home but will not come home until Sunday night.