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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 687730" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I see it differently, Jabber. He wants autonomy and he wants authority over his choices, himself, his life. </p><p></p><p>He does not want to be accountable to you or Lil, he wants to be accountable to himself and for himself. In the moment that you challenge him about the pills/spray he has to choose between accountability to himself or to you. He chooses himself, to preserve his sense of autonomy.</p><p></p><p>That would be developmentally correct because first he has to be a separate adult, to be able to be a morally correct adult. He chooses separate rather than moral *lying, at that moment. By asking him you have forced him to choose.</p><p></p><p>His being in your house has eased things up for him in some ways but make it harder in others. I know because we have my son here way more.</p><p>Do you see the gain? By lying to you, he checks you. And maintains himself as in control of the situation. I am not saying it is right. I am just suggesting that it might be functional.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 687730, member: 18958"] I see it differently, Jabber. He wants autonomy and he wants authority over his choices, himself, his life. He does not want to be accountable to you or Lil, he wants to be accountable to himself and for himself. In the moment that you challenge him about the pills/spray he has to choose between accountability to himself or to you. He chooses himself, to preserve his sense of autonomy. That would be developmentally correct because first he has to be a separate adult, to be able to be a morally correct adult. He chooses separate rather than moral *lying, at that moment. By asking him you have forced him to choose. His being in your house has eased things up for him in some ways but make it harder in others. I know because we have my son here way more. Do you see the gain? By lying to you, he checks you. And maintains himself as in control of the situation. I am not saying it is right. I am just suggesting that it might be functional. [/QUOTE]
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