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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 687797" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Lil and Jabber, just getting back to the forum here and catching up with your thread. I used to drive myself nuts asking "Why?" Why does he lie, steal, do drugs, not work, on and on? I thought if I could understand why, I could somehow cut through the murky mire and reach him and shake him hard enough to shake some sense into him...or something. It was about me trying to fix it, me trying to understand it.</p><p></p><p>It doesn't matter why. What matters is behavior. We can't peel back the layers right now to get at the root cause of things. </p><p></p><p>He is going to do what he does...what works for him...until it doesn't work for him anymore. </p><p></p><p>That is where we come in. Can you go back to what you originally told him and stick to that? No matter what. </p><p></p><p>That is how he will learn. That is what he can count on. You told him already what the rules are. Once that day comes, the consequences come, whatever they are. He has had ample time. This is where it gets really, really hard for you. Not so much him. It's really hardest for you.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. Try to keep it simple. It's so hard.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 687797, member: 17542"] Lil and Jabber, just getting back to the forum here and catching up with your thread. I used to drive myself nuts asking "Why?" Why does he lie, steal, do drugs, not work, on and on? I thought if I could understand why, I could somehow cut through the murky mire and reach him and shake him hard enough to shake some sense into him...or something. It was about me trying to fix it, me trying to understand it. It doesn't matter why. What matters is behavior. We can't peel back the layers right now to get at the root cause of things. He is going to do what he does...what works for him...until it doesn't work for him anymore. That is where we come in. Can you go back to what you originally told him and stick to that? No matter what. That is how he will learn. That is what he can count on. You told him already what the rules are. Once that day comes, the consequences come, whatever they are. He has had ample time. This is where it gets really, really hard for you. Not so much him. It's really hardest for you. Hang in there. Try to keep it simple. It's so hard. [/QUOTE]
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