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<blockquote data-quote="TheWalrus" data-source="post: 688593" data-attributes="member: 19905"><p>That is a tough call. I hate being put in those kinds of positions. My stance is always to stay out of whatever I possibly can, because she is an adult and should handle her own affairs. And it does not help her, in fact probably does the opposite, when I rush in and try to fix or figure something out. But on the flip side, if he isn't ready to go and won't be truthful to you about the apartment because he wants to stay, it could end up gone and then that's that.</p><p></p><p>I guess if it were me, I would start with him because I always TRY (now) to start with my daughter and give her the opportunity to do the right thing, be a grownup, etc. "Have you contacted your landlord to see about the apartment?" If he says no or blows it off, I would let him know he needed to do that because if not, you will contact him yourself at such and such time/day. If he says yes but you don't believe what he tells you, I would let him know you plan to follow up yourself.</p><p></p><p>Yes, if he is like my daughter, this will be a blow up. "You just can't WAIT to get me out of here!" (I can picture her now.) This is the point where it takes every ounce of reserve in me to remain calm and not play into her emotional guilt (which is what it is), plainly state that is not the case but that I was just wanting some confirmation per our agreement, a reminder of the agreement and then (because she is my child and no amount of reasoning ever cuts through her wall of irrational thought) I would have to literally leave her presence until her tantrum was over. </p><p></p><p>Then I would move ahead because you did make an agreement and it will probably be up to you to make sure that it is respected. JMO</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheWalrus, post: 688593, member: 19905"] That is a tough call. I hate being put in those kinds of positions. My stance is always to stay out of whatever I possibly can, because she is an adult and should handle her own affairs. And it does not help her, in fact probably does the opposite, when I rush in and try to fix or figure something out. But on the flip side, if he isn't ready to go and won't be truthful to you about the apartment because he wants to stay, it could end up gone and then that's that. I guess if it were me, I would start with him because I always TRY (now) to start with my daughter and give her the opportunity to do the right thing, be a grownup, etc. "Have you contacted your landlord to see about the apartment?" If he says no or blows it off, I would let him know he needed to do that because if not, you will contact him yourself at such and such time/day. If he says yes but you don't believe what he tells you, I would let him know you plan to follow up yourself. Yes, if he is like my daughter, this will be a blow up. "You just can't WAIT to get me out of here!" (I can picture her now.) This is the point where it takes every ounce of reserve in me to remain calm and not play into her emotional guilt (which is what it is), plainly state that is not the case but that I was just wanting some confirmation per our agreement, a reminder of the agreement and then (because she is my child and no amount of reasoning ever cuts through her wall of irrational thought) I would have to literally leave her presence until her tantrum was over. Then I would move ahead because you did make an agreement and it will probably be up to you to make sure that it is respected. JMO [/QUOTE]
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