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I hate Borderline (BPD)
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<blockquote data-quote="bramblewoodbabydoll" data-source="post: 308518" data-attributes="member: 7938"><p>Oh Heather, please hear me when I say that I feel you 100%. I am always wrong too and its never enough. Last night I told my fiance that I just wanted Sprite to go live some place else- any place else. I didnt care anymore. Since therapy we have started going all out of our way to 'baby' her since she is so devolved that at any given time in our house her temperment is the deciding factor for everyone elses good or bad time. </p><p>I felt sorry for her because I experienced much of what she is going through when I was 13+ years old. I remember the constant pain and anguish over all I wanted that could not immediately be. I remember the constant troubleing guilt over ruining everyone elses life but the uncontrollable urge to set everyone off anyway. </p><p>However, it simply isnt fair that when she has an advocate such as myself who is desparately trying to mend her hole and sew her heart back together pricking my fingers the whole time on the thorns that seem to grow right out of her flesh and she still has the nerve to complain to me of all people, to tell me that I dont help her at all and I dont care!!!!!!!</p><p>How dare she! I have loved her no matter what and all I get are the same 2 looks... the depressed 'drop' face (thats what my son calls it) or the angry furrowed eyes shooting an icey glare strait through tho my soul....</p><p>And then whe she finally triggers me and Im on the verge of a mixed state myself and have to go outside she skips out there and says... 'I think I should tell you Im sorry'</p><p>I use to be happy when she at least apologized but her game is so transparent now that it angers me more...</p><p>Sigh, my heart goes out to yours.</p><p>It hurts everytime and everytime it does not hurt it enrages me. What drives such cruelty? It can only be misery. Im sure I sound like Im babbling now but we had such a rough night last night.</p><p>Your not alone, quite obviously, it seems that at least here on this forum we are all in good company <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p>-Brambles</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="bramblewoodbabydoll, post: 308518, member: 7938"] Oh Heather, please hear me when I say that I feel you 100%. I am always wrong too and its never enough. Last night I told my fiance that I just wanted Sprite to go live some place else- any place else. I didnt care anymore. Since therapy we have started going all out of our way to 'baby' her since she is so devolved that at any given time in our house her temperment is the deciding factor for everyone elses good or bad time. I felt sorry for her because I experienced much of what she is going through when I was 13+ years old. I remember the constant pain and anguish over all I wanted that could not immediately be. I remember the constant troubleing guilt over ruining everyone elses life but the uncontrollable urge to set everyone off anyway. However, it simply isnt fair that when she has an advocate such as myself who is desparately trying to mend her hole and sew her heart back together pricking my fingers the whole time on the thorns that seem to grow right out of her flesh and she still has the nerve to complain to me of all people, to tell me that I dont help her at all and I dont care!!!!!!! How dare she! I have loved her no matter what and all I get are the same 2 looks... the depressed 'drop' face (thats what my son calls it) or the angry furrowed eyes shooting an icey glare strait through tho my soul.... And then whe she finally triggers me and Im on the verge of a mixed state myself and have to go outside she skips out there and says... 'I think I should tell you Im sorry' I use to be happy when she at least apologized but her game is so transparent now that it angers me more... Sigh, my heart goes out to yours. It hurts everytime and everytime it does not hurt it enrages me. What drives such cruelty? It can only be misery. Im sure I sound like Im babbling now but we had such a rough night last night. Your not alone, quite obviously, it seems that at least here on this forum we are all in good company :) -Brambles [/QUOTE]
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