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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 631536" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Lil...he is not a little boy anymore. I'd hang up on my son if he started with "poor me" as well as if he was abusive. I don't want to give into his rants about his lousy life, which is his own doing. I won't listen.</p><p></p><p>Don't be so sure he's not on drugs. There are drugs that don't show up on drug tests.</p><p></p><p>Lil, one way or another he has to grow up and you need to separate from him. If not, both of you will be caught in a neverending fatal embrace. Do you want this going on when he is 40? 50? Some parents refuse to let go and they never do. Some have no lives at all until the end of theirs because they are 80 and their 60 year old "poor son" lives with them and they feel badly for him.</p><p></p><p>At this point, it is your decision how you want to react to your son's childish behavior. I'm sure he knows that talking about how he has no friends etc. makes you feel sorry for him and it may not be true. He's a little bit old to cry and bumble about his life that HE made rotten and that is not something I personally would listen to considering he won't get any help. Enough is enough. He needs to grow up and he can, but you have to let him by letting go.</p><p></p><p>I wish you luck. This is going to be an especially hard trip for you, if you decide to take it. Letting go is hard, but doable. But one has to want to do it and get sane <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> just like our grown kids need to DESIRE TO get clean before they do. It is a choice we all make or don't make. If you want to do it, we are here, 24/7, 365 days a year. We are always on call.</p><p></p><p>P.S.--Maybe his friends are doing what you can't...staying away from him due to his behavior. Or maybe they work, go to school, have social lives and are busy and will answer him when they have time. Few 18-21 year old young adults are free all the time to answer texts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 631536, member: 1550"] Lil...he is not a little boy anymore. I'd hang up on my son if he started with "poor me" as well as if he was abusive. I don't want to give into his rants about his lousy life, which is his own doing. I won't listen. Don't be so sure he's not on drugs. There are drugs that don't show up on drug tests. Lil, one way or another he has to grow up and you need to separate from him. If not, both of you will be caught in a neverending fatal embrace. Do you want this going on when he is 40? 50? Some parents refuse to let go and they never do. Some have no lives at all until the end of theirs because they are 80 and their 60 year old "poor son" lives with them and they feel badly for him. At this point, it is your decision how you want to react to your son's childish behavior. I'm sure he knows that talking about how he has no friends etc. makes you feel sorry for him and it may not be true. He's a little bit old to cry and bumble about his life that HE made rotten and that is not something I personally would listen to considering he won't get any help. Enough is enough. He needs to grow up and he can, but you have to let him by letting go. I wish you luck. This is going to be an especially hard trip for you, if you decide to take it. Letting go is hard, but doable. But one has to want to do it and get sane :) just like our grown kids need to DESIRE TO get clean before they do. It is a choice we all make or don't make. If you want to do it, we are here, 24/7, 365 days a year. We are always on call. P.S.--Maybe his friends are doing what you can't...staying away from him due to his behavior. Or maybe they work, go to school, have social lives and are busy and will answer him when they have time. Few 18-21 year old young adults are free all the time to answer texts. [/QUOTE]
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