Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
I HATE MONEY
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 631548" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Lil, my very tired and weary-minded friend, you can't help him. He needs professional help. Trust me, I know how much you love him and that you'd do anything to help him, but this is out of our arenas. If your son has a mental illness, on top of drug abuse, then he is the one who has to go for help for both issues and work very hard to improve both. Easy? Id oubt it. I just had a horrible mood disorder, probably since I was first born. I think I was born depressed. Very depressed. I did not have classic manic/depression. Although I had a few highs, they were not psychotic highs. I was more depressed or in a mixed state...happy and sad at the same time...now THAT is a terrible feeling. I had depersonalization and derealization...the feeling of being in a dream. Scariest symptom evah!!!!</p><p></p><p>Lil, I decided very early never to drink or do drugs because I was already so screwed up I didn't want to make it worse. I have never been drunk and tried pot about six times and it made me paranoid and scared. That was the end of my drug experimentation. I went for help young, took my medication as prescribed, was in the hospital for TEN WEEKS while pregnant (I often wonder if that did not affect my son I call 36) and had post partum. It took me ten years to find the medications that helped me the most, but I went to self-help groups, read any new books on how to overcome depression, and never quit trying, but it was tiring and so hard and sometimes I did feel like giving up. But nobody could have helped me. My parents were absent, which was just as good. There was nothing they could have done. In fact hearing "You can do it!" or "Get off the pity pot!" just made me want to jump off a cliff because my depressions were biological and I would have done cartwheels for three days if that would have cured me. I had to take my own walk. Antidepressants kept me going, although maybe 50%. During that time I worked on and off. I have serious learning disabilities and got fired a lot for making too many mistakes, but I never stopped trying to get another job.</p><p></p><p>Finally I found a magic pill that took away my depression!! Then I was able to utilize therapy to the fullest and have ever since. During all this time, my husband and family were not there for me. Professionals and my self-healp groups got me through it and my stubborn personality which refused to give up on me. This is what your son has to develop. He has to stop any drugs he is taking AND drinking first and then you will see if he is mentally ill. It often looks li ke there is mental illness on top of drug abuse and there often is, but not always. My daughter who took drugs is fine now that she quit the drugs.</p><p></p><p>This is a terribly hard walk but only your son can take it. I don't think it would have helped me if I had called my mom and she would have listeneed to me crying about how I screwed up while I was still screwing up. What helps is action to change your life and it can be a long, hard ride. My therapists were more apt to tell me coping skills and that feeling sorry for myself would not help me. I took that to heart.</p><p></p><p>Here's hoping that your son will decide to take that path to wellness. Understand, though, as hard as it is to do, that you can't do it for him. He has to make his own appointments. If he is prescribed medication, he has to take it as prescribed. He can not drink or do any drugs because doing that negates the good that the prescription drugs are trying to do and they will not help him. If he is unwilling to take this hard walk, you can either be that mom who has her son crying to her when he is 60 years old and you are 80 or you can decide to move on with your own life and enjoy your loved ones who are healthy and do the things you love to do. You don't desert your son in your heart, but you realize that it is his journey to take, and that until he decides to work very hard to get well, he won't. Don't let him take you down with him. You are two separate people and you do not have to be miserable just because he is choosing not to help himself and to feel sorry for himself. He needs a psychiatrist, a therapist and a drug counselor and he needs to listen to all of them.</p><p></p><p>Dear Lil, I wish you a serene and peaceful day. Do something possitively sinful today, like eat a double fudge sundae with whip cream and cherries on top <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Think about yourself and how precious you are and how much you matter. Your life is as important as your son's. He is not more important than you are. (((Hugs))).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 631548, member: 1550"] Lil, my very tired and weary-minded friend, you can't help him. He needs professional help. Trust me, I know how much you love him and that you'd do anything to help him, but this is out of our arenas. If your son has a mental illness, on top of drug abuse, then he is the one who has to go for help for both issues and work very hard to improve both. Easy? Id oubt it. I just had a horrible mood disorder, probably since I was first born. I think I was born depressed. Very depressed. I did not have classic manic/depression. Although I had a few highs, they were not psychotic highs. I was more depressed or in a mixed state...happy and sad at the same time...now THAT is a terrible feeling. I had depersonalization and derealization...the feeling of being in a dream. Scariest symptom evah!!!! Lil, I decided very early never to drink or do drugs because I was already so screwed up I didn't want to make it worse. I have never been drunk and tried pot about six times and it made me paranoid and scared. That was the end of my drug experimentation. I went for help young, took my medication as prescribed, was in the hospital for TEN WEEKS while pregnant (I often wonder if that did not affect my son I call 36) and had post partum. It took me ten years to find the medications that helped me the most, but I went to self-help groups, read any new books on how to overcome depression, and never quit trying, but it was tiring and so hard and sometimes I did feel like giving up. But nobody could have helped me. My parents were absent, which was just as good. There was nothing they could have done. In fact hearing "You can do it!" or "Get off the pity pot!" just made me want to jump off a cliff because my depressions were biological and I would have done cartwheels for three days if that would have cured me. I had to take my own walk. Antidepressants kept me going, although maybe 50%. During that time I worked on and off. I have serious learning disabilities and got fired a lot for making too many mistakes, but I never stopped trying to get another job. Finally I found a magic pill that took away my depression!! Then I was able to utilize therapy to the fullest and have ever since. During all this time, my husband and family were not there for me. Professionals and my self-healp groups got me through it and my stubborn personality which refused to give up on me. This is what your son has to develop. He has to stop any drugs he is taking AND drinking first and then you will see if he is mentally ill. It often looks li ke there is mental illness on top of drug abuse and there often is, but not always. My daughter who took drugs is fine now that she quit the drugs. This is a terribly hard walk but only your son can take it. I don't think it would have helped me if I had called my mom and she would have listeneed to me crying about how I screwed up while I was still screwing up. What helps is action to change your life and it can be a long, hard ride. My therapists were more apt to tell me coping skills and that feeling sorry for myself would not help me. I took that to heart. Here's hoping that your son will decide to take that path to wellness. Understand, though, as hard as it is to do, that you can't do it for him. He has to make his own appointments. If he is prescribed medication, he has to take it as prescribed. He can not drink or do any drugs because doing that negates the good that the prescription drugs are trying to do and they will not help him. If he is unwilling to take this hard walk, you can either be that mom who has her son crying to her when he is 60 years old and you are 80 or you can decide to move on with your own life and enjoy your loved ones who are healthy and do the things you love to do. You don't desert your son in your heart, but you realize that it is his journey to take, and that until he decides to work very hard to get well, he won't. Don't let him take you down with him. You are two separate people and you do not have to be miserable just because he is choosing not to help himself and to feel sorry for himself. He needs a psychiatrist, a therapist and a drug counselor and he needs to listen to all of them. Dear Lil, I wish you a serene and peaceful day. Do something possitively sinful today, like eat a double fudge sundae with whip cream and cherries on top :) Think about yourself and how precious you are and how much you matter. Your life is as important as your son's. He is not more important than you are. (((Hugs))). [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
I HATE MONEY
Top