I hate people on power trips

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by AllStressedOut, Sep 8, 2007.

  1. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    For the past 2 yrs I was PTA Pres. at my sons old Elem. School. As most of you know, we transferred because of the new principal. Well, the girl that took over as PTA Pres. has never volunteered before. Since taking over she has asked me questions via email and so on, I've tried to help, even though my kids don't go there anymore. Since summer I have been asking her to meet me and the old VP (who also transferred) at Sams Club so we can change the PTA account over. She emailed me earlier this week and here are the emails:

    HER:Hi there Do we have to vote on when our general pta meetings are? Also, have you had a chance to meet with (name here) (I think that is her name?) to find out when we can do the sam’s card? Thanks for your help

    ME:You have to vote in a board meeting about your entire calendar. Board meetings, general meetings, book fairs, fundraisers etc.
    I did ask her again, but the night she thought she was free was camp meeting night for our 5th graders. I'll ask again, thanks for the reminder.

    HER:Thanks for the help! Just let me know – I appreciate it

    ME:She said Saturday afternoon around 2ish.

    HER:That works for me let me make sure (other name here) can be there as well. Thanks

    Okay, so this was the last communication between the two of us before today. Then at 2, I start receiving calls from her and from the lady who she had with her. I was about 1 hour away from the town we live in. I called her back and the other lady answered her phone. This lady is POed at me because I'm not there, she is on her lunch break. I hear the PTA Pres. in the background saying "She sent me an email and said 2." Well, I knew I wasn't specific because my old VP wasn't specific with me, so I couldn't be. So when I got home, I forwarded all 3 women the emails above and wrote this and got these replies:

    ME:The last communication between PTA Pres. and I is shown below. Nothing had been set in stone and this is why neither of us were there. Thanks (name here) for meeting them so quickly, I really appreciate it.

    HER:Ok so it says 2ish, that still does not explain why you did not even bother to contact me to inform me that you were not going to show, that was very inconsiderate on your part. Yes I appreciate (name here) for showing up and taking care of this, but not showing up is what I had a problem with.

    ME:I said "around 2ish" and you said "let me make sure (other name here) can be there as well". This does not set a specific time to meet and you never got back with me to let me know (other name here) could make it.
    I would appreciate it if you would refrain from speaking to me in the manner below. I did not show because you did not follow up with me. If I had been here and could have come at the last minute, I would have, but I wasn't. This doesn't make me inconsiderate.

    This woman has kind of been on a power trip since she started. There is another long time volunteer who doesn't even have kids at the school anymore and she has nudged this woman out of her position responsibilities on the PTA. This woman was really upset too. What I find so rediculous is that being a PTA President doesn't make you this "all powerful being"....it just means you were likely the only person who volunteered for the job. Prior to this problem, there was a form she was to fill out and mail in. I emailed her twice in a two month period and attached the form and let her know the deadline for it to be received. No one at the old school would give me the info needed to fill the form out, so I couldn't do it for her. Later, when they emailed saying they hadn't received it, she blamed me. WTH!

    I'm sure this woman is going to have more questions as the year progresses, but after today's BS I don't want to deal with her. Then I think, thats wrong of me to not reply to her and help her, but why should I work with someone who is so nasty and so underhanded?
     
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    My advice, she wanted the job she can do the job all by herself. I'm sure there are others she can ask to get advice and get answers to her questions.

    She could at the very least appreciate, or pretend to, what you're doing for her. I mean please, it's no skin off your nose if you don't help her out. sheesh!
     
  3. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    husband said that the 2ish part isn't important. That she said she needed to check with her VP to see if she could make it and then never got back with me. I just keep re-reading it over and over again :geek:(you all know how obsessive I can be) and I don't see that I did anything wrong here.

    What I REALLY wanted to say when she emailed me saying I was inconsiderate was something along the lines of "Grow up and take responsibility for your own mistakes lady. This ones on you." Then I thought, maybe I should just say "Save the drama for your mama." :rolleyes:since she was so rediculous in how she worded her email. Then I decided I'd word it as plainly as possible, but be sure to let her know she shouldn't speak to me that way. :nonono:

    I really should just crawl back in my hole....some people just really drive me batty. :hammer:
     
  4. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    How about this: :wink:


    Dear XXX,
    I'm sure you are aware of how hectic our lives become once school starts and this year is doubly so as difficult child has transferred out from XYZ School to ABC school. As such, I'm afraid I must focus my attention on our new school community and I will no longer be able to assist you with your PTA president duties at XYZ school. I found the following people to be highly dependable and willing to help during my tenure, perhaps they can be of assistance if further issues arise:
    {{{List long time volunteer}}}
    List another person
    List one more person
    And maybe even another person
    Sincerely,
    All Stressed Out
     
  5. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    I'll be saving the above if she replies and using it. I was actually thinking of replying to her next one with "Boy, you and Evil Principal sure are two peas in a pod, aren't ya?" :rolleyes:
     
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    ASO,

    I think what Tired Mommy wrote was brilliant! :bow:

    Since I am senipippious I offer the alternative letter:

    Dear XXX

    Just who in the blank do you think you are? I would guess by the tone of your email and your blatent lack of ability to finalize even the minutest of meetings with a followup call your days as PTA Over Lord are about at their wretched end before you begin.

    Wasn't it ME? FORMER PTA president emeritus who had to beg you to fill out the application? Hasn't it been ME all along who's more than ingenious brain you pick constantly via email? I know puppies who have let go of the proverbial {blank] easier.

    THe aire of arrogance with which you command your life doesn't mean that you get to even breath in my direction, I'm older I'm fed up with wet nursing babies like you and if you can't handle even being a PTA president, I'm worried for the future of your children and will be watching your parenting skills and reporting to the necessary authorities. :nonono:

    Simply put get off my back, and for the sake of future children like you stay off your back. :smile:

    Necessarily put -
    ASO

    ps I will be sending copies of my decision to stop cradling you in the arms of comfort and wisdom to all involved. The next time you need someone to massage your ego over try the kindergarten class. :hypnosis: They would get you.

    :teacher:
     
  7. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    :rofl:LMAO @ "for the sake of future children like you stay off your back" and "Kindergarten class...would get you."


    I just love you! :flower:....if you were a man, I'd propose. :smile:
     
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I'm flattered at your proposal - luckily for my DF I'm all woman.

    Glad to hear you laugh. She's not worth it. One word....LETITGOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
     
  9. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    Honestly after what happened I wouldn't answer any more questions for her since she knows everything.

    I would send one final email and give her a time and date to meet you at the bank. Tell her it is the only time you will meet her. End of story. She can rearrange her own schedule to fit yours. :smile:

    Steph
     
  10. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    senipippious?

    I wouldn't answer any more questions. You don't need that kind of aggravation.

    Beth
     
  11. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'm with TM. Ms. newbie is such a good organizer, you don't need to help her anymore...

    :coffee:
     
  12. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful



    Aw, c'mon Star. I want ASO to send your email. Then I'd love to be a fly on the wall when she read it.

    :rofl: :rofl: :smile: :rofl: :rofl:

    Priceless.

    ASO, I know what it's like to let these things eat at you. (I used to be obsessive myself) Age has taught me a most valuable lesson: Life's just too short to give a crap about such nonsense. Let it go and try hard not to obsess over this idiocy.

    Hugs
     
  13. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I have a good friend in this situation. Our local school P & C (Aussie version of PTA) has been perpetrating the attitude around the village that to send your child elsewhere, or to home-schools, is disloyal. I know of one home-schooling family that has actually chosen to move hundreds of miles away rather than put up with persecution by P & C zealots.
    My friend was Secretary. She did a darn good job, but power-trippers were the bane of her existence. My friend put a lot of good things in place but the power-trippers would step in and take over, then drop the bundle leaving her with the ultimate responsibility. Fortunately she keeps good records and was able to clarify responsibility with email records.

    She moved her child to a different school this year and at first was attacked as a traitor. She had prepared a valid reason ahead of time (shouldn't have to!) to do with her new job and the difficulty of being home for the child when both parents work too far away. The new school makes collection by grandma much more possible.

    The new P & C staff are all the previous power-trippers who began by asking her for help with this and advice with that. She however had prepared a thorough handover in the form of detailed records and notes. When asked for help she referred them to her notes and asked to not be bothered again - she now has different priorities and no time to split her responsibilities even further.

    Sometimes the sweetest victory of all is watching the power trippers fall flat on their faces, without any help from you.

    because if you choose to help them or offer any advice, they will find a way to turn it back on you if things go wrong, as with you not being at the bank. That was HER fault, yet she managed to make you look bad. If you hadn't been trying to help her out, she wouldn't have been able to do that to you.

    Let her do it all for herself from here. You have other needs, other priorities. She's already got far more out of you than she would have out of me. With any organisation I'm happy to provide corporate memory stuff, but constant advice on basic matters is where I draw the line.

    Marg
     
  14. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    If this sort of thing sets her off, she's never going to make it through her term.
    Sigh.
     
  15. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    In most states you can go and take your name off even if the person who is going to be taking the account over isn't there. It does make it a bit more difficult for the new person toget her name on the account, but that is NOT your problem :thumbsup:

    Just go and get your name off, then let her do the rigamaroll to get her name on.

    Then ignore her after you send one of the letters suggested above.

    I knowe how stressful PTA can be - they threatened to sue us when we pulled out of one!! HAHAHAHA there was NOTHING to sue us over, we just didn't do what the principal wanted.

    Hugs!!

    Susie
     
  16. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    Terry-my thoughts EXACTLY!

    On top of that, I thought, if this is how she replies to people IN WRITING, she is gonna get herself in deep doo doo. You don't want your PTA President representing your school this way.

    The account info with Sams Club was changed over that day with my old VP. So its all handled. The only reason she has to email me now is with more questions. I think I put a damper on that when I didn't let her make me out to be the bad guy. I've never been one to back down, hopefully she's figured this out now.
     
  17. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I tole you (Godfather voice)....

    Send the letter....
     
  18. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    LMAO....does anyone have a horse head I can borrow?
     
  19. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    All you need is a fish wrapped in newspapers....
     
  20. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    ehhhh so maybe princess is-a gonna getta some rolled up fish? Maybe? Maybe she keep open dat pie hole and she learna to swim wit da fishes?

    - Guido

    Raouls 1/2 brother by birth :grrr:
     
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