those emergency forms? Years ago I began to write in my pager # and then later my cell phone, never clarifying it was still ME. It has made me nervous a few times, but, what else can ya do? I had been entirely disowned by MY family, and husband had no family, and friends? FIrst I was simply working so many hours and later, I was too sick and now people are too judgemental of our situation. It finally occured to me when I die, my kids will not need to have much of a funeral becuz there will only be them in attendance.
AFter I last posted here, I was thinking- the world is so different from when I was growing up. Society is different, our culture has been changeing, so much is so vastly different. I have a bro 3 years younger than me, a sis and bro 15 years younger and another bro almost 28 years younger. I cannot telll you just how vastly different just about everything is from me being a child to my youngest bro being one. I mean I knew it was different, but haveing sibs spred out that way really shows it to me very very clearly. (and it was also a problem between me and my mom becuz of hos differently she had to parent each of us becuz of how things had changed)
The world is so FULL of difficult children. Yesterday I was shopping, and I went in 3 places. Employees greeted me each place, BUT when I said how are ya? they ALL replied in a negative way....one said "I'vebeen better" another grunted at me...another said UG, I cannot wait for today to be over.
<sigh>
Were they all "young punks"? NOpe.
If you watch news, well, the police in chicago and suburbs have been in news a LOT for all kinds of offenses. There are some serious difficult children in the police. I have been attending court for my moms estate and for a crime against my easy child and a crime where difficult child was a witness and a few other various reasons (vandals hit our cars etc) the last several years, and I am here to tell ya? The lawyers, the detectives, the states attorneys...and even judges - so many difficult children!!!!! For my moms estate? it has been dragging out and well, every penny she had----includeing her business that had ben successful- has gone to pay legal fees related to her probate. I do not mean a small amount like oh say $100K-I mean her 3 mother in law business is gone, her 1/4 mother in law house......EVERYTHING. partly her lawyer keeps filing wrong paperwork or doing it wrong- partly the judge keeps sitting theer and saying "ya know, I did not read anything about this estate yet-- (Um it has been inprobate 2 years!) sadly the judge is the head of our civil court.
Yesterday difficult child and I went to our local neighborhood with cops thing- and difficult child said when we left, wow mom, those cops egos are SCARY- do they relaly lie as much as they just said they do? (sadly dear, they lie even more) They actually stood there and LOL and admitted they do not care about anythning when trying to make an arrest, and they do not even care if they handle the arrest properly, not their problem. <sigh>
Being a nurse, I have seen and heard docs behind the scenes.and other nurses. It is scary.
Youngest son had teachers far more difficult child than any of my kids, who had NO accountability, no sense of politeness, were NOT responsible people----and I have seen personally, more than a simple amount of teachers standing in front of classrooms talking on cells to their friends, checking personal email, swearing at students, calling students names, ridiculeing students- things that do not make the headlines.
I no longer think my difficult child is in any minority.
My kids have been with mentors thru WRAP and our county who became victims of domestic violence WHILE they had my kids with them. My kids have had respite providers who were active addicts-- and got caught altho when "I" complained, I was brushed off. I had county CPS workers TRY to force me to accept respite from a person I myself turned in to CPS for domestic violence that I myself witnessed.
difficult children abound. It is a different world out there than the one I grew up in.
The biggest lesson I now try to teach my kids is hey, be kind, be quiet out there in the world, ya never know who might decide to shoot you rather thna deal with you I think maybe now my kids save their sticking out their tongue for here at home, but rather than get mad, I stick mine back out at them.
Sometimes I think my kids bring home the crummy behaviors so they don't exhibit them out in the world. I can say I am lucky and blessed, tho, becuz my oldest is now at the calmest most level headed than she ever has been.....and when I began to simply LOL or walk away from my husband when he is haveig an outburst-- they reduced. The are much shoorter, shorter lived, less ugly.
and if I get frustrated with the constant low hum of a busy home, I call a time out for me-and I have been known to check out of the house for 18 hours, and go sleep in a hotel. Where do I get the money? (becuz we live on soc sec disability and have for the last 20 yrs?) I warn them first, I am useing our grocery money------I need a little more quiet, and I WILL go sleep in a hotel. ANd yup- thats what I sometimes do. I am not on strike, it is not to try to change their behavior, it is simply providing ME with what I need at that moment.