I have been feeling feeling really bad lately

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Jen, Sep 17, 2007.

  1. Jen

    Jen New Member

    I dont know if it is someting going around, or I am just physically exhausted with everything. I have done nothing but sleep for the last 3days, around working hours. My body has ached bad, but yet I am so starving..no I am not pregnant! Really short fused.

    I have been torn as far as my extranged grandchildren are concerned. I think since the lawyer cant make any gaurentees that we wont go through this hastle on a yearly basis, that we just cut all ties. If I can find out her adress we will send a letter that says call us when you are ready, or by phone on voicemail if poss. She will have to live with the choice she has made for us and the grandchildren. It is too much to take.

    My house is a mess, no thanks to my other grandchild that is living here with his Dad. Dad works, but not a real ball of fire, why should I be? I feel bad for my husband cause he has been real supportive of me and my feelings, but we cannot continue this. My sister in law cannot live out on his own because finacnes even though my daughter is in the service is not the greatest. I dont have the energy to correct my grandson either.

    My son and his wife are trying to make it on their own. He is learnikng not to ask for financial help but isnt really maturing. He recently had our car foir a move and took it to a grocery store at 2 in the am and took pumpkins, as he laughed at the workers he would pass by that tried to stop him. They took the lisc.plates down, called my hubby, the police did, adn we directed that one to our son. His car is a few yrs old and causing problems, adn they dont have alot of money for big expenses on it. He got made at it and kicked out the tail light, what a jerk!

    I am so at the point in my life that I not only want what we gave to our parents, no hastles, no asking money, respect, no dramas that I wont settle for anything less.

  2. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    if you wont settle for anything less, then I would get busy getting people out on their own. they can get social services help if need be. you are worn out.
  3. KFld

    KFld New Member

    You sound like you have had it. Good for you. Don't settle for anything less. You need to get your life back and do for yourself and stop doing for everyone else.

    let them all know that you are done. They are all old enough to take care of themselves and they won't do that until you stop taking care of them.
  4. scent of cedar

    scent of cedar New Member

    Well, this might be an off the wall thing Jen ~ but have you had yourself checked for Lyme's? That turned out to be what was wrong with me ~ and now, I am going back to the doctor this morning because of a pneumonia I developed right along with it that I cannot seem to shake.

    (That is why I am posting so much these days, ladies. Too weak to do much of anything else!


    I love the site though. You all know that already.

    Extreme fatigue, headachey, maybe a little less quick on the draw mentally than usual were my symptoms.

  5. goldenguru

    goldenguru New Member


    If it's not possible for him to move out ... how about moving him to a particular area of your house? The basement perhaps? Where his kids can make all manner of mess and you don't have to look at it?

    How about helping them with rent? Even just a small help ... so that he is not underfoot all the time?

    Would they qualify for any public assistance such as subsidized housing? Isn't there any base housing that they would qualify for??

    Hope you are feeling better soon.
  6. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I was thinking it was depression, Jen. You certainly have every reason to feel depressed and your description of how you've been feeling nails the symptoms.

    I agree that it's time for you to have your life back. You need to get stronger so that you can formulate a plan to make it happen. When was the last time you saw a doctor for yourself personally (not in your occupation)?

  7. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Ditto what everyone else suggested. Get a full physical, get your blood work done, make space and time for youself and if need be, take a break from everyone and everything.

    Sending lots of support and hugs.
  8. Jen

    Jen New Member

    Thanks to all for your suggestions. I really felt some good energy today, but with a rest period in there. I was blessed with my sister in law and grandson , who went out of town yesterday afternoon to his Moms and hopefully doesnt return until tom. when he goes back to work.

    I have been thinking about sending them down to the basement that is partially finished. That was the original plans, but it was rather cold. Thought about getting them an additional elctric heat down there. Problem is , he works second shift, an short of someone sleeping downstairs on the couch til he gets home, to make sure Grandson is safe, you see what I mean. I am making out a to do list for my sister in law to do this week that will send all my Grandsons toys downstairs. Also make him clean 3 rooms upstairs that they mess up, the rest of the windows in the house, and the basement needs to be spotless. He has 4 hours to himself 3 days a week and hasnt managed to do much productiveness around here. I even have to help him figure out what bills need to be paid. Oh my grandson will be 21/2 and the daycare wants to potty train so that is another do on the list. He also needs to be placed in a big boys bed.

    As for myself , I have thought about seeing my family doctor again. My psychiatric doctor took another job, and really was a waste of my money. I already take Desyrel at night for rest and fibromylgia. Need something to pick me up I guess. Looking forward to going on vacation with friends and husband the first of Oct. , wish it was for a month..lol.

  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I'm glad today has been a better day for you.

    You definately sound worn out. Use that to your advantage and start making the change to help sister in law become independent and out on his own.

    You won't be a bad person if you do. I knew if I didn't do everything I could to basicly push stepgfg out of my house, she'd stay with us forever. Just too cushy. And believe me, I didn't feel guilty the day we helped her move into her HUD apartment. (she had baby Kayla and Alex was due any day)

    I'm worn out too. My kids are discovering that dear ol' Mom is tolerating far less than she ever has, which wasn't much to begin with. Nichole was informed today that the adoption of one more animal will cause her to loose her happy home. I'm also done with the drama.