I have got to get him to stop somehow..

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by GrandMom, Sep 24, 2015.

  1. GrandMom

    GrandMom New Member

    I am new also to this site. I have custody of my 2 grandsons ages 15 and 16, I am their Grandmother by r marriage to their maternal grandfather(my late husband ) I have been part of their lives sense birth and regained custody from their maternal grandmother 3 years ago when she became ill. and in 2010 my husand passed away of cancer he was about the only male figure they had. The 15yr old shows no signs of problems from things that they endured early on, He has choosen to not be a victim and not be like his parents.. His brother has been diagnosed with PTS, ADHD, ODD and a few more things, After this child moved in everything changed his actions with me that's ODD they tell me.
    He's been in 4 mental hospital. one 8 month stay at a behavioral treatment place. and still he does the same bully, abusing controlling actions but now at home behind closed doors. I don't know what else to do , If I say one thing to him he doesn't like, he goes off just about every night. He curses me, breaks things , knocks things off the counter just to see what I WILL DO. I have NEVER HAD ANYONE talk to me the way he does.
    Honestly I want to knock the crap out him, then he throws that out their that im a abuser and I don't love him and I just throw him in hospitals , when I tell the police he lies to them and I have no proof the one time he did hit me, his brother worries that he will hurt me and follow thru on his threats , he will lock my door when I go to bed. this is no way to live and I don't know how to handle him .. help please advise
  2. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Call the elder abuse hotline
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I'd look for a long term care center for the abusive boy. Nobody can handle that degree of abuse. He is too damaged by his first caregivers for you to fix him in your home. You may want to try looking into residential treatment centers.

    Call the police if he gets violent against you in any way. Although it sounds scary, the police can be the first step to finding another place for him to live. I don't know how old you are, but you deserve peace.
  4. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome, GM

    I am glad you have found us.

    Your situation sounds very scary.

    Many of us have been where you are now.

    You need to call the police each and every time you feel threatened.

    You deserve to live in peace and not live in fear. So does your other grandson. You can't let him be subjected to this anymore.

    Please stay with us.

    We need you to be safe.

  5. DoneDad

    DoneDad Active Member

    Please get help. Your situation sounds very dangerous. Get a Go-Pro camera and wear it and record his behaviors and show it to the police. Call domestic violence centers in your area. Nobody deserves to live in fear in their own home.
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry things are so rough. I agree it does not sound like a safe situation. What do his current doctors say? Is he on any medications? It definitely sounds like more than ODD. Sending some gentle hugs your way.
  7. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    I agree with everything everybody else said. Elder abuse. The Go-Pro Camera. His Physician. There could be an underlying neurological condition. Psychiatrist. Tell the psychiatrist everything.

    I too would call the police every time. I would have a plan in place to keep you and your other grandson safe.

    His rights are no greater than are yours or his brother's.

    What is happening in school? Does he have an IEP? Is he able to contain himself in school or is he out of control there, too? There is residential treatment available through an IEP. What are his teachers saying?

    Have you involved your County Mental Health Department? They will work with the schools, too. The more people in official capacities have a paper trail of his actions, the better for him and the better for you.

    When he breaks things and pushes things off counters, those are threats. Take them seriously. If you are afraid to call the police, call the police tomorrow and ask them to help you devise a plan, so that you are prepared when next the behavior occurs.

    Keep posting. I am so sorry this is happening. You do not deserve it.