I have no idea what to put here

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mstang67chic, Apr 15, 2008.

  1. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Before I start.........Steely, if you're reading this, I'm sorry but you may want to stop now. I don't know why difficult child is doing this and I don't want to upset you. With that said however.....


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    I just got a call from difficult child's adolescent case manager. (He has a new CM now that he's 18 but the previous one and I keep in touch as she is one of the people who is usually at the school with the kids) difficult child is going around school telling everyone that his sister died. (He has 3 of them actually and to my knowledge, everyone is fine. If this had happened, I would have been called.) I don't know how he's acting in regards to this statement but the CM told me that half the school knows and it has upset people. I don't know if they are upset FOR him or if he's somehow got people all riled up but either way this is completely unacceptable.

    I don't even know what to say about this or have any clue as to why he would do such a thing. I'm at a complete loss here. Aside from a big OMG, the first thing I said to CM when she told me was "And he wonders why he doesn't have any friends". He tells lies like this (not exactly like this but you know what I mean), purposely (at times) acts like an idiot and then for the life of him, can't figure out why people don't want to be around him. This though, tops it even for him. CM is going to email difficult child's counselor when she gets back to the office as he has an appointment tomorrow.

    I'm just sitting here staring at the screen trying to figure out what to type. I'll give the boy one thing, he's accomplished something that doesn't happen often. I'm completely speechless.
     
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    I have a hard time believing he's doing something like this on purpose. It sounds as if he has major issues with distorted thinking that is out of touch with reality. Has he ever had hallucinations? Can you contact his psychiatrist to get his take on what is going on?
     
  3. ChefPaula1965

    ChefPaula1965 Oh my aching back!!

    Well, this sure is a BIG OMG!!
    I agree that you may want to check with- psychiatrist before anything else.. sometimes the difficult children, living in their own world as we all know, are convinced that they are martyrs for a cause.. and convince themselves of things that are so far from reality.... This is really scary.. I don't know which is more scarry.. your difficult child doing this on purpose to get attention or him realy being convinced that this has happened.... Wow.. my heart goes out to you.. Either way... somehow.. in my humble opinion ... the uncovering of the lie needs to be as public as the lie was.. whoever has heard this fallacy needs to know it is not true... If he is upseting other kids about his sister's passing... they will be even more upset that this was all a lie... poor kid.. poor you... I have no advise to give you cause I don't really know what I would do... just some support and hugs here..
    Paula
     
  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'mm so sorry. I know the pit you have in your stomach right now. My difficult child has made up some very outlandish lies before, coming close to what your difficult child has said but not exactly, a lot of it was about her birth family of which she knew nothing so it was all lies. She did it for attention because she felt that people would feel sorry for her and like her. She didn't realize that all it did was push people further away. She makes up things about her birth family often and then delights in everyone going around repeating it.

    I'll be interested to see what his counselor has to say and if they can find out why he has done this.

    Hugs,
    Nancy
     
  5. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    I've talked to his resource teacher. Apparently, a couple of girls told Mrs. W about this because they were worrired about difficult child as he didn't seem upset about it. He hasn't, to my knowledge, told any teachers in an attempt to get out of anything. (Which is typical of him if there's something he doesn't want to do). According to these girls, difficult child's sister (still don't know which one) was killed yesterday in a car accident. Mrs. W hasn't seen difficult child yet but from what she understands, aside from telling this story, he's acting normally. He's not upset, he's not crying, he's just telling one heck of a whopper.

    I have called the psychiatrist and left a message. I still can't believe though, that he would go to this extreme. Granted, he is a very gifted "story teller" but I just never thought he would say something like this. I have no idea what's going on in his head. I haven't seen signs of him being manic or anything else out of the ordinary. I'm at a loss. If this is something he came up with intentionally, without any symptoms if you Know what I mean?, I will throttle him.
     
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Why hasn't anyone confronted him about this?

    Or would that be a mute point?

    I'm with the other person who was asking about hallucinations - personally I'd call his bluff. I would have him admitted to the psychiatric hospital TODAY. When they ask why - tell them what he has told an entire school.

    It's not for me to figure out why he said it - I have no clue. I have no suggestions other than if this IS an attention seeking behavior - then the psychiatric hospital will let him know if he's going to behave irrationally - you will get sent to the psychiatric hospital. If it is NOT attention seeking skill? Then he NEEDS to be somewhere that he is not a danger to himself.

    As much as you would like to throttle him? I wouldn't give it any more creedance than "Hey teacher called and said you are telling the school your sister died in a car wreck, any comments?" And act as cool as ice - dont' get upset - don't feed into the urge to confront him any more than that.

    Then I'd walk away going "Oh uh huh." and take him to the hopsital. Sometimes NOT giving them the reaction they seek is more punishment than they want. And like I said - if it's not attention seeking - you have got big problems that need help immediately.

    Hugs
    Star
     
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'm with Star. I'd confront him because you need to see if this is just him telling a huge whopper for attention/sympathy or if this is something he believes.

    I'm gonna chime in here because, and this is embarrassing for me to admit, I did this sort of thing in the years before high school. Some was for attention, some was I think I wanted other kids to "like" me, and probably some other reasons too. But I did grow out of it. And I could come up with some lu lu's let me tell you.

    Personally, I hope it's just a case of the boy telling whoppers.

    Hugs
     
  8. I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this. I really wonder sometimes what they are thinking. My difficult child did something similar, he was in group when he was in the partial hospitalization program last fall and proceeded to tell the group that his uncle and his cousin were killed in a drive by. I found out because the counselor wrote on his report that comes home at the end of the day that he said this and was very upset during group about it. I was APPALLED that he had made something like that up.

    I would definitely bring it to his psychiatrist's attention, if not take him for an assessment at the psychiatric hospital. If it wasn't something to just gain attention, it could be signs of delusions.

    Good luck.

    Christy
     
  9. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I am sorry he is going through this, when K was very Psychotic around Thanksgiving, she was Hallucinating, she "Had a Brother TUTU who was 26, he had died" She went on and on about this. She was convinced he was real... she told stories about him. She would become very angry and agitated when we discounted him or the story.
    After a week she became stable again, with medications and he went away.
    I don't know what difficult child is going through or if he is making this up or what, but I do know how horrible it feels. I am so sorry. K honestly believed it and would just cry... she felt it.
    It was a horrible week for us.
    I hope you get some answers quick.
    Hugs
     
  10. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    The former CM and difficult child's resource teacher pulled him out of class this afternoon to talk to him about this. When they told him that people were worried about him because of him saying that his sister died, he laughed. From that point on though, it went downhill and he wound up yelling at them and very mad because they had confronted him about it. His story is that he wanted to sleep and these kids kept bugging them so he told them this to get them to leave him alone. He thought it was all a big joke but got extremely angry when confronted on it. The two who talked to him didn't yell at all they simply questioned him on what was going on and why he said this.

    I haven't heard back from psychiatrist yet so I'm going to try calling again after I'm done here. His reaction to being confronted has me a little concerned and I'm almost afraid to bring it up here at home. (Not physically afraid just afraid I'll open a big ol can of worms. AAAARRRGH. I hate this)
     
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