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<blockquote data-quote="LoveMyDuke" data-source="post: 312823"><p>Thanks, MWMom. Leaving Duke is just not an option...not even for a month or a week. I could go into explaining all the reasons behind that, but I'll spare you. It is what it is. Where I go my dog goes. Roadblock? Yea, I suppose. But he is all I have. I would not make it without him.</p><p> </p><p>I have a good job and go to school full-time. It's not that I'm destitute or anything. There's just...well, a lot about me you all don't know. A lot about my past, I should say. Sometimes I get to feeling so damn sorry for myself...WTF did I do to deserve to have my baby die and then her dad commit suicide? Duke is my only "physical" connection to them and he will never, ever be away from me. Never. Not even for a day.</p><p> </p><p>You are right about detaching. I started counseling on Friday and she said the same thing...back off, stay out of it, don't do anything parental. I try. It's just hard when I have to listen to all that screaming, especially when I'm so sick. Right now I'm locked in my study with two fans and an online white noise maker going...it is successfully drowning out the rest of the house. But if want to dress, go to the bathroom, eat...I have to be around them. I can't avoid it.</p><p> </p><p>I do have friends in the area, just not really *good* friends who I could stay with or even talk to about all this. They don't get it. And the ones who I have talked to are probably sick of hearing about it. Can't say I blame them. Who wants to listen to someone whining about a situation they KNOWINGLY placed themself into? That's what I did. Dove in head-first knowing exactly what I was getting into. So yea, my bad, that was some really fine decision-making. </p><p> </p><p>Dave is no physical threat to me. He is a complete idiot, but he knows his a** would land in jail if he tried to ever touch me in anger. He doesn't drink or do drugs at all. I had my share of living with an alcoholic and know Al-Anon like the back of my hand. It saved my life, probably. But at any rate, there are no substance abuse issues at all now. Just one man who is a complete IDIOT and a child who is the product of that idiocy.</p><p> </p><p>Yes, there is a way. It's just scary doing it all alone. I am going to look today at apartments. I dread the thought, but it is what it is. It wouldn't have to be forever...I keep telling myself that.</p><p> </p><p>Oh, and I live in Wisconsin.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LoveMyDuke, post: 312823"] Thanks, MWMom. Leaving Duke is just not an option...not even for a month or a week. I could go into explaining all the reasons behind that, but I'll spare you. It is what it is. Where I go my dog goes. Roadblock? Yea, I suppose. But he is all I have. I would not make it without him. I have a good job and go to school full-time. It's not that I'm destitute or anything. There's just...well, a lot about me you all don't know. A lot about my past, I should say. Sometimes I get to feeling so damn sorry for myself...WTF did I do to deserve to have my baby die and then her dad commit suicide? Duke is my only "physical" connection to them and he will never, ever be away from me. Never. Not even for a day. You are right about detaching. I started counseling on Friday and she said the same thing...back off, stay out of it, don't do anything parental. I try. It's just hard when I have to listen to all that screaming, especially when I'm so sick. Right now I'm locked in my study with two fans and an online white noise maker going...it is successfully drowning out the rest of the house. But if want to dress, go to the bathroom, eat...I have to be around them. I can't avoid it. I do have friends in the area, just not really *good* friends who I could stay with or even talk to about all this. They don't get it. And the ones who I have talked to are probably sick of hearing about it. Can't say I blame them. Who wants to listen to someone whining about a situation they KNOWINGLY placed themself into? That's what I did. Dove in head-first knowing exactly what I was getting into. So yea, my bad, that was some really fine decision-making. Dave is no physical threat to me. He is a complete idiot, but he knows his a** would land in jail if he tried to ever touch me in anger. He doesn't drink or do drugs at all. I had my share of living with an alcoholic and know Al-Anon like the back of my hand. It saved my life, probably. But at any rate, there are no substance abuse issues at all now. Just one man who is a complete IDIOT and a child who is the product of that idiocy. Yes, there is a way. It's just scary doing it all alone. I am going to look today at apartments. I dread the thought, but it is what it is. It wouldn't have to be forever...I keep telling myself that. Oh, and I live in Wisconsin. [/QUOTE]
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