Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
In her 2nd letter to Nichole..........katie did some really weird sort of "out there" apology to me. The way it was worded in the letter it was as if she forgot she was writing to Nichole, instead of me, for a while. It started out of the blue, she said the apology (such as it was), and went on to something else just as randomly. Nichole wrote her back that I had no issue with not talking to her, that she needed to make up her mind as to what it is that she wanted.
Nichole sent the kids valentines. I didn't. Sticking to my no contact bit. The other grands received a small heart of chocolates, except Oliver who got a rubber duckie.
Nichole did state a week or so ago that she was a bit worried she hadn't heard from katie for several weeks. I simply stated she probably didn't have money for stamps, it was the end of last month after all. Nichole said, yeah that was probably it........she'd sent her self addressed stamped envelopes prior to the valentines, didn't with those because she'd run out of stamps.
She received another letter day before yesterday. Katie's excuse for it being so long was that Alex's asthma has become so severe and he's been horribly sick, then Evan caught a resp bug and was terribly sick too. Now I'm sorry, but I had to chuckle at this. I said why can't she just say Oh, I didn't have cash for a stamp. I mean c'mon, what is the big deal? Whatever. She went on about how much medications the poor boy is on, using both an inhaler several times a day as well as the breathing treatments AND pills. I'm not sure if this was a ploy to gain sympathy or not. I know it's not going to work with me. I find it impossible to believe that suddenly at the age of 8 Alex developed severe asthma out of the blue. He's never had a symptom until this doctor decided he had it. He's had resp infections/bugs......just like any other child, his failure to get over them at times has been because he was not properly treated for them. So, no sympathy to be gained there.
Any hoo........she deamed it ok for me to write her only IF I forget the past and never bring it up again. I am never again to talk to her like I did on fb.
Okaaaaay. While I admit I gave her a piece of my mind AND I was brutally honest with her, trust me, it's not like the kid was abused by my words by a long shot. I went over them a while back, and considering the circumstances they're outrageously mild. I have no control over what was said to her by Nichole or easy child and there is no way I'm taking responsibility for their actions. Nichole has already apologized to katie, obviously. easy child probably never will. That is between easy child and katie. Not me.
She is sitting there thinking that she's "punished" me for about 6 months, ought to be time enough for me to forgive and forget and to be desperate to see the kids. She *thought* the response letter to Nichole the first time would trigger one from me. It didn't. So in the 2nd, she added a half a$$ed apology to me, hoping to trigger a response. It didn't. So this time, she's given me permission to write, under her terms.
I dunno who this kid thinks she's dealing with, but I am not her biomom. I do not tolerate disrespect. I don't give a d@mn who you are. And it will be a cold day in hell before I apologize for the person that I am or pretend to be someone I'm not in order to have a relationship with them. This is what she expects; an apology AND me to beg her forgiveness and to see the kids. Exactly what her biomom would do, would have most likely done long before so much time had passed.
Do I miss them? Yeah, I suppose I do somewhat. Oddly though, not even anywhere near what one would expect. Sort of rankled that I didn't feel comfortable giving her kids valentines because it would show her weakness to that line I drew. But that is about it. Fact of the matter is, she destroyed the once very close relationship I had with Kayla and Alex 10 yrs ago. I have as yet to have any real opportunity to rebuild relationships of any closeness with the kids. The relationship I have with katies kids is nothing like the relationship I have with the other grands. So it just didn't have the effect she hoped it would have. (although even if I were close I'd not allow myself to be manipulated in such a way, regardless) It's going to sound awful, but not having to deal with either katie or the kids has been somewhat of a relief while I dealt with the loss of husband.
So when Nichole told me she had said it was alright for me to write her and the conditions........... I just laughed and reminded her I had as yet to get an apology. Sending me a half a$$ed one via her sister like some Jr High kid doesn't qualify as an apology in my book. She knows my address by heart. I own a mailbox. She can get onto any computer, and I know she does as she has to "look for work" and prove she has in order to live there, check her fb message from me and have both my new cell number and new house phone number.
I just shake my head at the "forget the past" part. Is she serious? Can she possibly be so unrealistic? We can and have forgiven. But we will never forget the pain and trauma she caused all those years ago.
Oh........and she told Nichole that M is there because since he is on the lease she could not make him leave. But "we're not living together as man and wife". (great, that just puts kayla into more danger from the perv, smart move mom) I reminded Nichole today that the lease they signed that had him on it too was signed in either April or May. If she wants to make him leave (which she states she does) all she has to do is tell the manager she does not want him on the lease. Manager will evict him and he'll have 30 days to move. I told Nichole she might want to mention that in case katie doesn't know it. Guess we'll see soon how serious she was.
So....it will be what it will be. Whatever. I've reached the point where I just honestly don't care that much if I have contact with them or not, especially since there is nothing I can do to get the grands out of the situation. Once sils little sis realized that Alex is a member of our family (and I'm guessing sils mom filled her in with a little background)......we have fairly reg updates on all 3 kids from her interactions with them in school. Small town, small school. It doesn't take much. I find that is enough for now.
Nichole sent the kids valentines. I didn't. Sticking to my no contact bit. The other grands received a small heart of chocolates, except Oliver who got a rubber duckie.
Nichole did state a week or so ago that she was a bit worried she hadn't heard from katie for several weeks. I simply stated she probably didn't have money for stamps, it was the end of last month after all. Nichole said, yeah that was probably it........she'd sent her self addressed stamped envelopes prior to the valentines, didn't with those because she'd run out of stamps.
She received another letter day before yesterday. Katie's excuse for it being so long was that Alex's asthma has become so severe and he's been horribly sick, then Evan caught a resp bug and was terribly sick too. Now I'm sorry, but I had to chuckle at this. I said why can't she just say Oh, I didn't have cash for a stamp. I mean c'mon, what is the big deal? Whatever. She went on about how much medications the poor boy is on, using both an inhaler several times a day as well as the breathing treatments AND pills. I'm not sure if this was a ploy to gain sympathy or not. I know it's not going to work with me. I find it impossible to believe that suddenly at the age of 8 Alex developed severe asthma out of the blue. He's never had a symptom until this doctor decided he had it. He's had resp infections/bugs......just like any other child, his failure to get over them at times has been because he was not properly treated for them. So, no sympathy to be gained there.
Any hoo........she deamed it ok for me to write her only IF I forget the past and never bring it up again. I am never again to talk to her like I did on fb.
Okaaaaay. While I admit I gave her a piece of my mind AND I was brutally honest with her, trust me, it's not like the kid was abused by my words by a long shot. I went over them a while back, and considering the circumstances they're outrageously mild. I have no control over what was said to her by Nichole or easy child and there is no way I'm taking responsibility for their actions. Nichole has already apologized to katie, obviously. easy child probably never will. That is between easy child and katie. Not me.
She is sitting there thinking that she's "punished" me for about 6 months, ought to be time enough for me to forgive and forget and to be desperate to see the kids. She *thought* the response letter to Nichole the first time would trigger one from me. It didn't. So in the 2nd, she added a half a$$ed apology to me, hoping to trigger a response. It didn't. So this time, she's given me permission to write, under her terms.
I dunno who this kid thinks she's dealing with, but I am not her biomom. I do not tolerate disrespect. I don't give a d@mn who you are. And it will be a cold day in hell before I apologize for the person that I am or pretend to be someone I'm not in order to have a relationship with them. This is what she expects; an apology AND me to beg her forgiveness and to see the kids. Exactly what her biomom would do, would have most likely done long before so much time had passed.
Do I miss them? Yeah, I suppose I do somewhat. Oddly though, not even anywhere near what one would expect. Sort of rankled that I didn't feel comfortable giving her kids valentines because it would show her weakness to that line I drew. But that is about it. Fact of the matter is, she destroyed the once very close relationship I had with Kayla and Alex 10 yrs ago. I have as yet to have any real opportunity to rebuild relationships of any closeness with the kids. The relationship I have with katies kids is nothing like the relationship I have with the other grands. So it just didn't have the effect she hoped it would have. (although even if I were close I'd not allow myself to be manipulated in such a way, regardless) It's going to sound awful, but not having to deal with either katie or the kids has been somewhat of a relief while I dealt with the loss of husband.
So when Nichole told me she had said it was alright for me to write her and the conditions........... I just laughed and reminded her I had as yet to get an apology. Sending me a half a$$ed one via her sister like some Jr High kid doesn't qualify as an apology in my book. She knows my address by heart. I own a mailbox. She can get onto any computer, and I know she does as she has to "look for work" and prove she has in order to live there, check her fb message from me and have both my new cell number and new house phone number.
I just shake my head at the "forget the past" part. Is she serious? Can she possibly be so unrealistic? We can and have forgiven. But we will never forget the pain and trauma she caused all those years ago.
Oh........and she told Nichole that M is there because since he is on the lease she could not make him leave. But "we're not living together as man and wife". (great, that just puts kayla into more danger from the perv, smart move mom) I reminded Nichole today that the lease they signed that had him on it too was signed in either April or May. If she wants to make him leave (which she states she does) all she has to do is tell the manager she does not want him on the lease. Manager will evict him and he'll have 30 days to move. I told Nichole she might want to mention that in case katie doesn't know it. Guess we'll see soon how serious she was.
So....it will be what it will be. Whatever. I've reached the point where I just honestly don't care that much if I have contact with them or not, especially since there is nothing I can do to get the grands out of the situation. Once sils little sis realized that Alex is a member of our family (and I'm guessing sils mom filled her in with a little background)......we have fairly reg updates on all 3 kids from her interactions with them in school. Small town, small school. It doesn't take much. I find that is enough for now.
