I Have "Permission" to Write hahahahaha *snort*

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Mar 9, 2012.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    In her 2nd letter to Nichole..........katie did some really weird sort of "out there" apology to me. The way it was worded in the letter it was as if she forgot she was writing to Nichole, instead of me, for a while. It started out of the blue, she said the apology (such as it was), and went on to something else just as randomly. Nichole wrote her back that I had no issue with not talking to her, that she needed to make up her mind as to what it is that she wanted.

    Nichole sent the kids valentines. I didn't. Sticking to my no contact bit. The other grands received a small heart of chocolates, except Oliver who got a rubber duckie.

    Nichole did state a week or so ago that she was a bit worried she hadn't heard from katie for several weeks. I simply stated she probably didn't have money for stamps, it was the end of last month after all. Nichole said, yeah that was probably it........she'd sent her self addressed stamped envelopes prior to the valentines, didn't with those because she'd run out of stamps.

    She received another letter day before yesterday. Katie's excuse for it being so long was that Alex's asthma has become so severe and he's been horribly sick, then Evan caught a resp bug and was terribly sick too. Now I'm sorry, but I had to chuckle at this. I said why can't she just say Oh, I didn't have cash for a stamp. I mean c'mon, what is the big deal? Whatever. She went on about how much medications the poor boy is on, using both an inhaler several times a day as well as the breathing treatments AND pills. I'm not sure if this was a ploy to gain sympathy or not. I know it's not going to work with me. I find it impossible to believe that suddenly at the age of 8 Alex developed severe asthma out of the blue. He's never had a symptom until this doctor decided he had it. He's had resp infections/bugs......just like any other child, his failure to get over them at times has been because he was not properly treated for them. So, no sympathy to be gained there.

    Any hoo........she deamed it ok for me to write her only IF I forget the past and never bring it up again. I am never again to talk to her like I did on fb. :rofl:

    Okaaaaay. While I admit I gave her a piece of my mind AND I was brutally honest with her, trust me, it's not like the kid was abused by my words by a long shot. I went over them a while back, and considering the circumstances they're outrageously mild. I have no control over what was said to her by Nichole or easy child and there is no way I'm taking responsibility for their actions. Nichole has already apologized to katie, obviously. easy child probably never will. That is between easy child and katie. Not me.

    She is sitting there thinking that she's "punished" me for about 6 months, ought to be time enough for me to forgive and forget and to be desperate to see the kids. She *thought* the response letter to Nichole the first time would trigger one from me. It didn't. So in the 2nd, she added a half a$$ed apology to me, hoping to trigger a response. It didn't. So this time, she's given me permission to write, under her terms.

    I dunno who this kid thinks she's dealing with, but I am not her biomom. I do not tolerate disrespect. I don't give a d@mn who you are. And it will be a cold day in hell before I apologize for the person that I am or pretend to be someone I'm not in order to have a relationship with them. This is what she expects; an apology AND me to beg her forgiveness and to see the kids. Exactly what her biomom would do, would have most likely done long before so much time had passed.

    Do I miss them? Yeah, I suppose I do somewhat. Oddly though, not even anywhere near what one would expect. Sort of rankled that I didn't feel comfortable giving her kids valentines because it would show her weakness to that line I drew. But that is about it. Fact of the matter is, she destroyed the once very close relationship I had with Kayla and Alex 10 yrs ago. I have as yet to have any real opportunity to rebuild relationships of any closeness with the kids. The relationship I have with katies kids is nothing like the relationship I have with the other grands. So it just didn't have the effect she hoped it would have. (although even if I were close I'd not allow myself to be manipulated in such a way, regardless) It's going to sound awful, but not having to deal with either katie or the kids has been somewhat of a relief while I dealt with the loss of husband.

    So when Nichole told me she had said it was alright for me to write her and the conditions........... I just laughed and reminded her I had as yet to get an apology. Sending me a half a$$ed one via her sister like some Jr High kid doesn't qualify as an apology in my book. She knows my address by heart. I own a mailbox. She can get onto any computer, and I know she does as she has to "look for work" and prove she has in order to live there, check her fb message from me and have both my new cell number and new house phone number.

    I just shake my head at the "forget the past" part. Is she serious? Can she possibly be so unrealistic? We can and have forgiven. But we will never forget the pain and trauma she caused all those years ago. :sigh:

    Oh........and she told Nichole that M is there because since he is on the lease she could not make him leave. But "we're not living together as man and wife". (great, that just puts kayla into more danger from the perv, smart move mom) I reminded Nichole today that the lease they signed that had him on it too was signed in either April or May. If she wants to make him leave (which she states she does) all she has to do is tell the manager she does not want him on the lease. Manager will evict him and he'll have 30 days to move. I told Nichole she might want to mention that in case katie doesn't know it. Guess we'll see soon how serious she was.

    So....it will be what it will be. Whatever. I've reached the point where I just honestly don't care that much if I have contact with them or not, especially since there is nothing I can do to get the grands out of the situation. Once sils little sis realized that Alex is a member of our family (and I'm guessing sils mom filled her in with a little background)......we have fairly reg updates on all 3 kids from her interactions with them in school. Small town, small school. It doesn't take much. I find that is enough for now.
     
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    It's kinda like being blessed by the Pope when you aren't even Christian...to say nothing of Catholic, lol. Hugs DDD
     
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How idiotic! Can I ask if their last name is Revels? I swear they sound just like my idiot. As if you should beg her forgiveness...yeah right.

    You know what I think is more likely? I think she was waiting thinking there might be some money coming to her from her dad so she was going to stick around saying nothing just waiting for a lawyer to contact her. She probably figured once her father was gone she didnt even have to try to play nice anymore. The money would just fall in her lap. It probably confused her when it didnt. Then she probably got mad and confused so she contacted Nichole trying to snoop. Now she may think if she attempts to reach out to you even with setting her sort of limits, you will tell some lawyer how to find her. As if a lawyer wouldnt have known how...lmao. She and M just arent smart enough to know there isnt anything to go to them. I think they are still hoping.
     
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    No it's not, Janet. lol But I must admit I was going to ask you Bucks last name because M and he are so alike it's unreal.......

    Considering M still believes he has a fortune coming from an grandfather that passed away when he was maybe 10 or so.........and I'm certain katie thought she had inheritance from mother in law when she came here, you're probably right. Guess they'll be sorely disappointed again. I wonder how long it will take them to figure out there is nothing? lol
     
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I wonder if somehow we are related because that is so exactly what gfgbro would say to me - you can talk to me but only if you promise that the past is all forgiven and won't ever be mentioned or thought of again. Except what you have done to wrong me, and that will be used to flog you every time I get upset.

    Why do people think that forgiveness means you have to forget and have the exact same feelings/relationship that existed before the action that needed forgiving? ANd why is it that only their behavior is to be forgotten, never yours?

    I am sure she is thinking that you are sitting on an inheritance that she is owed, and she is allowing you to contact her so that you can shower these riches upon her. Makes me wish your husband had a few mason jars where he collected his toenail clippings over the years so you could wrap them up and give them to her as her inheritance.

    At least you got a laugh over her nerve!
     
  6. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    I have never cared for the drama and the older I get the less I can deal with it!!! I don't think you sound mean at all, you understand (in my opinion) that she would use the grands to manipulate you, you're an intelligent strong woman.

    I have a niece that has a worthless husband she divorced and he just shows up on her door step when he quits his job, which is frequently. She says she can't get him to leave yes you can, you are divorced!!!!! My mother says I just don't understand the situation. BULL! I stay away from the niece because I'm tired of hearing about it.

    I'm the same with my difficult child, don't send me imature emails at 33 act like and adult. I'm on the last half of my life and I plan on living it as stress free as possible.
     
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    LOL Tired...a worthless husband she cant get to leave? Oh please! Take out the trash. I can just see what would happen if my ex showed up...lmao. After I stopped laughing at him, he would see the outside of my door.
     
  8. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest

    Ha Janet...i wouldn't open the door. Just call the police...he's back.....come get him. Then i would sterilize my doorbell. ;)
     
  9. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Hound--

    I think this is just more proof that the world must revolve around katie. In her mind, I'm sure she cannot even grasp the concept of YOU choosing NOT to write to HER. Does. Not. Compute.

    Therefore, she figures that at some point, she must have told you that you are not allowed to write her...that's the only logical explanation that she can process.

    So she'd like to reassure you that she does not mean it anymore....of course you may write. And she will magnanimously allow you that priviledge...because that shows what a wonderful person she is.

    Lucky you.
     
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Second chapter and verse? Same as the first........

    Good Lord when it came to brains she thought they said trains, and must have spoken up and said "I want the one to Hogwarts." Because the girl is living in an alternate, fantasy reality.

    Chapter three?

    Dear MOTHER - :fantasysmiley:

    It would behoove you to forget the past, and me, and the kids as I have now won a bazillion dollars on the scratch off ticket my wonderful, loving M got with our SNAP money, and we are going to live at the castle - ONLY Nichole is welcome. - K

    Yeesh..
     
  11. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Does she really think any of you buy into her nonsense? You know who loves you.
     
  12. Elsieshaye

    Elsieshaye Member

    Lisa, your post is exactly what I needed to read today. (Got another email from difficult child and am a bit sad.) You're seeing the behavior very clearly for exactly what it is. She's in Bizarroworld.
     
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