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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 368361" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Good for You!!!! I am glad that it has worked. It was a tool that did not work for Wiz because he was so violent with me that unless I was willing to kill him there was NO way I could even meet the level of violence he dished out. He sure never tried to restrain me to calm me down though. He was pretty sure that it would be his LAST act on this earth after the way gfgbro used to use that tactic. </p><p></p><p>In my state it is on the books and encouraged by the police that parents use "physical discipline" to handle children. Child Protection hates it, but they cannot take someone who spanks a child to court. No cop will arrest a parent for it unless there are HUGE signs of abuse. We had a cop tell Wiz that he better NOT hit back if he got slapped or spanked or even had a belt taken to his ass. She said she would come out and arrest him for assault if he EVER tried that because it is a parents legal DUTY to discipline a child that way and it was ASSAULT that WOULD result in jail time if the child hit the parent under ANY circumstance.</p><p></p><p>We still didn't spank him because it had already been very clear to us that if he got spanked he used much more violence with his sibs. He would retaliate on them. </p><p></p><p>But I am glad you found a tool that worked. Just be SURE to back it up when he tests you!!!</p><p></p><p>I have told my kids that they can call to report abuse at any time. But they better pack whatever they want to continue to own because they will be leaving with the social worker and they won't be coming back. They ALL know I mean it. If real abuse happened, even if <strong>I</strong> did it, I would call and report it myself. But I refuse to be held hostage to a threat of being called an abuser. In OH I had a friend who worked for Chidlren's Services and she laughed her fool head off the day Wiz tried to tell her he was abused. She told him he better not ever try that stunt because if she wasn't the worker assigned she would talk to the worker assigned and things would go badly for him. He had a few little friends who used that threat to make parents cave. Wiz felt very deprived and abused because we would not fall for that ploy. He actually wrote a sad little poem all about how we didn't love him and wouldn't let him report abuse when he was mad at us. </p><p></p><p>About the third time he recited it I just could NOT help myself. I fell off the couch laughing about it!! It was SOOOO contrived and all his "sadness" over it was SOOOOOO fake!! Boy did THAT response shock him. He expected me to react the way my mother would have - with lots of proclamations of love everlasting, apologies for upsetting him, trips to get junk food to make him feel "loved" and new toys, books and videos to "apologize" for "hurting" him. </p><p></p><p>His psychiatrist and therapist thought it was funny too. They kept a copy of the poem because it was just tooo funny. (If he had truly felt that way it would not have been funny, but he was so clearly faking it that it was a riot!)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 368361, member: 1233"] Good for You!!!! I am glad that it has worked. It was a tool that did not work for Wiz because he was so violent with me that unless I was willing to kill him there was NO way I could even meet the level of violence he dished out. He sure never tried to restrain me to calm me down though. He was pretty sure that it would be his LAST act on this earth after the way gfgbro used to use that tactic. In my state it is on the books and encouraged by the police that parents use "physical discipline" to handle children. Child Protection hates it, but they cannot take someone who spanks a child to court. No cop will arrest a parent for it unless there are HUGE signs of abuse. We had a cop tell Wiz that he better NOT hit back if he got slapped or spanked or even had a belt taken to his ass. She said she would come out and arrest him for assault if he EVER tried that because it is a parents legal DUTY to discipline a child that way and it was ASSAULT that WOULD result in jail time if the child hit the parent under ANY circumstance. We still didn't spank him because it had already been very clear to us that if he got spanked he used much more violence with his sibs. He would retaliate on them. But I am glad you found a tool that worked. Just be SURE to back it up when he tests you!!! I have told my kids that they can call to report abuse at any time. But they better pack whatever they want to continue to own because they will be leaving with the social worker and they won't be coming back. They ALL know I mean it. If real abuse happened, even if [B]I[/B] did it, I would call and report it myself. But I refuse to be held hostage to a threat of being called an abuser. In OH I had a friend who worked for Chidlren's Services and she laughed her fool head off the day Wiz tried to tell her he was abused. She told him he better not ever try that stunt because if she wasn't the worker assigned she would talk to the worker assigned and things would go badly for him. He had a few little friends who used that threat to make parents cave. Wiz felt very deprived and abused because we would not fall for that ploy. He actually wrote a sad little poem all about how we didn't love him and wouldn't let him report abuse when he was mad at us. About the third time he recited it I just could NOT help myself. I fell off the couch laughing about it!! It was SOOOO contrived and all his "sadness" over it was SOOOOOO fake!! Boy did THAT response shock him. He expected me to react the way my mother would have - with lots of proclamations of love everlasting, apologies for upsetting him, trips to get junk food to make him feel "loved" and new toys, books and videos to "apologize" for "hurting" him. His psychiatrist and therapist thought it was funny too. They kept a copy of the poem because it was just tooo funny. (If he had truly felt that way it would not have been funny, but he was so clearly faking it that it was a riot!) [/QUOTE]
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