Yep.............for ten days I refuse to voice my opinion!!!!!!!! Do you know how freaking hard that is for me????? So I decided this last night but I woke up so panicked that I had to pare this down to a manageable size. So now I have decided that I will not speak my opinion about what should be done with difficult children treatment to the group home for ten days. I promise. Cross my lips and swear to you. I will keep my mind sealed. To doctors, therapists, matthew, whomever calls. I will remain neutral. However, I still have to speak my mind at work, or I will implode. God help me. Slowly, I will be able to work through this and find peace. More crazy, CRAZY things happened today at work. I am sick, and I told them I cannot come in tomorrow, and I have the next 4 days off after that - so that will help in finding some equilibrium (and a new job). I just know in my gut something really bad is going to happen with this employee I am scared of. In fact it did today, but it could not be directly traced to him. Oddly, today I felt compelled to leave because I was about to vomit on a customer, and a half hour later this major episode happened. Thank God, truly, I was not there. It was dangerous, but fortunately another male manager handled it, and I believe because he was a male the situation did not escalate more than it did. Had it been just me, alone, I am not sure what would have happened. (And the employee I am in question of thought at the time I was the only manager, but he was wrong, because he did not know that I had gone home sick.) The male manager was upset enough to call the other managers, and say he felt in danger, if that tells you anything. Anyway......... When the universe shouts, it shouts it loud and clear, doesn't it? Steely..........run. Run like the wind. But be silent and agile like a bird. Thanks for you support. I hope my vow of silence helps Matthew at least, since the treatment team thinks that I am a controlling, enabling, crazy, Mom. Yeah, well, that is a whole other story. In fact I will right a book about that part.