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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 677077" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Welcome Drowning,</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry for what you are going through and I'm glad you found us here. You will find much needed support within these pages from parents who have fought the battle and survived.</p><p></p><p>What a wonderful and loving thing you did by adopting him. Know that there is no guarantee that things would have turned out differently if he was your biological child. There are many here on this site that have bio-kids that are just as difficult as those kids who were adopted.</p><p></p><p>You have done your best and that is all any of us can do. It's just so hard because we have given our heart to these kids and they have broken them. My son has shattered my heart more times than I can remember. I do not trust him and don't know if I ever will be able to. It hurts but it is what it is and over time I have come to accept it. The life I had hoped for my son is not what he wants for himself and accepting that fact has allowed me to free myself from the chaos of his choices.</p><p></p><p>We cannot control or change our Difficult Child, we can only change ourselves and how we choose to respond.</p><p></p><p>The most important thing you can do is to take very good care of yourself. Do things that you enjoy and know that it's ok be happy and live your life for yourself. You have nothing to feel guilty about.</p><p></p><p>Our Difficult Child are masters at manipulation and they are counting on us to feel guilty so that we will give in to their pleas for money or whatever it is they are looking for. Again, you have nothing to feel guilty about.</p><p>Your son has shown that he can hold a job and make a decent living so now it's up to him. His life, his choice as to how he will live it.</p><p></p><p>Stay close to this site as we can be your life preserver. ((HUGS)) for your hurting heart.</p><p></p><p><img src="http://lighthouseman.kellyadvantage.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/LifeRingLRM-20B.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 677077, member: 18516"] Welcome Drowning, I am so sorry for what you are going through and I'm glad you found us here. You will find much needed support within these pages from parents who have fought the battle and survived. What a wonderful and loving thing you did by adopting him. Know that there is no guarantee that things would have turned out differently if he was your biological child. There are many here on this site that have bio-kids that are just as difficult as those kids who were adopted. You have done your best and that is all any of us can do. It's just so hard because we have given our heart to these kids and they have broken them. My son has shattered my heart more times than I can remember. I do not trust him and don't know if I ever will be able to. It hurts but it is what it is and over time I have come to accept it. The life I had hoped for my son is not what he wants for himself and accepting that fact has allowed me to free myself from the chaos of his choices. We cannot control or change our Difficult Child, we can only change ourselves and how we choose to respond. The most important thing you can do is to take very good care of yourself. Do things that you enjoy and know that it's ok be happy and live your life for yourself. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Our Difficult Child are masters at manipulation and they are counting on us to feel guilty so that we will give in to their pleas for money or whatever it is they are looking for. Again, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Your son has shown that he can hold a job and make a decent living so now it's up to him. His life, his choice as to how he will live it. Stay close to this site as we can be your life preserver. ((HUGS)) for your hurting heart. [IMG]http://lighthouseman.kellyadvantage.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/LifeRingLRM-20B.jpg[/IMG] [/QUOTE]
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