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I hope they are wrong
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<blockquote data-quote="jetsam" data-source="post: 698282" data-attributes="member: 20689"><p>trying, I fell into the trap of the threats with school etc.. but he ended up dropping out in his senior year of high school anyway. Nothing i said made any difference. But its funny when HE finally decided what he wanted he was able to get his GED and then went on to get his associates degree in culinary arts. The point is they are soo manipulative and we just cave because we are so invested in them. But all we are really doing is prolonging the chaos. When I started to detach somewhat (I'm not fully there yet by any means) He started to do more for himself cuz mom wasn't gonna! When i saw that he was much more capable then i imagined I realized that I was so codependent upon him it wasn't funny. I started reading the book titled "codependent no more" by Melody Beattie- WHAT AN EYE OPENER that was!! talk about taking a good look in the mirror. It wasn't easy to see myself in that role but there it was staring me straight in the face. So now I'm trying to work on my codependent behavior. I have good days and bad days but ill keep plugging along cuz i know the sooner i get out of his business the better it will be for both of us. He is still living at home...we let him come back after a period of being on his own, something my husband and i should have never allowed, (codependency once again) and we rue the day we did! Until they see that they can't continually get what they want by their unacceptable behavior they will continue to exhibit it to varying degrees. So good luck with your daughter and take strength from all the people here. we are all on the same journey just taking different roads to our destination.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jetsam, post: 698282, member: 20689"] trying, I fell into the trap of the threats with school etc.. but he ended up dropping out in his senior year of high school anyway. Nothing i said made any difference. But its funny when HE finally decided what he wanted he was able to get his GED and then went on to get his associates degree in culinary arts. The point is they are soo manipulative and we just cave because we are so invested in them. But all we are really doing is prolonging the chaos. When I started to detach somewhat (I'm not fully there yet by any means) He started to do more for himself cuz mom wasn't gonna! When i saw that he was much more capable then i imagined I realized that I was so codependent upon him it wasn't funny. I started reading the book titled "codependent no more" by Melody Beattie- WHAT AN EYE OPENER that was!! talk about taking a good look in the mirror. It wasn't easy to see myself in that role but there it was staring me straight in the face. So now I'm trying to work on my codependent behavior. I have good days and bad days but ill keep plugging along cuz i know the sooner i get out of his business the better it will be for both of us. He is still living at home...we let him come back after a period of being on his own, something my husband and i should have never allowed, (codependency once again) and we rue the day we did! Until they see that they can't continually get what they want by their unacceptable behavior they will continue to exhibit it to varying degrees. So good luck with your daughter and take strength from all the people here. we are all on the same journey just taking different roads to our destination. [/QUOTE]
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