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General Parenting
I just can't fix everything....just a vent
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 90885" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>:future: So sorry for YOU! I wish I could make it better - for YOU! </p><p></p><p>in my opinion, and not in any way judging (believe me), but I think you are probably doing <em>too</em> much. This is just a game to her, and you are playing right along according to her queue cards. I think, that perhaps, the only way for her stop this is for you to leave when she is whining. </p><p></p><p>I say this from my own drama king, only his drama is not as much physical pain but more angry tantrums. I know for a fact, he does <em>not</em> tear the house apart in anger when I am not here. And I know for a fact, he actually seeks out a solution on his own, when I am not here, rather than acting helpless. Much, and I mean a lot, of his tantrums are drama. Not to say he is not really mad - just like Wynter is in pain - but there is a certain increase in severity when mom is here - the attention component is an intense drive for these kids.</p><p></p><p>So, when my difficult child begins his "tangents" I just leave. Sometimes, when I hear it coming - like your Wynter crying or my difficult child growling - I literally slip out the back door and go for a walk, or take a drive. I can act dumb when I get home, (and things are always calmer - amazing), about how I had no idea he was upset - or if I had not been able to slip out anonymously - I just acknowledge he was upset, and recognize how great it was that <em>he</em> got himself calmed down.</p><p></p><p>Just my 2 cents, but I believe ignoring this pattern of hers could be the only solution. Every other super parent thing you are doing seems to only be reinforcing the sick pattern, but ignoring can be very powerful, and perhaps the most influential.</p><p></p><p>Gentle hugs............ :smile:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 90885, member: 3301"] [img]:future:[/img] So sorry for YOU! I wish I could make it better - for YOU! in my opinion, and not in any way judging (believe me), but I think you are probably doing [i]too[/i] much. This is just a game to her, and you are playing right along according to her queue cards. I think, that perhaps, the only way for her stop this is for you to leave when she is whining. I say this from my own drama king, only his drama is not as much physical pain but more angry tantrums. I know for a fact, he does [i]not[/i] tear the house apart in anger when I am not here. And I know for a fact, he actually seeks out a solution on his own, when I am not here, rather than acting helpless. Much, and I mean a lot, of his tantrums are drama. Not to say he is not really mad - just like Wynter is in pain - but there is a certain increase in severity when mom is here - the attention component is an intense drive for these kids. So, when my difficult child begins his "tangents" I just leave. Sometimes, when I hear it coming - like your Wynter crying or my difficult child growling - I literally slip out the back door and go for a walk, or take a drive. I can act dumb when I get home, (and things are always calmer - amazing), about how I had no idea he was upset - or if I had not been able to slip out anonymously - I just acknowledge he was upset, and recognize how great it was that [i]he[/i] got himself calmed down. Just my 2 cents, but I believe ignoring this pattern of hers could be the only solution. Every other super parent thing you are doing seems to only be reinforcing the sick pattern, but ignoring can be very powerful, and perhaps the most influential. Gentle hugs............ [img]:smile:[/img] [/QUOTE]
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