I just can't take it.....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Robinboots, Jan 22, 2008.

  1. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    We told son that he would indeed be going to military school; unfortunately we discovered today my mother, who legally and morally has no rights whatsoever, has, long story short, made it so we probably cannot access the funds to pay tuition. No, it isn't identity theft or a bank issue, but just as devastating. Her words should not have been considered at all, but they were.

    The direct cause of her phone call was son's emails which lied to her about everything...... Just last week I thought she was finally beginning to understand. Then son got a new email (hahahamom@_____) and started in again. The worst part - he REFUSES to take responsibility (and I was surprised?) and/or admit he lied (again, surprise?). I just don't get it......

    I'm just sitting here crying, I don't know what to do now....I thought this was over but apparently not.
  2. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    It really stinks when people stick their noses in where they don't belong. I'm not sure I understand the situation at hand, but I do know that you're hurting and I'm sorry that this happened.

    I hope things work out better for you and your family.


  3. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you are suffering such pain. We do all we can to help our children and when we hit a road block it sets us back. Then we have to get back up on the horse. Be strong.
  4. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    Thanks to both of you.....

    And thanks for the hugs.....

    Getting on a horse would be a much better image right now than ripping off some heads!
  5. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    I'm so very sorry!!! How horrible to have the rug swept out from under your feet! i wish I knew more about the circumstances, but I can't imagine it feels very good to be sabotaged by difficult child and then your own mom. Is there any other way possible to obtain funding?? Is there any way to let the situation cool for a short while and re-approach the situation with mom? (creative e-mail address though! - had to have a small chuckle even though I know this is anything but amusing) Don't they understand that this is a last resort and possibly the only chance to make things OK? Shame on them for doing a diservice to your difficult child. (((HUGS))) - lots of them!!!
  6. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    Nope, she doesn't understand at all. She doesn't get it, never did, never will. I wrote her a scathing email, I hope her ears literally burn, and I'm done with her for good. My whole life has been like this - she NEVER EVER takes my side; I could say the sky was blue, and someone else say a different color and she'd say, but maybe they're just a little right????????
  7. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So sorry, it is hard to have people going against us. Heck, we have it hard enough with supports!
    I am sorry.

  8. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    I just got a call. Either someone from DFS or my atty called - and - praise God, we have the money! Son goes to military school Thursday!
  9. Jena

    Jena New Member

    i'm so sorry you are being tortured because that is what it is. you will find a way it sounds like you are very resourceful. my family is quite difficult too and has sent me nasty emails, and done horrible things, their a nightmare. the stress they have given me i too invisioned hurting someone yet like you i just sat and cried.

    family just s*cks sometimes........

    sorry but i had to say that cause it's true.

    Jen :)
  10. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    yes, yes, and yes!

    my mom has been a toxic presence in my life for years - quick with a loan, sure, and i'm grateful....even was with me when son was born 'cause his dad sure wasn't.....but i do NOT NEED her negative affect......

    this showdown, or whatever, is long overdue and i won't respond to her calls or emails - if she does either.

    son says he wants to go, he's going and, please God - this will work.

    thanks everyone, i love you all and don't even know you! {{HUGS}}
  11. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I saw this late. I'm glad it worked out for you.

    My mom and I are close now, but when my son was ill she was the anti to anything I was trying to do. Actually, she was that way before my son was sick, too, but that's when it became detrimental. It took a lot of years and a lot of firm boundaries in place that I absolutely would not allow her to cross - and a couple of WWIII-like battles - to get to where we are now.

  12. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    Thanks bunches! Haven't heard from her, things worked out okay, but yes, I'm still ticked! We'll see..... :)
  13. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I'm sorry your mom is being a horse's patootie. Stinks when they are.

    What, exactly is wrong with your son? Does he have an Dxes? Has he been evaluated? The reason I'm asking is that military school usually doesn't work for the type of kids that are here. It works for the typical rebellious teen who carried things a little too far, but for an ODDer or one with BiPolar (BP), it just usually doesn't work. You need staff who have dealt with kids who have issues, as well as therapists, group therapy, the discipline and behavior modification.

    I hope military school works for you. Good luck in the next steps of your journey.
  14. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I totally understand your being ticked at her. Keep up your boundaries, and make her leave you alone!!

    Sorry your son pulled this, I know my son has gone around us on many things to get gma and gpa to try to stop me. Usually resulted in us setting firmer boundaries, until the last battle, when I just let the Gparents have him.

    I hope military school works out, that he gets what he needs there. So very glad your mother didn't mess it up!

    Hugs, and be nice to yourself!!

  15. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    UPDATE ON THE MOTHER SITUATION - I am spitting nails!

    Came across, while cleaning up son's laptop to take to the Academy tomorrow, email exchanges between him and his lovely Gma:

    She tells him that I have an "agenda" and they both "know" this.....

    He tells her I was yelling about how much I want him gone - and she says "great".