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I just don't know anymore.
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 214125" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Hi! I went back and read your earlier post. You seem to have a lot of insight into your sister's differences. For a lot of us understanding that they are just BORN this way and not CHOOSING to be this way is a major hurdle.</p><p> </p><p>I am not sure your mom is past that hurdle. I am concerned that your mom is fine letting a 9yo go and live full time with a 19yo. It just seems that it would be too much responsibility to place on ANY 19yo, even one as level-headed as yourself.</p><p> </p><p>I know you have had a large role in raising your sister. Esp as your mom is a single parent, I know she had to really rely on you. So you are probably MUCH more mature than most people your age. </p><p> </p><p>Is your mom willing to take your sister for any testing to figure out what is really going on? To have her put on medication again to see if that will help her? To ask the school for an IEP for her? Would she fight you if YOU typed up the letters and worked with the school and docs to get these things done? </p><p> </p><p>You really DO have to focus on your life. Be a mentor, take some of the weight off your mom. Even research whatever medications and diagnosis the doctors suggest KD may have. Type up letters for your mom to sign to get more help in school for KD, that kind of thing. </p><p> </p><p>But you are at a point in your young life where you need to focus on YOUR education and life. If you need to have your sis come live with you in a few years, that is one thing. But 19 is just so very very young. And you have so much to do with college etc.... </p><p> </p><p>by the way, how does your fiance feel about all of the stuff with KD? IS he willing to help? To have her live with you? If he is not on the same page that alone could spell disaster.</p><p> </p><p>Just so you know, having a child with this kind of difficulties often tears a relationship apart. The last time I heard stats about it, most marriages ended within 7 years of a child getting a serious mental health diagnosis. That is pretty scary as you are just heading into a relationship. </p><p> </p><p>Take things slow with taking responsiblity for your sister. Help out for now. When you are on more solid footing with your OWN life, then if you need to raise your sister you would be in a better position to do so. Make SURE, if you take your sister in, that your mom will still cover insurance, medical stuff, etc... This can be extremely expensive, and you MUSt discuss it ahead of time with your mom. </p><p> </p><p>You really are a wonderful daughter and sister. Your mom must be very proud of you. I know I am proud just to know you.</p><p> </p><p>Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 214125, member: 1233"] Hi! I went back and read your earlier post. You seem to have a lot of insight into your sister's differences. For a lot of us understanding that they are just BORN this way and not CHOOSING to be this way is a major hurdle. I am not sure your mom is past that hurdle. I am concerned that your mom is fine letting a 9yo go and live full time with a 19yo. It just seems that it would be too much responsibility to place on ANY 19yo, even one as level-headed as yourself. I know you have had a large role in raising your sister. Esp as your mom is a single parent, I know she had to really rely on you. So you are probably MUCH more mature than most people your age. Is your mom willing to take your sister for any testing to figure out what is really going on? To have her put on medication again to see if that will help her? To ask the school for an IEP for her? Would she fight you if YOU typed up the letters and worked with the school and docs to get these things done? You really DO have to focus on your life. Be a mentor, take some of the weight off your mom. Even research whatever medications and diagnosis the doctors suggest KD may have. Type up letters for your mom to sign to get more help in school for KD, that kind of thing. But you are at a point in your young life where you need to focus on YOUR education and life. If you need to have your sis come live with you in a few years, that is one thing. But 19 is just so very very young. And you have so much to do with college etc.... by the way, how does your fiance feel about all of the stuff with KD? IS he willing to help? To have her live with you? If he is not on the same page that alone could spell disaster. Just so you know, having a child with this kind of difficulties often tears a relationship apart. The last time I heard stats about it, most marriages ended within 7 years of a child getting a serious mental health diagnosis. That is pretty scary as you are just heading into a relationship. Take things slow with taking responsiblity for your sister. Help out for now. When you are on more solid footing with your OWN life, then if you need to raise your sister you would be in a better position to do so. Make SURE, if you take your sister in, that your mom will still cover insurance, medical stuff, etc... This can be extremely expensive, and you MUSt discuss it ahead of time with your mom. You really are a wonderful daughter and sister. Your mom must be very proud of you. I know I am proud just to know you. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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