Thanks, WO! To me, I just read these legal people as starting to see that difficult child has issues and they don't want to punish him and forget about his issues. That is good- I advocated hard for that. But, I don't think they have gotten past the point of looking for someone to blame and accepting that maybe it's an illness, or if nothing else, he needs some help and it isn't getting anywhere to constantly point fingers and focus on others just because you can't bring yourself to punish a child who has these kinds of issues- jumping from suicidal to aggressiveness. See, that is what I struggle with at home- the question of whether or not to turn him in over every little thing when I know how self-destructive he is, versus where to draw a line and make sure he lives with some consequences. I don't think the legal people are there yet. They (even the CA) didn't want him to go to detention. But to point the finger at me, when I have gone thru their scrutiny and dss check before and was cleared, was absurd, to me.
And I simply refuse to let them turn me into a mom who will go into court and talk like my son is a monster, just to defend myself. He isn't a monster. But, he needs help that I can't give him. They want to jump all over the p[lace just to avoid the cost of it. I can't believe that the gal really buys the idea that the sd has no problems, so it's a mom problem. The sd doesn't want to pay for the educational part of Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Period. They don't want to do a complete evaluation on difficult child or keep him on an iep- that's why they are saying they have no problem. Plus- difficult child was not a behavioral problem the past 18 mos- but he was only there about 50 days out of 100 and he still had academic needs that had to be supported.
difficult child has had his moments where he has told me that he wouldn't have done what he did if I didn't have issues. Sometimes he says that he doesn't need his medications, I need them. Ok, I understand his frustration with it all, and I know that I'm not perfect. difficult child has sat in a waiting room for me while I see a therapist for my own issues, and he knows that. But to sit in a court and have people say that he could come home but the mother should have a psychiatric evaluation after the kid pulled a knife on me (for the second time) just blows me away. What kind of message does that send to him? And they want to send him home so they can send a therapist over here to teach me how to hold hiim accountable. Are they insane or are they that much in denial? Is there any therapist worth his salt that wouldn't tell me if difficult child pulled a knife on me, call 911? And that is what I did- so what is another therapist going to tell me?
My therapist recommended to me that difficult child go to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) so that 1) he had consequences for pulling a knife on me by being away from home in a secure environment for a while, 2) he got his needed mental health care, 3) he earned his way thru the levels to earn his way back home, 4) we worked on family therapy while he's out of the home so I didn't have to worry about his explosions during the process, 5) he would have more time with a psychiatrist and quickest medication stabilization. I cried when she told me this, but I had to accept it after the psychiatric hospital told me this was the best chance for stabilization and rehabilitation
These people here just have not caught up with reality. What would have happened to me if difficult child had punched me in the nose- I'm not a male trained staff person. Do they stop to think what kind of shape my house is in when he punches walls- which are typical residential drywall walls instead of concrete block? Do they stop and think of what it does to me emotionally when it's MY SON mutilating himself, instead of another "patient"?
But they are going to blow off anything I have to say- I am supposed to respect these people and do what they say- or else.