I just heard from Stepto2

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
OMG. That's awful. I am so sorry.
Way To Go, Onyx! She is learning, the hard way, about how our justice system works. There may be a career here for her ...
Best of luck with-calling a higher level court, and with-the TV station. This whole thing is very bad. I am so sorry.
 
M

ML

Guest
All I can say is that I am so sorry your family is enduring this insanity. Great big hugs xoxo ML
 

AnnieO

Shooting from the Hip
Oh, it gets better - husband has filed a complaint against this judge. Not surprisingly, it went poof.

Onyxx and I talked to Jett tonight over dinner and made sure he understands that it isn't his fault. If it is anyone's, it's the judge's. Jett piped up, "And Mommy's too, right?"

How could I argue? Dang, the kid's not stupid. Which is good.

I am waiting till tomorrow to call the news. Onyxx and I decided that it would be best to have all our ducks in a row before we strike.

father in law is filing more complaints himself, against her lawyer (who was one of his ex's lawyers - hmm) and the judge.

My parents are working on 2 separate civil suits - batcave and the county.

I have the 800 numbers to Columbus and will call them tomorrow too.

With well over 2,000 pages of documentation on this... I should be able to get a reporter to at least look into it!

I am really proud of Onyxx too. She's gotten really mature just in the last little bit.
 

Mattsmom277

Active Member
Wow. I should not be shocked as things like this occur far too often. But it still shocks me, the nerve of those with "power" to wield it like a weapon makes me sick!!!

I wish you all the best. I'm so sorry your family is going through this. I can only imagine what is in your husband's head tonight. Big hugs to those kids who don't deserve to be going through all of this. Bat and batcave seem a good reference :( :( :(

Be strong. Those children KNOW that your husband and yourself are in THEIR corner. And this shall past. Thankfully children grow to adults, and then their bio mom can no longer manipulate the children this way. Her time is coming. Her loss. Those kids know where love lives in their lives. Regardless of this mess, you are a lovely family and those children are lucky to have you both.

(((hugs))) I hope that someone in the position to actually fix this mess, listens when you reach out to them.
 

mstang67chic

Going Green
It just occured to me to ask this....is the judge making Onyxx go to visits? Seems like if he jailed husband, then he would ORDER her to go. If not, then why the #$%*((&& is that man in jail???
 

susiestar

Roll With It
I am still flabbergasted by this. I think calling the 800 number is an excellent idea. I hope the judge loses his position AND has to pay damages to husband and his parents and you and the kids.

You also might contact your state representatives. If you can find out if the judge is Republican or Democrat you might get the opposing party to help you.
 

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
I'm guessing if judge put husband in jail..............Onyxx is still required/court ordered to visit BM. Otherwise it would be a moot point.

And it just dawned on me how fitting those initials ( BM ) are for her. lmao
 

graceupongrace

New Member
Awwww, Step, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I hate that the kids are put in this position, but it sounds as if they're handling it well. Hope you had a chance to do something calming tonight -- bubble bath, glass of wine, long walk, whatever works.

Hope you can appeal this. :faint:

(((Hugs!)))
 

Marguerite

Active Member
Go carefully, StepTo2, but stay strong and firm. Never forget that the bottom line for the media, is entertainment. Also, rivalry with opposing networks. So if one program gets the story from you guys, be ready for BM to get to tell her side of the story to a rival network. YOu will need to be strong enoguhto stand up to this.

Also remember - the TV station will of course say, "And we'll be following this story and let you all know what eventuates" but in fact they rarely do.

Your aim in this, I gather, is to put the glare of publicity onto this judge and hopefully force him to recuse himself. Or force an investigation form higher up. IS there no way you can appeal to a higher court over this judge's failure to recuse himself? The guy has to be answerable to SOMEBODY...

I'm wondering if BM is throwing her weight around likeshe does and behaving the way she does because she isconfident that the legal system will give her exactly whatshe asks for, because she has "connections". In which case - going way over their heads to appeal and ask for an independent review (if such a thing is possible) may be all you can do.

I don't know your legal system, I would be concerned that going to the media could backfire on you. Contempt of court sort of thing. Does your legal representation know what you intend? On side?

As you said, you need to get all your ducks in a row. Once you have that - go for it! But whatever you start, if it starts to get rough - you need to be strong and hold fast. It can be a bumpy ride but if you can hang on then you can win in the end.

Marg
 

busywend

Well-Known Member
Just remember the media is to hear about the judge and the legal system. They do not need to bash the BM. THAT would come back to haunt you. So, give them as little detail of the abuse as possible. Focus on the court and the judge.

That is my advice.

I am so sorry that you are having to go through such a horrible ordeal.

HUGS!
 

AnnieO

Shooting from the Hip
Wow, this is amazing... I have kept husband from going to the media for several years now... And you all have put into words what I couldn't, why I didn't want to do this to the kids.

But now it is the kids who want to do this. Onyxx, really - and due to the developmental issues, I really don't think Jett is even going to notice. It won't be any worse for him than his life has been so far.

I'm working the human-interest-kids-get-******-by-the-system angle. (I put in asterisks because I can't find a word the censor won't remove! LOL)

I figure we grab the reporter's attention with the abuse - well, Onyxx will do that part - I will focus on the legalities, what has happened and why according to the legal documentation I have (her denying husband visits "due to hard feelings because he was behind on child support", him going to jail because the kids refused to visit her, the other **** that has been put into court orders and has happened). Onyxx can tell her story. I won't censor her. She can say whatever she needs to - because coming from a woman, abuse is a story, coming from a KID - wow.

I will also ask if there are other families that have been hurt by this judge. Perhaps if there are enough...

As for being careful... yes. When the lawyer came back in sans husband yesterday, Onyxx looked at him and said, "Hello, Fox 45". The lawyer laughed and said "Just give me a heads up before it airs."

Lawyer is really, really ANGRY about the situation. He's a really good guy. Onyxx has been intimidated by him for several years - when he told he she did good, and we got ready to leave, she told him he needed a hug. Onyxx does not hug just anyone.

But you know what? Let the batcave tell her story. Let her explain that her boyfriend molested her daughter and was arrested for it. Let her explain all the police reports where she was told to stop harassing husband. Let her explain her arrests. husband has still never been arrested for anything. Let her explain how and why her infant child died - when it is backed up by the coroner's report (she says SIDS, coroner says asphyxiation due to co-sleeping with an adult - HER). Let her explain her explosions in public. Let her explain.

Jett is not sure if he is going to the batcave tonight. I am going to request a peace officer be present during pickup. I am also going to ask him to tell her that I expect the return to be ON TIME unlike normal. Maybe I can just have him stand there while I say it. Lawyer says she can't keep Jett (or Onyxx, who won't go anyway) while husband is in jail. Also then if Jett says he's not going, I have documentation.
 

mstang67chic

Going Green
Since this group is for parents, we don't really have the smiley that I want so....



:warrior: + :nails: = Onyxx


(And the font? It's called Impact. Because she WILL have an impact!)

Hugs to you all.
 

DaisyFace

Love me...Love me not
Step--

I am truly at a loss for words over this whole situation....

I am wishing and crossing fingers and toes for you and your family. Good luck!

--DaisyF
 

klmno

Active Member
Juvenile & Domestic Relations cases are rarely appealled and won here and appeals are frowned upon UNLESS the judge made a mistake. In your case, the judge's decision was a mistake AND he should have recused himself. I'm concerned that if you go to the media, report to higher courts, etc, someone is going to say "if you really have evidence of this, why didn't you appeal" and I'm surprised that the attny is not pursuing this already. I don't doubt that you are telling the truth and I know it won't undo the fact that husband has spent this time in jail, but it would get things documented in a higher court, by a "higher ranking"" judge. Those things (bad decisions by judges) are looked at when considering a judge for placement in a higher court- at least here.
 

AnnieO

Shooting from the Hip
I am truly at a loss for words over this whole situation....

I'm not at a loss for words, but the site censor and my own brain makes them look like a bunch of stars.

I'm still riding the "in charge" high. Thank goodness. As long as I have something to do I will be OK. I did start to get a bit weepy a little while ago but I called my Mom. Mom, Dad and popsicles will fix anything.

Juvenile & Domestic Relations cases are rarely appealled and won here and appeals are frowned upon UNLESS the judge made a mistake. In your case, the judge's decision was a mistake AND he should have recused himself. I'm concerned that if you go to the media, report to higher courts, etc, someone is going to say "if you really have evidence of this, why didn't you appeal" and I'm surprised that the attny is not pursuing this already. I don't doubt that you are telling the truth and I know it won't undo the fact that husband has spent this time in jail, but it would get things documented in a higher court, by a "higher ranking"" judge. Those things (bad decisions by judges) are looked at when considering a judge for placement in a higher court- at least here.

We appealed a decision in 2005 and it was dismissed by the court saying husband didn't provide enough proof (only over 30 pages...sigh). Lawyer said we could appeal but it would be Friday before it even got a docket. In the same county (?!). So that's not worth it. The civil suit(s) and media ARE worth it.

And, oh, yes, it's going up the chain. If there are enough people he has done this to, perhaps we can get him removed from the bar. Or worse. Don't know though.
 
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mstang67chic

Going Green
Have you talked to a state representative or senator for your area? If any of the ones over your area of the state are big on family or stomping out corruption, that may be another route to look at also.
 

AnnieO

Shooting from the Hip
Have you talked to a state representative or senator for your area? If any of the ones over your area of the state are big on family or stomping out corruption, that may be another route to look at also.

Hmmmm... I don't know but I bet I can find out! Every little bit helps... ;)
 

Marg's Man

Member
I have a couple of points (if I'm not too late)

In the pix from the weekend Onyxx looked like she dresses in a "Goth" style. This would a conservative judge into not believing her, hence the bad outcome for husband. Keep this in mind.

This appearance will go against her on TV as well. Make sure they don't use her appearance against you or they could put a spin on matters that make you and husband as bad influences on her.

The media CAN be good for you or they can be bad.

Marg's Man
 
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