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I just want to whine...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 300678" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Sweetie, you did the alanon thing ages ago. But then you married another man with alcoholism. Do you see this pattern? </p><p></p><p>If you go to alanon and work with it, stick with it, use it to change YOU, and to help YOU cope with him, NOT as a way to get him to do or say anything. </p><p></p><p>This will be very helpful once you are free of this marriage then you can use what you learn in alanon to choose a healthier, more stable mate. </p><p></p><p>Nothing will change him unless/until he hits bottom AND doesn't like it. His bottom will NOT be the same for you, or husband or anyone else.</p><p></p><p>You CAN learn to handle him in a way that puts responsibility on HIM, not on you. </p><p></p><p>Just because you "did" alanon way back does NOT mean that a refresher course or other brush up on the principles and steps will not help. I get something new out of every meeting. </p><p></p><p>Many gentle hugs and prayers that everyone in your family (including stepdau and dogs) will be safe very very soon .</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 300678, member: 1233"] Sweetie, you did the alanon thing ages ago. But then you married another man with alcoholism. Do you see this pattern? If you go to alanon and work with it, stick with it, use it to change YOU, and to help YOU cope with him, NOT as a way to get him to do or say anything. This will be very helpful once you are free of this marriage then you can use what you learn in alanon to choose a healthier, more stable mate. Nothing will change him unless/until he hits bottom AND doesn't like it. His bottom will NOT be the same for you, or husband or anyone else. You CAN learn to handle him in a way that puts responsibility on HIM, not on you. Just because you "did" alanon way back does NOT mean that a refresher course or other brush up on the principles and steps will not help. I get something new out of every meeting. Many gentle hugs and prayers that everyone in your family (including stepdau and dogs) will be safe very very soon . [/QUOTE]
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