how difficult child will react. difficult child has always held anger toward his bio sister about their biological father. He thinks that he cared more about her than him and has many times told her that he doesn't understand how she can still care about him much less love him. I always have thought that difficult child needed anger management for this particular issue but he denies that he is angry about it. Well she is going to be 20 in March and difficult child will be 18 in Nov. She came by today to tell me that she has decided to try to find him. She said that it still hurts and upsets her. She said she still doesn't know what she will say to him IF she finds him --it will be spur of the moment. For those of you that don't remember any of my original posts--I was struggling with a lot of issues then. I had to morn him like he died because the man I knew did die. After our roll over he completely changed his life. He left when the kids where barely 3 and just turned 2. After the divorce was final he disappeared . He never has written or called much less provide for them in any form. I had told their grandmother and aunt that they could see the kids but not to bring him up at all. They did that for awhile but then several years ago they made comments in front of the kids that made me mad so now they don't see them. Even now that they have their own phones and websites and all they still hardly ever contact them. My daughter asked her grandmother to help her find him but she lied to her and told her she had not spoken to him in 10 years. My daughter is hurt that she lied. I have told my kids the truth about what happened. That he had his head cut open 10 inches in the car accident and after that he decided that he wanted to change. I don't know all the details as that I have not had any contact with him but it was brought to my attention years ago that he had a website that goes into detail about he had surgery and became a woman. When my kids were old enough I told them that but their grandmother and aunt still lie to them. Their grandmothers husband let it slip one time that I called that they had just spoken to him a few days before. I am worried that my daughter is going to find that he really didn't care about anybody but himself (I know that to an extent she already knows) but I do not want him/her/it to hurt my kids again. I am afraid that this will set difficult child off on a tailspin after he has been doing so well. Mostly I am worried that this will put more tension between my two children. How can I protect them? I don't know what I will do if any of them hurt my kids!