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Substance Abuse
I know I'm doing the right thing but I am BROKEN
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 736084" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Welcome</p><p></p><p>I'm so sorry for your pain and feeling of helplessness. I truly understand it and I have lived it. Like many of us here.</p><p></p><p>You have found a great place with many people that have walked this journey before you (and me) and they can give you guidelines to follow that can help you tremendously.</p><p></p><p>There is no quick fix. There is no easy way out. We all have enabled our children because that is what moms do. My son, like yours, would do good for 3-4 months and stay sober and then he'd go down the tubes again. It was so painful to watch.</p><p></p><p>What I did was find a therapist that specializes in addiction to help me navigate this and set up healthy boundaries for myself and also for my son. Some prefer to go to Alanon meetings. But whatever you decide, do something for yourself. For me, I wanted to focus on MY issue and how to resolve that rather than hearing others' stories which were often worse than mine. It brought me down farther. I was able to get others' opinions from this forum. </p><p></p><p>At times I thought my son was possessed by the Devil himself. His addiction was so strong and it had such a hold on him. He could not escape. I could not help him.</p><p></p><p>My son never understood that his life was a mess because of his choices. That is part of the addiction. They don't think they need help. How crazy is that?</p><p></p><p>I don't know if you are spiritual but I finally turned my son over to my higher power. I couldn't do it anymore. He always knew that we love him and will do anything for him as long as he stays on track. </p><p></p><p>He was never the type to couch surf or be homeless. He likes the finer things in life which actually worked in our favor. He would choose rehab over the streets every time but I didn't care how he got to rehab, just that he spent time sober always hoping THIS TIME it would make a difference.</p><p></p><p>We finally found hope in a long term faith based program. He is doing very well now and has been sober long enough to reflect back on the road he was taking. He sees older addicts and he doesn't want to be like them. He is so happy to be sober and he realizes how skewed his thinking has been. He will move home with us in November once he is done with the program. We are moving out of state due to my job transfer but this will be good for him too. I am very scared but I am hopeful and he has to work hard to earn our trust.</p><p></p><p>In the end I am glad that I got help for myself so I didn't lose my sanity through all of this. It is not selfish to do this. The change may have to start with you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 736084, member: 15032"] Welcome I'm so sorry for your pain and feeling of helplessness. I truly understand it and I have lived it. Like many of us here. You have found a great place with many people that have walked this journey before you (and me) and they can give you guidelines to follow that can help you tremendously. There is no quick fix. There is no easy way out. We all have enabled our children because that is what moms do. My son, like yours, would do good for 3-4 months and stay sober and then he'd go down the tubes again. It was so painful to watch. What I did was find a therapist that specializes in addiction to help me navigate this and set up healthy boundaries for myself and also for my son. Some prefer to go to Alanon meetings. But whatever you decide, do something for yourself. For me, I wanted to focus on MY issue and how to resolve that rather than hearing others' stories which were often worse than mine. It brought me down farther. I was able to get others' opinions from this forum. At times I thought my son was possessed by the Devil himself. His addiction was so strong and it had such a hold on him. He could not escape. I could not help him. My son never understood that his life was a mess because of his choices. That is part of the addiction. They don't think they need help. How crazy is that? I don't know if you are spiritual but I finally turned my son over to my higher power. I couldn't do it anymore. He always knew that we love him and will do anything for him as long as he stays on track. He was never the type to couch surf or be homeless. He likes the finer things in life which actually worked in our favor. He would choose rehab over the streets every time but I didn't care how he got to rehab, just that he spent time sober always hoping THIS TIME it would make a difference. We finally found hope in a long term faith based program. He is doing very well now and has been sober long enough to reflect back on the road he was taking. He sees older addicts and he doesn't want to be like them. He is so happy to be sober and he realizes how skewed his thinking has been. He will move home with us in November once he is done with the program. We are moving out of state due to my job transfer but this will be good for him too. I am very scared but I am hopeful and he has to work hard to earn our trust. In the end I am glad that I got help for myself so I didn't lose my sanity through all of this. It is not selfish to do this. The change may have to start with you. [/QUOTE]
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I know I'm doing the right thing but I am BROKEN
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