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I know this is a little thing
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<blockquote data-quote="Loving Abbey 2" data-source="post: 135180" data-attributes="member: 4845"><p>My Abbey is only 8, so you can take my advice with a grain of salt. When she starts to get frustrated I offer a hug. She accepts so long as I catch her soon enough, if she's already in meltdown she doesn't even hear me. But I give her a tight hug, and then she can tell me what's wrong in a calmer way and I can offer suggestions or ask if she needs help, and she is more likely to respond. It gets her to see that I am on her side-there to help her.</p><p> </p><p>There is this one thing that have learned though my current job, and it is that teenagers need as much attention, support, supervision and affection as a toddler. They may act like they don't but they do. I get wanting to help her to regulate her emotions and problem solve (we all want that!) because adulthood is not far off, but in a lot of ways she is still a kid. </p><p> </p><p>I agree that sitting down with her to talk about it at another time is a good idea. And the one thing that I always forget that is very helpful to remember is that difficult child's don't enjoy feeling the way that they do. She might be old enough to voice her own frustration with her reactions and may welcome a better way--when she's not in the moment. Maybe just saying that she needs help in a way other than "I need help". </p><p> </p><p>Good luck! I'm not looking forward to teen years!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Loving Abbey 2, post: 135180, member: 4845"] My Abbey is only 8, so you can take my advice with a grain of salt. When she starts to get frustrated I offer a hug. She accepts so long as I catch her soon enough, if she's already in meltdown she doesn't even hear me. But I give her a tight hug, and then she can tell me what's wrong in a calmer way and I can offer suggestions or ask if she needs help, and she is more likely to respond. It gets her to see that I am on her side-there to help her. There is this one thing that have learned though my current job, and it is that teenagers need as much attention, support, supervision and affection as a toddler. They may act like they don't but they do. I get wanting to help her to regulate her emotions and problem solve (we all want that!) because adulthood is not far off, but in a lot of ways she is still a kid. I agree that sitting down with her to talk about it at another time is a good idea. And the one thing that I always forget that is very helpful to remember is that difficult child's don't enjoy feeling the way that they do. She might be old enough to voice her own frustration with her reactions and may welcome a better way--when she's not in the moment. Maybe just saying that she needs help in a way other than "I need help". Good luck! I'm not looking forward to teen years! [/QUOTE]
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