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General Parenting
I Know We Shouldn't Compare, but...
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<blockquote data-quote="bran155" data-source="post: 243668"><p>Oh Daisy, </p><p></p><p>I so understand. I compare all of the time. Even though we shouldn't, how can we not??? I miss all of the things I will never get to do with my daughter. When I am out shopping and I see a mom and teenage girl together, laughing and picking out clothes it just tears my heart into pieces!!!! Or when I hear about someone else's child going to the prom or graduating HS, going off to college, it kills me because I know I will never get to experience those milestones with my daughter!!! It saddens me for her too, she will never experience those things either. It's as though we are mourning the child we thought we were going to have. I love the "Welcome to Holland" story, it is so fitting for us parents!!! </p><p></p><p>I am like you, reluctant to say who my daughter really is. When someone asks, I am afraid to say as I don't know what they witnessed my daughter doing or saying!!! Then I feel guilty for being ashamed. It's not even shame really. I am just so afraid to hear someone else say hurtful things about my baby, ya know? Then I feel the overwhelming need to justify her behaviors. I usually end up going into great detail about her illness because I would rather them feel sympathy for her than disgust!!! When in reality, why should I really care what other people think anyway?</p><p></p><p>I so get it!!!</p><p></p><p>Shawna <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="bran155, post: 243668"] Oh Daisy, I so understand. I compare all of the time. Even though we shouldn't, how can we not??? I miss all of the things I will never get to do with my daughter. When I am out shopping and I see a mom and teenage girl together, laughing and picking out clothes it just tears my heart into pieces!!!! Or when I hear about someone else's child going to the prom or graduating HS, going off to college, it kills me because I know I will never get to experience those milestones with my daughter!!! It saddens me for her too, she will never experience those things either. It's as though we are mourning the child we thought we were going to have. I love the "Welcome to Holland" story, it is so fitting for us parents!!! I am like you, reluctant to say who my daughter really is. When someone asks, I am afraid to say as I don't know what they witnessed my daughter doing or saying!!! Then I feel guilty for being ashamed. It's not even shame really. I am just so afraid to hear someone else say hurtful things about my baby, ya know? Then I feel the overwhelming need to justify her behaviors. I usually end up going into great detail about her illness because I would rather them feel sympathy for her than disgust!!! When in reality, why should I really care what other people think anyway? I so get it!!! Shawna :) [/QUOTE]
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I Know We Shouldn't Compare, but...
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