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I made him leave.
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 677592" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>If we can learn to see the things that happen with our Gift From God children as learning to parent them <em>in the way they require to be parented</em> Copa, then not only will we be able to survive what needs to happen next intact, but we can teach the kids to respect, and rely on, themselves.</p><p></p><p>That is what we are after, here.</p><p></p><p>Our sons (and daughters) as people of honor.</p><p></p><p>As it is, we have been teaching them they are beggars; victims.</p><p></p><p>Here is something else I know: Had your son behaved as a gentleman, had your son had a modicum of respect and a plan for his future, you would not have put him out. Your action took courage. It would have been easier to let him live there and take to your room again. </p><p></p><p>You did not do that, Copa.</p><p></p><p>You were strong.</p><p></p><p>Now, your son will learn to be strong. If he comes back, when he comes back, he will behave as a gentleman. And if he doesn't? It will be an easier thing for you to decide when your boundries have been breached and disallow it.</p><p></p><p>None of this is pretty, Copa.</p><p></p><p>You handled yourself well.</p><p></p><p>In this, you have given your son a chance. You both know how things would have progressed Copa, had you taken your son in, given his current attitude. </p><p></p><p>You made the correct choice.</p><p></p><p>There are a thousand bargaining positions open to you now that you did not have, before.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>I loved the piece about how to love ourselves, Copa. That was so beautiful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 677592, member: 17461"] If we can learn to see the things that happen with our Gift From God children as learning to parent them [I]in the way they require to be parented[/I] Copa, then not only will we be able to survive what needs to happen next intact, but we can teach the kids to respect, and rely on, themselves. That is what we are after, here. Our sons (and daughters) as people of honor. As it is, we have been teaching them they are beggars; victims. Here is something else I know: Had your son behaved as a gentleman, had your son had a modicum of respect and a plan for his future, you would not have put him out. Your action took courage. It would have been easier to let him live there and take to your room again. You did not do that, Copa. You were strong. Now, your son will learn to be strong. If he comes back, when he comes back, he will behave as a gentleman. And if he doesn't? It will be an easier thing for you to decide when your boundries have been breached and disallow it. None of this is pretty, Copa. You handled yourself well. In this, you have given your son a chance. You both know how things would have progressed Copa, had you taken your son in, given his current attitude. You made the correct choice. There are a thousand bargaining positions open to you now that you did not have, before. Cedar I loved the piece about how to love ourselves, Copa. That was so beautiful. [/QUOTE]
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