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I made him leave.
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 678213" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Have you spoken with your doctor regarding what is happening with your stomach, Copa? Like aspirin and ibuprofen, some SSRIs can irritate the mucus lining protecting the stomach. </p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>Your son's behavior does not define you, Copa.</p><p></p><p>That we turn our feelings against ourselves this way when bad things happen is an artifact of the way we were brought up. How hurtful for you that this is happening now. You are a fine and a very strong person. Really smart, too. </p><p></p><p>There are times when there is no answer to anything that is happening. If there were a solution Copa, you would have found it already. To have your grown man son blow his own chances and show up at your home in the outrageous middle of the night <em>and to have stood up to him ~ which you did, </em>is going to tumble you into that same old, hellishly familiar mindset. But you changed something this time, Copa. You didn't let him see you sweat it. As far as your son knows, you are strongly committed to the path you have laid out for him: To behave like the man he was raised to be.</p><p></p><p>You did good, Copa. You made something change. It will take time for your son to believe you. That's okay. You are in it for the long term. It was not helping him ~ nothing you did was helping him, the other way. With this new way of thinking and behaving Copa, he will have a chance. For sure, he has a chance now he would never have had if you had allowed him to move home and pick up where he left off.</p><p></p><p>So, in a way, if we look at it like that, you win.</p><p></p><p>You are winning, right now.</p><p></p><p>It just doesn't feel that way.</p><p></p><p>Your goal is to change your son's mindset. Remember that he took over for himself on his health care. That was a battle too Copa, but you did the right thing.</p><p></p><p>You can do this.</p><p></p><p>Your son is worth it.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 678213, member: 17461"] Have you spoken with your doctor regarding what is happening with your stomach, Copa? Like aspirin and ibuprofen, some SSRIs can irritate the mucus lining protecting the stomach. *** Your son's behavior does not define you, Copa. That we turn our feelings against ourselves this way when bad things happen is an artifact of the way we were brought up. How hurtful for you that this is happening now. You are a fine and a very strong person. Really smart, too. There are times when there is no answer to anything that is happening. If there were a solution Copa, you would have found it already. To have your grown man son blow his own chances and show up at your home in the outrageous middle of the night [I]and to have stood up to him ~ which you did, [/I]is going to tumble you into that same old, hellishly familiar mindset. But you changed something this time, Copa. You didn't let him see you sweat it. As far as your son knows, you are strongly committed to the path you have laid out for him: To behave like the man he was raised to be. You did good, Copa. You made something change. It will take time for your son to believe you. That's okay. You are in it for the long term. It was not helping him ~ nothing you did was helping him, the other way. With this new way of thinking and behaving Copa, he will have a chance. For sure, he has a chance now he would never have had if you had allowed him to move home and pick up where he left off. So, in a way, if we look at it like that, you win. You are winning, right now. It just doesn't feel that way. Your goal is to change your son's mindset. Remember that he took over for himself on his health care. That was a battle too Copa, but you did the right thing. You can do this. Your son is worth it. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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