Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
I may be getting too far out
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 289117" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Exactly, MWM! That's a big portion of what my therapist had to help me understand. And, that sommething had to be "Not quite right" with my mom. Her blame toward me and use of the possibility of therapy as a threat instead of a good thing only added to the trauma. Unfortunately, there are still many people out there, including difficult child's gal (which I find appalling) who still think the victim of sexual abuse is "damaged goods" that can never go on and have a good life or be a good partner, parent, etc. It doesn't mean that we can ever forget about it, but as Janet pointed out early, we can learn to manage things and have a real life.</p><p></p><p>I now honestly believe that my mom "threatened" therapy if "I didn't start acting normal" in order to make sure I found a way to "act normal" without therapy (which I did by self-medication until I went to therapy as a young adult) because she was very afraid of 1) having her butt get into trouble and 2) her issues being found out by a therapist.</p><p></p><p>I will never tell difficult child the details of what happenned to me and would never consider it appropriate, but he needs to understand the basic concept, someday, of dysfunctional families and that there was abuse in this family- in order to protect my grandchildren as well as his own emotional well-being. I KNOW it's only a mtter of time until my mom starts on him- ie "difficult child You are just like your mom" every time he doesn't fill her every emotional need or meet her approval or let her control everything he does in his life- which is impossible.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 289117, member: 3699"] Exactly, MWM! That's a big portion of what my therapist had to help me understand. And, that sommething had to be "Not quite right" with my mom. Her blame toward me and use of the possibility of therapy as a threat instead of a good thing only added to the trauma. Unfortunately, there are still many people out there, including difficult child's gal (which I find appalling) who still think the victim of sexual abuse is "damaged goods" that can never go on and have a good life or be a good partner, parent, etc. It doesn't mean that we can ever forget about it, but as Janet pointed out early, we can learn to manage things and have a real life. I now honestly believe that my mom "threatened" therapy if "I didn't start acting normal" in order to make sure I found a way to "act normal" without therapy (which I did by self-medication until I went to therapy as a young adult) because she was very afraid of 1) having her butt get into trouble and 2) her issues being found out by a therapist. I will never tell difficult child the details of what happenned to me and would never consider it appropriate, but he needs to understand the basic concept, someday, of dysfunctional families and that there was abuse in this family- in order to protect my grandchildren as well as his own emotional well-being. I KNOW it's only a mtter of time until my mom starts on him- ie "difficult child You are just like your mom" every time he doesn't fill her every emotional need or meet her approval or let her control everything he does in his life- which is impossible. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
I may be getting too far out
Top