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I messed up, fiance moved out and now I don't know what to do
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 499884" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Oh sweetie, time to bite the bullet with your daughter. Yes, she has struggled being a preemie and having all her learning / adhd challenges but she can understand mistakes. You will need to explain to her that you made a mistake, thought F was only allergic to cats and you need to take the ferret back to a home. Explain that risking a life is not a choice. You can find a way to visit and help at an animal rescue place. many need people to help socialize the cats/kittens etc. </p><p></p><p>then apologize to fiance. I dont know how you can explain this because unless you thought it was ONLY cats it doesn't make sense you would risk his life like that, unless... do you have impulse control issues too? Believe me, many of us understand that..either live with it or have kids with it. I am not being critical or saying it to make you feel badly, just trying to help sort it all out. We all make mistakes. this could have been deadly and I doubt that F could even risk staying to talk about this. Nearly dying is traumatic and I would run in fear too. </p><p></p><p>I wonder if this is the last straw in other issues where he thinks maybe you put your or her needs above him? It is something to ask him about. </p><p></p><p>I was able to get emergency funding (a one time emergency thing, covering my rent due to an emergency) through our county. Maybe check to see if there is anything like that. Is he on the lease? If so he still has to pay. </p><p></p><p>Search your heart sweetie. If you think you did this because you really dont want to be with him, answer that for your self. If it was just impulse control issues, admit it and fix the problem.</p><p></p><p>Start your job search tomorrow. You can enroll your daughter in a before school day care program, there are often programs right at the school where she is. If not, find a school friend, or neighbor with kids at the same school to care for her and put her on the bus with their kids.</p><p></p><p>many people do it, and another alternative will be to get a job in a related area but not that specific thing for now.</p><p></p><p>Hope you can sleep and work this out tomorrow. I am sorry for your pain and upset. Your daughter will get over it. I cried for years over a lost cat when I was little. crying does not mean it is ruining her life. It means she feels sad. and that is something to talk about and part of life. Not something to be soothed by buying things. </p><p></p><p>HUGS, really hoping this turns around for you. I know you feel badly, but you made a mistake. Be honest with yourself and figure out why you did it and then solve the problem which ever way it ends up. (I know, easier said than done especially when youre scared and heart broken)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 499884, member: 12886"] Oh sweetie, time to bite the bullet with your daughter. Yes, she has struggled being a preemie and having all her learning / adhd challenges but she can understand mistakes. You will need to explain to her that you made a mistake, thought F was only allergic to cats and you need to take the ferret back to a home. Explain that risking a life is not a choice. You can find a way to visit and help at an animal rescue place. many need people to help socialize the cats/kittens etc. then apologize to fiance. I dont know how you can explain this because unless you thought it was ONLY cats it doesn't make sense you would risk his life like that, unless... do you have impulse control issues too? Believe me, many of us understand that..either live with it or have kids with it. I am not being critical or saying it to make you feel badly, just trying to help sort it all out. We all make mistakes. this could have been deadly and I doubt that F could even risk staying to talk about this. Nearly dying is traumatic and I would run in fear too. I wonder if this is the last straw in other issues where he thinks maybe you put your or her needs above him? It is something to ask him about. I was able to get emergency funding (a one time emergency thing, covering my rent due to an emergency) through our county. Maybe check to see if there is anything like that. Is he on the lease? If so he still has to pay. Search your heart sweetie. If you think you did this because you really dont want to be with him, answer that for your self. If it was just impulse control issues, admit it and fix the problem. Start your job search tomorrow. You can enroll your daughter in a before school day care program, there are often programs right at the school where she is. If not, find a school friend, or neighbor with kids at the same school to care for her and put her on the bus with their kids. many people do it, and another alternative will be to get a job in a related area but not that specific thing for now. Hope you can sleep and work this out tomorrow. I am sorry for your pain and upset. Your daughter will get over it. I cried for years over a lost cat when I was little. crying does not mean it is ruining her life. It means she feels sad. and that is something to talk about and part of life. Not something to be soothed by buying things. HUGS, really hoping this turns around for you. I know you feel badly, but you made a mistake. Be honest with yourself and figure out why you did it and then solve the problem which ever way it ends up. (I know, easier said than done especially when youre scared and heart broken) [/QUOTE]
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I messed up, fiance moved out and now I don't know what to do
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