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General Parenting
I messed up, fiance moved out and now I don't know what to do
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 499929" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Sending hugs your way. Honestly (and I'm sorry to say so) I think your fiance protected himself and his health by leaving. Really think about what your choices were and how they impacted your family unit. All of us are dedicated to our children but in my humble opinion you weren't serving her best interests by having any animals in your home. Regardless of her age she needs to know that family respect each others needs.</p><p></p><p>If I were you and if I cared for my SO I would try to hook up with him and see if there is any chance of salvaging the relationship. The first thing I would say is "I am sorry. I was wrong." If there is still a connection between you then I'd add "Are you willing to give it another shot in our home with just the three of us and no pets?" It's possible he may agree. If not tell him "please accept my apology and my sincere best wishes that your future is wonderful because you are a good man."</p><p></p><p>Congrats on completing school. You now have an opportunity to get a job that you enjoy. Pull out a notebook and start making notes of the challenges you face. Then get on the phone and in the telephone book and on the internet and explore supports in your community. My most important suggestion is "do not let your daughter share your adult concerns". I was single for six years and it is easy to forget that children are children when you are in crisis. She does not need to feel fear or any responsibility or even compassion for you. You are the Mom. You will make sure she is safe. You will love her every day of her life. That consistent reassurance is the most important thing right now. If the animals have to go then assure her they will be getting wonderful homes and when she's older perhaps she can have pets again. Best of luck. You can do it. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 499929, member: 35"] Sending hugs your way. Honestly (and I'm sorry to say so) I think your fiance protected himself and his health by leaving. Really think about what your choices were and how they impacted your family unit. All of us are dedicated to our children but in my humble opinion you weren't serving her best interests by having any animals in your home. Regardless of her age she needs to know that family respect each others needs. If I were you and if I cared for my SO I would try to hook up with him and see if there is any chance of salvaging the relationship. The first thing I would say is "I am sorry. I was wrong." If there is still a connection between you then I'd add "Are you willing to give it another shot in our home with just the three of us and no pets?" It's possible he may agree. If not tell him "please accept my apology and my sincere best wishes that your future is wonderful because you are a good man." Congrats on completing school. You now have an opportunity to get a job that you enjoy. Pull out a notebook and start making notes of the challenges you face. Then get on the phone and in the telephone book and on the internet and explore supports in your community. My most important suggestion is "do not let your daughter share your adult concerns". I was single for six years and it is easy to forget that children are children when you are in crisis. She does not need to feel fear or any responsibility or even compassion for you. You are the Mom. You will make sure she is safe. You will love her every day of her life. That consistent reassurance is the most important thing right now. If the animals have to go then assure her they will be getting wonderful homes and when she's older perhaps she can have pets again. Best of luck. You can do it. DDD [/QUOTE]
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I messed up, fiance moved out and now I don't know what to do
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