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I met intern psychiatric (therapist)
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 182343" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Thanks, all! It helps to hear how others have handled this.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Well, here is where I think things have gone awry in the past- and I'm sure a lot of it is terminology. According to both psychiatrists involved (regular and the one I've used as a consultant), we are supposed to have one therapist to work with difficult child and deal with family issues both. Twice, I have tried this having two tdocs and everyone involved frowned upon it. Since they weren't helping anymore than anyone else, I have given up on that approach.</p><p></p><p>The terminology part- ok, some people refer to it as family therapy- which makes me visualize us working on our relationship, like getting along better. But, what is described (and I agree is needed), is the same type of therapy that I hear others descsribe when they have larger families than ours. Which includes, how to cope at home with rages, how to manage difficult child better, some working on our relationship, therapist being involved in IEP if needed, etc. I have discussed the possibility of me having a separate therapist just for myself that difficult child doesn't see, but I have been told by several profs that it needs to be someone who also communicates with and knows difficult child. Now, if my anxiety or worry interferes with my ability to deal with difficult child issues, then I would need a separate therapist. But right now, the focus is on one who is going to help him individually and help us as a "family" (even though we are only 2 people) in a way that helps me maintain and supports his treatment goals.</p><p></p><p>Sooooo, the only part about that that confuses me, is the part about how to accomplish that if the therapist never sees anyone in the "family" alone except for difficult child. Think about it- when difficult child is in the psychiatric hospital, he has a psychiatrist there assigned to him. It is his psychiatrist, not mine, BUT, psychiatrist and parent do talk alone on occassion.</p><p></p><p>This is probably something I just need to discuss with this new guy again. He said there was usually only a problem with this approach when it's a young teenager because they are so sensitive at that age about therapist and parent discussing them without them around. I understand that, completely. It sounded like we might be able to find some compromise solution. I don't think I would need to talk to therapist individually on most occassions.</p><p></p><p>The issue with the courts- they might not have to turn over notes, but I was court ordered to sign release forms (which I didn't even know the judge could legally order me to do). Since the GAL called every prof involved and started talking about more than just getting updates on difficult child (which I specifically wrote on the release forms), and PO will be calling now, I'm just a little cautious about making sure tdocs/psychiatrist know that I think they should have limits on what they are discussing with others.</p><p></p><p>The way people here (our jurisdiction) make assumptions is unbelievable. psychiatrist had recommended in home help for me last year and GAL assumed that meant MST (since that is all our jurisdiction offers- however- psychiatrist doesn't work in our jurisdiction and probably had no idea of that)- so GAL asks judge to order MST, and it was ordered. Now, had psychiatrist discussed this with me first, or GAL checked/verified, etc., it could have saved me about $1000, and a couple of days off work, but instead, I took it back to court to get the order changed. This is only one example of why I'm gun shy about them. (I should clarify- this MST guy was not here to do anything other than put difficult child on a behavioral contract and get everyone in his life to buy into it, and it is their policy to discourage any other treatment for the kid going through this. That didn't exactly encompass the recommended treatment for him, which is what I had to show in court to get the order changed.)</p><p></p><p>I know how therapist means it when he says "well maybe such and such could help". But I've seen first hand how that goes through attny., PO, etc and the judge ends up ordering whatever the attny's have interpreted this to mean.</p><p></p><p>FOP- fortunately, difficult child isn't defiant with tdocs/psychiatrist. He is extremely sself-conscious and has a hard time "spilling his guts" with them, although he is much better with psychiatrist because he's been seeing the same one for 2 1/2 years. He normally confides in me (if he confides in anyone about something) so the times I'm in there with him help prompt him to open up. This gets better after time and he loosens up more.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 182343, member: 3699"] Thanks, all! It helps to hear how others have handled this. Well, here is where I think things have gone awry in the past- and I'm sure a lot of it is terminology. According to both psychiatrists involved (regular and the one I've used as a consultant), we are supposed to have one therapist to work with difficult child and deal with family issues both. Twice, I have tried this having two tdocs and everyone involved frowned upon it. Since they weren't helping anymore than anyone else, I have given up on that approach. The terminology part- ok, some people refer to it as family therapy- which makes me visualize us working on our relationship, like getting along better. But, what is described (and I agree is needed), is the same type of therapy that I hear others descsribe when they have larger families than ours. Which includes, how to cope at home with rages, how to manage difficult child better, some working on our relationship, therapist being involved in IEP if needed, etc. I have discussed the possibility of me having a separate therapist just for myself that difficult child doesn't see, but I have been told by several profs that it needs to be someone who also communicates with and knows difficult child. Now, if my anxiety or worry interferes with my ability to deal with difficult child issues, then I would need a separate therapist. But right now, the focus is on one who is going to help him individually and help us as a "family" (even though we are only 2 people) in a way that helps me maintain and supports his treatment goals. Sooooo, the only part about that that confuses me, is the part about how to accomplish that if the therapist never sees anyone in the "family" alone except for difficult child. Think about it- when difficult child is in the psychiatric hospital, he has a psychiatrist there assigned to him. It is his psychiatrist, not mine, BUT, psychiatrist and parent do talk alone on occassion. This is probably something I just need to discuss with this new guy again. He said there was usually only a problem with this approach when it's a young teenager because they are so sensitive at that age about therapist and parent discussing them without them around. I understand that, completely. It sounded like we might be able to find some compromise solution. I don't think I would need to talk to therapist individually on most occassions. The issue with the courts- they might not have to turn over notes, but I was court ordered to sign release forms (which I didn't even know the judge could legally order me to do). Since the GAL called every prof involved and started talking about more than just getting updates on difficult child (which I specifically wrote on the release forms), and PO will be calling now, I'm just a little cautious about making sure tdocs/psychiatrist know that I think they should have limits on what they are discussing with others. The way people here (our jurisdiction) make assumptions is unbelievable. psychiatrist had recommended in home help for me last year and GAL assumed that meant MST (since that is all our jurisdiction offers- however- psychiatrist doesn't work in our jurisdiction and probably had no idea of that)- so GAL asks judge to order MST, and it was ordered. Now, had psychiatrist discussed this with me first, or GAL checked/verified, etc., it could have saved me about $1000, and a couple of days off work, but instead, I took it back to court to get the order changed. This is only one example of why I'm gun shy about them. (I should clarify- this MST guy was not here to do anything other than put difficult child on a behavioral contract and get everyone in his life to buy into it, and it is their policy to discourage any other treatment for the kid going through this. That didn't exactly encompass the recommended treatment for him, which is what I had to show in court to get the order changed.) I know how therapist means it when he says "well maybe such and such could help". But I've seen first hand how that goes through attny., PO, etc and the judge ends up ordering whatever the attny's have interpreted this to mean. FOP- fortunately, difficult child isn't defiant with tdocs/psychiatrist. He is extremely sself-conscious and has a hard time "spilling his guts" with them, although he is much better with psychiatrist because he's been seeing the same one for 2 1/2 years. He normally confides in me (if he confides in anyone about something) so the times I'm in there with him help prompt him to open up. This gets better after time and he loosens up more. [/QUOTE]
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