i know detatch yet i miss her it's that simple, easy child that is. each day i wake up and say ok she isnt' here. i try not to get too wrapped up in my thoughts, haven't cried in two days so that's much better. yet difficult child are feeling it bigtime. our home is so quiet besides our nutty dogs. monday's and wednesday's are always filled with laughter, kids arguing, smiling faces etc. i have all my kids here than (step kids) yet tuesday night we normally do dinner with-easy child. difficult child and i ate alone and she said ok i miss easy child. i said me too baby. i knew thursday thru monday would be a hard haul for us. husband is working each night, house is quiet, my emotions bounce all over regarding it. i'm more irritable now. i can blame it on a million things yet i'm out of wack due to it. it's that simple, be it right or wrong. last sunday her and i would normally go find take out, than head to bakery than go home and eat together. this sunday difficult child was gone and i did the same yet without easy child and it didn't sting yet i missed her so much. i'm also really worried about her, she isnt' attending therapy as she said she would, she's making some really bad choices, and she's 17. i have that hole kid left home syndrome yet its more complicated i guess due to the way she left home. it really does feel like a void inside of me. i keep waiting each day till it feels better, goes away a little i feel more at ease with it. whether it right or wrong detatching from her is hard. really hard. alot of times husband will come home now and leave door open for her i have to remind him to lock it, we just keep doign things forgetting she isnt' here. i don't know why i posted this i guess to vent. i've been doing alot of that lately. the other junk doesnt' even really matter, i've always handled difficult child everything just feels more magnified now due to this. everything.