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I need advice/direction/help starting a difficult conversation.
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 363540" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Shari, I'm sorry to be late on this but my instinct is to approach this as a couple issue. </p><p>I would start with "honey, I am really embarassed with our home. Can you help me figure out a way that <em>we</em> could get things in order? We can't live like this and feel proud of our home. What can we do?" </p><p></p><p>I'm a fan of everything in a specific place. I hate not finding things. Car keys, shoes etc. </p><p>Anyhow, treating him like an adult and incorporating him into the solution always gets me more traction than waiting until I blow and everyone scatters. </p><p>Now my husband is very messy and absentminded as is difficult child. I over look a lot of it but I won't have clutter or mess. A lot of stuff husband wants and difficult child's things are put away in storage or put away in the attic or the back of the garage. We go to the dump frequently and the charity clothing box. </p><p>I knew my husband was scattered in his housekeeping, which is a kind way of saying he is messy so I try to understand that it's a learning process for him and difficult child. I haven't made a lot of progress but he does pitch in when I'm overwhelmed. </p><p>Good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 363540, member: 3"] Shari, I'm sorry to be late on this but my instinct is to approach this as a couple issue. I would start with "honey, I am really embarassed with our home. Can you help me figure out a way that [I]we[/I] could get things in order? We can't live like this and feel proud of our home. What can we do?" I'm a fan of everything in a specific place. I hate not finding things. Car keys, shoes etc. Anyhow, treating him like an adult and incorporating him into the solution always gets me more traction than waiting until I blow and everyone scatters. Now my husband is very messy and absentminded as is difficult child. I over look a lot of it but I won't have clutter or mess. A lot of stuff husband wants and difficult child's things are put away in storage or put away in the attic or the back of the garage. We go to the dump frequently and the charity clothing box. I knew my husband was scattered in his housekeeping, which is a kind way of saying he is messy so I try to understand that it's a learning process for him and difficult child. I haven't made a lot of progress but he does pitch in when I'm overwhelmed. Good luck. [/QUOTE]
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