I need advice, life is so F'd up right now -HELP!!!!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by DammitJanet, Mar 20, 2014.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Okay, I havent been on in over a week because life became awful then Jamie came down with his entire family and as soon as they left I came down with the flu. I needed to get on here to get support and ask these questions but I couldnt get out of bed. Today is the first day I have been able to move.

    Anyway, I am pretty sure everyone knows about the issue with the car I bought in August where the dealer flat out lied to my face and in writing. I am in the process of getting ready to sue them. I have followed all the procedures I have found online and even went to get the paperwork to fill out when something else happened that may put my lawsuit completely off the table. I dont know. Would love it if anyone here who is a lawyer can read this and figure out where I stand.

    Okay, last week - Thursday - I found out that Cory had stolen this car on Monday of last week. This is awful and could actually cost me thousands of dollars. As you can imagine I am furious and this is it for me, I want nothing more to do with him in this lifetime. I am writing him out of my will, dont want him anywhere near me when I die and I dont want to be notified if anything happens to him. I am also intending on pressing charges. Reason I havent yet is being so sick plus I need the names of the people who helped him. I want them all to go down.

    Here is how it happened. Evidently Cory must have been thinking about this for a few weeks because we have been completely in this house since 2/27. I havent been back in the house since that day. Somehow Cory stole my key to that car which I had kept in a zippered pocket in my purse and I checked it pretty much daily. However what he did was swap out the key to my car with an identical key to another Pacifica that a friend of his owns. I would have never guessed that could happen. When he was caught stealing the car he told Billy he had found a spare key in my glove box. I knew that was a lie but figured he had somehow managed to convince someone to make him a key. How I didnt know. We figured out that he had switched the keys when he gave the key back to Tony but Tony tried to use the key on my keychain on my car and it didnt work. When we tried the key that Cory gave up, it did work. We know what happened.

    So, the actual problem with the car. Billy called us on Saturday afternoon and told us Cory was at the house but the car wasnt. Tony and Jamie rushed over to yank his sorry behind up and demanded the car. We were actually hoping it was at the person's house who Cory had been letting drive it so we would get a name and address but oh no, it was even worse. My car was dead on the side of the road in SC. Tony and Jamie had to take him with them to go get it and they managed to tow it back to my rental.
    THE CAR DOESNT RUN!!!!! At all. Now before this it had just been cutting off on me if I drove it for a couple of miles so I never took it out but I did start it in my yard about once a week. When Tony got the car to the house he checked it out and there was absolutely no oil or water in the engine. Tony added oil and water but it still wont start. Now I am so ticked off because Cory knew from September when it stopped working for me that we werent driving it. He kept trying to tell me that he had been told by the guy he knows who has the other Pacifica that the reason it cut off on me was it needed water. I told him I didnt trust anyone who wasnt a mechanic to diagnose my car. Obviously I was right.

    However now I dont know what to do. Jamie says that if I report the car stolen to my insurance company I will completely blow my lawsuit even though what I am suing about is fraud. However if I dont report it as stolen I cant get it fixed because I am sure he has blown the engine. Also if I dont report it stolen I cant put legal charges against Cory that I think he grandly deserves. I want him, and his cohorts, in prison for a very long time.

    I think I should be able to go through my insurance company and get them to help me with filing the theft charges because I do have full coverage on it. Thank heavens I didnt do what I was thinking of doing this month and removing it from my insurance!

    Seriously, Cory can only think about what he wants. He is a total psychopath. If he could make a couple of hundred bucks to feed his habit who gives a damn if it cost us well over $15K.

    I dont even know who this person is anymore. He is nothing more than a no good crack addict and I wont stand for that in my life. Oh and I also plan on reporting both him and Mandy to CPS. Mandy smokes well over 2 pounds of pot a month and who knows what Cory is on. Neither one of them are fit to raise a child. I cant tell Tony I am calling them though.

    The one thing I am worried about if Cory goes to prison is that Keyana's social security may stop and that would be bad. She just started getting it. To be honest it would be better if Cory simply died. I know that sounds bad. When Jamie was here I told him to be prepared for that because I didnt expect him to live many more years. What really hurts me is Jamie thinks I have always loved Cory more than either him or Billy and that is simply not true. Jamie was my little buddy until he hit puberty when he had no more use for me and became his father's shadow. I did have to have more to do with Cory because Cory couldnt do the things Jamie did. Cory had to be under constant supervision.

    Im telling you, I should have just had dogs. If one went rabid or had intolerable behaviors you just had it put to sleep. You cant do that with humans.

    So, what do you guys think? Can I do both of these things? I would say I would just sue Cory for what I cant sue the dealer for but that would be a moot point. He will never have anything. Now I could possibly take out life insurance on him and get that but that really does me no good with the need for a car now.

    I mean seriously, he damaged our one working truck the last ice storm by stealing it in the middle of the night and putting it in a ditch. I cant get that fixed through insurance because I only have liability on it.

    Im so confused. I have to punish him and his friends. I have Tony trying to get me the last names of the other two guys...I know first names. Honestly, I never dreamed Cory could get access to the Pacifica because I had it locked and...it didnt run! I also knew I had the one and only key I was given when I bought the car. Sigh....
     
  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I've been trying to call you for a few weeks. Has your phone been disconnected? Call me and let's see if we can figure any of this out.
     
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Hugs, Janet. I'm 100% sure that you won't agree with my advise, lol, BUT it comes from my head and my heart. Sadly you are dealing with addicts and addicts do not play "by the rules"...and neither do their friends. Logical consequences do not work.

    My advice is to review Detachment I, II and III. Stay away from him. You have a chance for a new fresh start with Tony and it will not be happy if you carry the anger and worry of C on your back. Chances are your health will go back down the tube and remember you were completely miserable when you ended up in the hospital before. It is NOT worth it. It's time to "Let Go Let God". It's time for the Serenity Prayer.

    Meanwhile I will keep you and yours in my thoughts. I will say an extra prayer for Billy because he's caught in the middle of the mayhem. Hugs DDD
     
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  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think there is not much to save the lawsuit. Out of oil is dead motor. I am sorry you have to deal with this stuff. It isn't right.

    sent from mobile phone
     
  5. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    PS - I totally "get it".
     
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Witz, I have had to shut my phone off because of money. We all know why.
     
  7. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I don't understand how anyone driving that POS would affect the outcome since it never worked and they had no business selling you that. I am so glad you are out of that house Janet. I really hope CPS takes that baby away before she gets hurt. I know you are so hurt and angry, I am angry for you. Turn everyone in if you can, maybe you'll save Corey's life. All this is too toxic for you, don't share this with Tony, just with us, Tony is blind. Do what you have to do, you know we're here for you.
     
  8. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I don't understand how anyone driving that POS would affect the outcome since it never worked and they had no business selling you that. I am so glad you are out of that house Janet. I really hope CPS takes that baby away before she gets hurt. I know you are so hurt and angry, I am angry for you. Turn everyone in if you can, maybe you'll save Corey's life. All this is too toxic for you, don't share this with Tony, just with us, Tony is blind. Do what you have to do, you know we're here for you.
     
  9. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I don't understand how anyone driving that POS would affect the outcome since it never worked and they had no business selling you that. I am so glad you are out of that house Janet. I really hope CPS takes that baby away before she gets hurt. I know you are so hurt and angry, I am angry for you. Turn everyone in if you can, maybe you'll save Corey's life. All this is too toxic for you, don't share this with Tony, just with us, Tony is blind. Do what you have to do, you know we're here for you.
     
  10. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry Janet. I don't have any practical advise. I do believe whatever choice you make, you must detach from Corey and his shenanigans. As DDD wisely said, this is a chance for you and Tony. Take it. Leave all of it behind, make a fresh start together. Sending a prayer and a hug. I am sorry you are going through this.
     
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry, Janet. I, too, worry about your health and this toxic environment.
    Easier said than done, but I would definitely go the detachment route. Done, over with, forever.
    I agree with-others about the car, and you had a hunch that the case would be damaged since the engine was shot anyway. I think you just have to write it off. I know it makes you heartsick. And, on top of it, hurting for money and transportation.
    Many hugs.
     
  12. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Janet, I admit I'm shocked. I had no idea Cory had ever taken drugs or would steal from you. And I swear I read your posts....anyhow....

    I agree with the others. Put yourself first and detach, detach, detach. Try to do it without the anger to the degree that you can because anger causes stress and stress causes any illness to kick up and get worse and none of us want to see your health start to fail. Agree with poster who said to just enjoy your new life with Tony.

    I am really sorry about the car and wish you the best with the lawsuit, but have no knowledge about those things myself. Sending cyber-hugs to you.
     
  13. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    MWM, Cory has a long history of theft from Janet and Tony, up to and including forging checks on her bank account. He'd laid low for several years, but sadly, it doesn't look like that leopard has changed its spots.

    Other than marijuana, I didn't know that Cory was using harder drugs, either.

    The lawsuit is likely hosed. Cory likely KNEW about the lawsuit. He just didn't care.

    Janet. It's time to do what you gotta do. Detach and get on with your life with Tony. No sense in making yourself sick over this. It's not worth it in the long run. Put your energies towards your relationship with Tony and the other kids. You both have a lot to get used to as the new living arrangements are a real change. And change, even good change, is very stressful.
     
  14. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Forget the lawsuit.

    Report the theft and report it to your insurance, let them pay for whatever repairs they will pay for. At least that will be less money out of your pocket. Perhaps you'll get lucky and they'll consider it "totaled" and reimburse you the cost of the car itself.

    If you're not comfortable with forgetting the suit, consult a lawyer in your area. Getting advice on here is fine and good, but when it comes to legal and money.......you go to professionals.

    I'm so sorry about C. I know that has got to hurt your mommy heart bad, if not now then when you're over being furious with him.

    (((hugs)))
     
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  15. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    (((hugs)))
     
  16. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I dont think I am going to forget about the lawsuit completely but I will simply go to small claims court which thankfully in NC has a rather generous limit of 10K. I am also going to go press the charges against Cory and then report this whole thing to my insurance company. Part of my damages in the lawsuit will be shown in the fact that they wont give me value of this same car in the condition they told me it was in. (Does that sentence make sense?)

    I would file a lawsuit against Cory but that would be useless. We are thinking about putting life insurance on Cory so when he ends up killing himself from all this we would at least get repaid what he owes us.

    About Cory and the drugs. Yes he has used pot for about the last 10 years but he was always dead set against anything harder. In fact he gets faint when having blood drawn. This is something that came out of left field for us. What happened is that he got hooked when he went to TX for that wonderful job. He allowed some idiots tell him that because he couldnt get to a pain doctor for prescription pills, heroin was the same thing just in its "natural" form. What an idiot. He has claimed to us that he couldnt find heroin in our county so he switched to cocaine but I dont know that I believe him. As RE says, Maybe yes, Maybe no. Personally I dont care which one it is.

    I am still absolutely furious with Mandy and want nothing to do with her either because everything that comes out of her mouth is a lie. Yesterday I had to go by the trailer to get some stuff I had left behind and she was over there. I asked her again about this Curts last name or phone number and she completely lied to me saying she couldnt remember it. I didnt know it but she gave it to Tony last weekend! Now why Tony never told me this when I was asking him to find all this info out for me during the week I have no clue.

    Tony is waffling as per normal. I am not. Now dont get me wrong, I am mad but I am not sitting here fuming. I had to go to the doctor yesterday and my blood pressure was great...lol. I told the doctor there had to be something wrong with the machine because if anyone should have high BiPolar (BP) it should be me with all the stress I am under! Nope...wonderful 107/7o.

    Anyway about Tony waffling. I have said that I mean exactly what I said when I ordered Cory out of the yard. I dont want to see him again, dont call me, forget my name, forget he even has a mother. I am done being his doormat. Well now Tony says he doesnt want contact with him for 2 years. How stupid. I told Tony maybe 2 years after he gets out of prison and/or he completes a very good rehab center and proves by actions that I might want to let him slowly back into our lives but Im not simply going to sit on the sidelines and count down months until we can welcome an addict and a thief back into our lives. Thats just stupid. But I told Tony that once again I will do the hard stuff, be the bad guy and do what needs to be done. Tony's response was that well, he only does this stuff to me because he thinks he can get away with it. WHAT??? Arent I the one who pressed charges before? And as far as Cory only stealing from me, all I have heard for the last 4/5 months was how Cory was stealing money from Tony. Whatever. I think I am going to nickname Tony "Waffles"....lol.

    I dont have a home phone right now so I am going to wait to do all this on Monday when I should feel better because I will have been on antibiotics all weekend.
     
  17. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I kind of thought so...
     
  18. Rabbit

    Rabbit Member

    Sending Hugs
     
  19. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    Perhaps you have nothing to lose to report it as being stolen and go forth with the lawsuit, but understand this could very well hurt your chances of success. We just do not know. I'm so sorry. How dreadful.

    Agreeing with the others about detaching!!!!!!!! No need to associate with your son as he has willfully damaged you. Pry that something changes in the future...but that is strictly on him. Cut your losses....detach to the max. Be well.
     
  20. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am still trying to get some info on what the results will be as to the car. I am planning on taking it to a repair shop that can look at it and tell me everything that is wrong with it. I also just realized I have the title from where GEICO sold the car to my dealer. I am going to attempt to contact them and see if they can give me any information on exactly how the car was totaled. Would be good to know.

    I am trying as hard to detach as possible however some folks seem to want to attempt to drag me in. I have no interest in speaking to Cory at this time but Billy constantly comes over and puts him on speaker phone! I leave the room and hide in the bathroom with the door locked...lol.
     
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