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I need help on etiquette
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 397939" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>Hmmm, tricky. What I would do was send her a note in the mail. I would just ask her if she could let you know what dad put in his papers about XYZ (the specifics you do know about that he wanted you to have) because the items he mentioned wanting you and Tony to have are of emotional importance to you and you'd like to make arrangements to pick them up when its convenient for her. I'd also mention that you didn't know about a CD for you until she mentioned it so would appreciate details about it and anything else mentioned by your dad in his arrangements. I would end with a thank you in advance, hope you do realized I ask not for mercenary reasons but because these things were important to my dad and are important to me because he wanted certain things to be kept with his daughter when the time came. </p><p>If you are polite and sensitive in asking, then if she chooses to be upset it is something she is creating. Either out of grief or whatever. Don't own that. Hopefully she'll just be happy to honor her husbands wishes. </p><p>Alternately, you could contact his attorney on the premise of the CD, and in speaking with that attorney, request whatever legally you are entitled to in terms of information from the will. If you don't know the lawyers name, you could just ask his wife the lawyers name. Something like "I was thinking on the mention you made of a CD for me that dad set up, can I have his lawyers name and number so I can get in touch about it. I'm going to use the same person to do whatever legal stuff on my end I have to do to accept the CD rather than waste time searching for someone else".</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 397939, member: 4264"] Hmmm, tricky. What I would do was send her a note in the mail. I would just ask her if she could let you know what dad put in his papers about XYZ (the specifics you do know about that he wanted you to have) because the items he mentioned wanting you and Tony to have are of emotional importance to you and you'd like to make arrangements to pick them up when its convenient for her. I'd also mention that you didn't know about a CD for you until she mentioned it so would appreciate details about it and anything else mentioned by your dad in his arrangements. I would end with a thank you in advance, hope you do realized I ask not for mercenary reasons but because these things were important to my dad and are important to me because he wanted certain things to be kept with his daughter when the time came. If you are polite and sensitive in asking, then if she chooses to be upset it is something she is creating. Either out of grief or whatever. Don't own that. Hopefully she'll just be happy to honor her husbands wishes. Alternately, you could contact his attorney on the premise of the CD, and in speaking with that attorney, request whatever legally you are entitled to in terms of information from the will. If you don't know the lawyers name, you could just ask his wife the lawyers name. Something like "I was thinking on the mention you made of a CD for me that dad set up, can I have his lawyers name and number so I can get in touch about it. I'm going to use the same person to do whatever legal stuff on my end I have to do to accept the CD rather than waste time searching for someone else". [/QUOTE]
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