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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 397949" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>That all sounds good. I am just really having a problem handling this. If it was my mother, I wouldnt have a problem at all, I would simply just ask. Its the whole second marriage thing that has me second guessing myself and it is the way she has always kept me and my part of the family away from her kids like we had the plague and might infect them in some way. I think the funeral was like the third time we all got together in all these years. Sad huh? I so wanted siblings and for my kids to have aunts and uncles. <em><strong>I</strong></em> considered them my siblings but it wasnt returned. Sad thing was my dad always said he could rely on Tony and my boys much more than he could rely on Pat's boys and her daughters husband even though they lived in the same town as Pat and my Dad. If my Dad really needed something done, he would let me know and somehow we would go do it...and wouldnt ask for a dime. Pats kids charged him! That really ticked him off. Have to say though, we usually found a little bit of money tucked into a pocket of a jacket or some other place no one would look until we were almost home...lol. It was the fact that we never ever asked for money but he did make sure we covered gas money at least. </p><p></p><p>I have no idea who is lawyer would have been. I dont even remember who he used for the divorce. I dont think I was privy to that information. Its not like he lived in a small town, I cant just call lawyers...lol. Do things have to go through probate court if he had a will? I thought that was only if a person died without one. I do know their house and cars were all paid for and were in both names...XXX or YYY. Not XXX and YYY. Even their joint accounts were done that way. I dont know if he had any that were in just his name except that CD which I think is jointly in his name and mine but I believe it is an upon death account. I cannot believe my dad ever had a CD that I could have accessed at any time. </p><p></p><p>I believe if there are 3 life insurance policies then one would be Pat's, one would be mine and the other may be set up to split amongst the grandchildren and great-grandchildren. This one might be stipulated that it would go into a trust for some of the grandchildren and greats. I wouldnt doubt it at all if my Dad didnt set up Cory's as a trust because of his issues. Maybe he cant touch it until he reaches 30 or 35. Maybe the great- grands go into a trust for a college fund. Or if they dont go to college, they cant touch it until they reach 25 or so. Dad wasnt stupid. </p><p></p><p>The smaller stuff I want isnt real important. I would like the video's he taped of my boys when they were young. I cant see why Pat would want them. I would like to take all the pictures she has of my dad and the boys and his childhood to a copier place and get them scanned onto a disk. She can have the originals. I believe my dad has a bunch of 8mm film and slides he and my mom took of me when I was a baby and toddler. I would like to have those. I believe my dad still has the wedding ring from his marriage to my mom, I would like that. I gave my dad a Marine Corps ring. I would like that. I actually wear the same size ring as he did. I can wear it. Or I did then, I might have to get it resized now. I gave my dad 12 Marine Xmas ornaments that were sent one a month for a year. They werent cheap and I would love to get them back because he loved them so much. </p><p></p><p>Im sure there are a few other little things but I cant think of them right now. Its memory stuff. Oh...I want one of the license plates off his truck. USS VIN. Another family member has already put in dibs for the other plate. LOL.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 397949, member: 1514"] That all sounds good. I am just really having a problem handling this. If it was my mother, I wouldnt have a problem at all, I would simply just ask. Its the whole second marriage thing that has me second guessing myself and it is the way she has always kept me and my part of the family away from her kids like we had the plague and might infect them in some way. I think the funeral was like the third time we all got together in all these years. Sad huh? I so wanted siblings and for my kids to have aunts and uncles. [I][B]I[/B][/I] considered them my siblings but it wasnt returned. Sad thing was my dad always said he could rely on Tony and my boys much more than he could rely on Pat's boys and her daughters husband even though they lived in the same town as Pat and my Dad. If my Dad really needed something done, he would let me know and somehow we would go do it...and wouldnt ask for a dime. Pats kids charged him! That really ticked him off. Have to say though, we usually found a little bit of money tucked into a pocket of a jacket or some other place no one would look until we were almost home...lol. It was the fact that we never ever asked for money but he did make sure we covered gas money at least. I have no idea who is lawyer would have been. I dont even remember who he used for the divorce. I dont think I was privy to that information. Its not like he lived in a small town, I cant just call lawyers...lol. Do things have to go through probate court if he had a will? I thought that was only if a person died without one. I do know their house and cars were all paid for and were in both names...XXX or YYY. Not XXX and YYY. Even their joint accounts were done that way. I dont know if he had any that were in just his name except that CD which I think is jointly in his name and mine but I believe it is an upon death account. I cannot believe my dad ever had a CD that I could have accessed at any time. I believe if there are 3 life insurance policies then one would be Pat's, one would be mine and the other may be set up to split amongst the grandchildren and great-grandchildren. This one might be stipulated that it would go into a trust for some of the grandchildren and greats. I wouldnt doubt it at all if my Dad didnt set up Cory's as a trust because of his issues. Maybe he cant touch it until he reaches 30 or 35. Maybe the great- grands go into a trust for a college fund. Or if they dont go to college, they cant touch it until they reach 25 or so. Dad wasnt stupid. The smaller stuff I want isnt real important. I would like the video's he taped of my boys when they were young. I cant see why Pat would want them. I would like to take all the pictures she has of my dad and the boys and his childhood to a copier place and get them scanned onto a disk. She can have the originals. I believe my dad has a bunch of 8mm film and slides he and my mom took of me when I was a baby and toddler. I would like to have those. I believe my dad still has the wedding ring from his marriage to my mom, I would like that. I gave my dad a Marine Corps ring. I would like that. I actually wear the same size ring as he did. I can wear it. Or I did then, I might have to get it resized now. I gave my dad 12 Marine Xmas ornaments that were sent one a month for a year. They werent cheap and I would love to get them back because he loved them so much. Im sure there are a few other little things but I cant think of them right now. Its memory stuff. Oh...I want one of the license plates off his truck. USS VIN. Another family member has already put in dibs for the other plate. LOL. [/QUOTE]
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