easy child 2 called tonight, BAWLING. She thought she was coming to our house this weekend and that she'd be going to the local rodeo with us (which is a big event here). *** This isn't her weekend to be here - last weekend was - but her mom wouldn't let her due to "make up" from our vacation. Her next weekend here is Labor Day weekend. *** We don't have anything special planned for Labor Day weekend, so I called her mom and offered to switch so easy child could go with us to the rodeo. And I got screamed at. Again. And obviously the answer was no, because they have plans without kids next weekend, so they couldn't switch. I said easy child was welcome to come both weekends, but I knew that would never fly, so...was there any way she could go with us one night? *&^%$(^%^% NO. *** Per the court order, the minimum easy child is supposed to be here is every Wed from 6pm-5pm Thursday and every other weekend - 6pm Friday thru 6pm Sunday - thru the school year. In our state, we have this "equal and loving access" law, too, so the court order is considered a minimum if the parents can't agree on something else. I recently spoke to an attorney, and he encouraged us to ask for easy child anytime we're doing something as a family, etc. He said that's "the way it should be" and the court would not look at it as being greedy with her. *** A year or so ago, easy child wanted to ride the bus to our house after school on Wednesday's. After much ado, mom finally agreed. And 6 or 8 times a year we'll go out of town for a weekend and ask to keep her overnight on Sunday. We are in the same school district and hindsite is 20/20, husband should have asked for a lot more time. *** Anyway, mom threatened to take away letting easy child ride the bus here on Wednesdays, vacation next year, and any Sunday overnights if we don't quit asking. (Keep in mind she gets home from work around 5:30 on Wed - IF she comes home...who's the target of THAT action?) She said easy child has been with us every year for the rodeo (which is nt true - we only had her last year for this rodeo). At this point, she said she needs easy child home to help her all this weekend beacuse they're having a birthday party for her 5 year old step son. I asked if it was maybe possible to spare easy child for 2 hours Friday night? Absolutey not. Then she said easy child is just gonna have to learn that she's gonna miss things - she can't do it all. I asked why. Apparently that was the wrong thing to do. She blew up again and reiterated the threats and said easy child just can't do everything she wants to do cause then she'll want to be with us every weekend cause we do something every weekend. I said sometimes it won't work, sometimes she will have to miss out, but why, what circumstance this weekend prevents her from spending most of her time with you and 2 hours with us to do soething she wants to do and something she would have done if you and husband hadn't split? Wow...big blow. *** I know we are pushing the line with her right now, but its what the lawyer told us to do. He said the goal of the parenting plan is to have the least impact on the child as possible, and parents should work together for the child. I feel like that's what we are trying to do, but I also feel like we're gonna lose what little ground we've made with this woman. *** Is what we're asking for too much? Should we back off? Its really eating at me...I know children survive a lot worse, but there's no sense in this. We already hide as many plans as we can from easy child so we don't hurt her, but should we really have to do that???