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Parent Emeritus
I need help talking to and setting limits with my son. Ongoing. Thanks.
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 663124" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>It helped us to know that son had money. He had spent it on drugs. Any money we gave him either replaced what he'd spent on drugs or went for more drugs. And we sort of knew that but we didn't. Denial is a very strange place to be; very hard to break through denial. Anyway, once we really did believe we were looking at an addiction and not the results of poor parenting on my part, and once we read about addiction and its effects on the brain (and after I had sent my son this thing with a million pages in it about that very thing plus the vitamin regimen to rebalance the addicted brain over time) then, at last, we could say no. But we still didn't say no. Finally I did say no, Copa. You will, too. Be gentle with yourself now, care for yourself now, understand you are under attack, now.</p><p></p><p>Once "NO" has been established Copa, things will get easier.</p><p></p><p>This is the hard part.</p><p></p><p>You are doing great, Copa. Telling the truth to ourselves about what is happening is the hardest part. You are doing that. Telling someone else what you think you see happening is the second step. You are doing that, too.</p><p></p><p>It isn't easy, Copa.</p><p></p><p>It is very hard.</p><p></p><p>It would be worse if we were alone with it.</p><p></p><p>We have one another.</p><p></p><p>You will get through it, Copa. Just keep doing the best you know one small step at a time.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 663124, member: 17461"] It helped us to know that son had money. He had spent it on drugs. Any money we gave him either replaced what he'd spent on drugs or went for more drugs. And we sort of knew that but we didn't. Denial is a very strange place to be; very hard to break through denial. Anyway, once we really did believe we were looking at an addiction and not the results of poor parenting on my part, and once we read about addiction and its effects on the brain (and after I had sent my son this thing with a million pages in it about that very thing plus the vitamin regimen to rebalance the addicted brain over time) then, at last, we could say no. But we still didn't say no. Finally I did say no, Copa. You will, too. Be gentle with yourself now, care for yourself now, understand you are under attack, now. Once "NO" has been established Copa, things will get easier. This is the hard part. You are doing great, Copa. Telling the truth to ourselves about what is happening is the hardest part. You are doing that. Telling someone else what you think you see happening is the second step. You are doing that, too. It isn't easy, Copa. It is very hard. It would be worse if we were alone with it. We have one another. You will get through it, Copa. Just keep doing the best you know one small step at a time. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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I need help talking to and setting limits with my son. Ongoing. Thanks.
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