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I need help with my 5 year old
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 307536" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>It is unlikely that, with his history, his diagnosis is actually ADHD/ODD. There is probably a lot mokre to him than that. I'll bet there IS some sort of special needs adoption support group and in my opinion that will help you more than any other sort of parent group.</p><p></p><p>Since, like one of my children, this child was drug/alcohol exposed I think it is important to take him to a clinic that understands the effects of alcohol especially in utero. If you don't, you will probably get a professional who is not familiar with it's effects and also get a diagnosis not taking the possible physical ramifications of the exposure into account. It is unlikely that he has no extra problems due to this exposure. </p><p></p><p>I would find a clinic like that. There is one in Chicago that specializes in alcohol and drug exposed children. They must also have them elsewhere, probably in university hospital settings. If that is just not possible, I'd take him to a neuropsychologist AND a neurologist to get the maximum testing I could considering the extra issues involved. A regular therapist, school, and even a plain psychologist who does not do intensive testing and doesn't understand the physiology of the brain is probably unable to give you a good diagnosis.</p><p></p><p>It is important to know if the child is affected, behaviorally or cognitively, due to the poor prenatal care. This is different from the mother who gave birth to her child and knows the history and did not abuse drugs/alcohol during the child's birth. You are dealing with many unknowns and it will take a possibly long journey to figure out what all the issues are. medications may help or make it worse...depending what on "it" is. </p><p></p><p>Knowing the history of the birthparents is also helpful. The less you know, the harder it will be to figure out your kiddo. It can be done, but it takes time and perseverance and the admission that this isn't the same as a child born to you with the background easily assessed. If he has alcohol effects, these kids have brain damage and when they misbehave they often don't understand why they are punished. Also, many can't retain information day to day. Impulse control can be fair or non-existent, depending. Medication can soothe some symptoms, but not really address the problem of alcohol spectrum kids. I would not marry boyfriend unless he understands that this is going to be a difficult child and that it may not be his fault (the childs). </p><p></p><p>Good luck, whatever you decide to do!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 307536, member: 1550"] It is unlikely that, with his history, his diagnosis is actually ADHD/ODD. There is probably a lot mokre to him than that. I'll bet there IS some sort of special needs adoption support group and in my opinion that will help you more than any other sort of parent group. Since, like one of my children, this child was drug/alcohol exposed I think it is important to take him to a clinic that understands the effects of alcohol especially in utero. If you don't, you will probably get a professional who is not familiar with it's effects and also get a diagnosis not taking the possible physical ramifications of the exposure into account. It is unlikely that he has no extra problems due to this exposure. I would find a clinic like that. There is one in Chicago that specializes in alcohol and drug exposed children. They must also have them elsewhere, probably in university hospital settings. If that is just not possible, I'd take him to a neuropsychologist AND a neurologist to get the maximum testing I could considering the extra issues involved. A regular therapist, school, and even a plain psychologist who does not do intensive testing and doesn't understand the physiology of the brain is probably unable to give you a good diagnosis. It is important to know if the child is affected, behaviorally or cognitively, due to the poor prenatal care. This is different from the mother who gave birth to her child and knows the history and did not abuse drugs/alcohol during the child's birth. You are dealing with many unknowns and it will take a possibly long journey to figure out what all the issues are. medications may help or make it worse...depending what on "it" is. Knowing the history of the birthparents is also helpful. The less you know, the harder it will be to figure out your kiddo. It can be done, but it takes time and perseverance and the admission that this isn't the same as a child born to you with the background easily assessed. If he has alcohol effects, these kids have brain damage and when they misbehave they often don't understand why they are punished. Also, many can't retain information day to day. Impulse control can be fair or non-existent, depending. Medication can soothe some symptoms, but not really address the problem of alcohol spectrum kids. I would not marry boyfriend unless he understands that this is going to be a difficult child and that it may not be his fault (the childs). Good luck, whatever you decide to do! [/QUOTE]
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