Jeru
Determined
I have no idea what's going on with my 5yr old son. I'm new to this site and hopefully I can find a place to talk to ppl who understand and maybe even get some advice...we've been having a lot of trouble with him and it seems to be getting worse. It started, noticeably, in Preschool and now he's in K. In preschool the teacher would always send home reports about how he's constantly aggrivating the other students and not listening. I became defensive because it seemed the only word she'd use to describe my son was aggrivating and honestly it just made me mad. So after a couple of parent-teacher conferences, eventually we took him out. By that time it was summer so he went to a summer school where they didn't send home too many complaints, BUT come to find out all they really did there was go on a few field trips and sit in a room and watch t.v. or video games all day...and his camp counselor was a high school kid. So of course the complaints weren't given. So here we are, now, mid-way through grade K and the complaints have been rolling in day after day. He's not bothering the other students like the previous teacher reported he was doing, but he's beginning to have problems with being quiet during class and, quite simply, just following the everyday routine/directions/class rules. He isn't having problems on his report card except for the behavior. In fact, he pretty much has all of his class work mastered (with the exception of his handwriting...but he's 5 so...) Recently he was SUSPENDED for (and this is the suspension notice) not following directions, hiding behind a shelf and playing, and lifting up a students shirt. Maybe I'm wrong, but it seemed down right absurd to suspend a 5 yr old for the above mentioned! For one, he claims he was calling the students name over & over & she didn't listen so he pulled her shirt to get her attention... That was about a week ago, then I get a call from the teacher today telling me that he just won't listen to what he's being told. He also gets very panicky when you tell him that he has to stop playing a game or anything for that matter, even down to either washing his hair or bathing his body first...it all seems to be a difficult task for me to do anything peacefully with him. The other day I saw him run up to his 18 month old sister who was innocently standing by the door looking outside and out of nowhere punched her in the crotch...it's the things like this that baffle me. right now it's 5:17 and he's been in his room, sitting on a chair in the middle of his room, since he's been home from school. And pretty much peacefully too might I add. So, I wonder, is he just acting out every now and then just to get a rise out of us? I've had ppl suggest ADD/ADHD, but how can a child with that disorder do so well with work, or like right now sit in a chair for a couple of hrs, or watch a whole 2 hr movie all the way through without getting up, and things of the like? Is he testing his limits? Is this normal? Oh, and sometimes, like today, he'll say disturbing things when he's getting a punishment. I told him to go to his room for the way that he behaved in class today and he began to say that he was going to rip everything off of himself, even his hair, and that then he'd rip his brain out so he'd be dumb. Then other times he'll say things like, nobody wants to hear me talk, I'm stupid and things like this too. Should I get him to a doctor? Or would that increase the behavior because he's getting all of this attention for it? He loves to get attention and will do tricks all day long to get it, so I'm wondering if him saying stuff like that is so I'll say "oh baby, now you know that that isn't true...everyone loves you and we all think you are a very intelligent boy, please don't say those things..." then other times when his dad is giving him a spanking, he'll turn around and just start slapping himself across the face out of rage or anger or whatever...I need some input. I don't know where to go from here. And like I said earlier, with the punishments, after the initial blow is over and done with and he's accepted that he's punished, he'll obey and not act out and he'll do whatever it is that he's supposed to do. He's been punished for the entire afternoon/evening, didn't get to do anything but sit in his room, and he did it with grace...what's wrong with this picture. Maybe anger management and self control issues...but he's 5, doesn't every 5 y o have that to some degree and maybe mine just has the extreme version? Maybe Karate could help with the outlet of energy & at the same time teach principals of self control? Any suggestions?
