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General Parenting
I need more help for difficult child, and don't know where to look or what to do.
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 483971" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>Stop.</p><p>Breathe.</p><p>Again.</p><p>Slowly.</p><p></p><p>YOU have to be in control of yourself, in order to be any help at all to difficult child.</p><p>Its hard. But its vital.</p><p></p><p>And yes... its going in circles and jumping hoops and never seeming to get anywhere. And it is FRUSTRATING.</p><p></p><p>Once you've calmed your mind a bit, see if you can come up with a mental picture that separates your difficult child from the disorder. Because SHE is not the disorder and the disorder is not her. (esp. for things like anxiety and/or depression) She is a real person, who you love and care for. The problem is, she has a disorder that is very hard to work with and to live with. You're trying to get help so she can be the real person she is...</p><p></p><p>The reason this is so vital, is that it affects how YOU respond/react to HER... which in turn affects how she responds/reacts... Breaking the cycle by being aware yourself of what is really happening, often helps, and sometimes helps significantly.</p><p></p><p>Does the school have a counsellor that YOU can talk to about the mental illness issue? Not to get help (although they may have some idea of where you could go for more resources), but to get whatever accommodations are available to her? Like, sending some work home so she can still nominally keep up, reducing the load, etc. What you're looking for is ways to get through to Christmas break, really - by then, you'll have seen the psychiatrist and therapist...</p><p></p><p>psychiatrist is "just" medications - but if medication reaction is part of the problem, that may be productive in itself... unfortunately, it usually takes time to make a medications switch.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 483971, member: 11791"] Stop. Breathe. Again. Slowly. YOU have to be in control of yourself, in order to be any help at all to difficult child. Its hard. But its vital. And yes... its going in circles and jumping hoops and never seeming to get anywhere. And it is FRUSTRATING. Once you've calmed your mind a bit, see if you can come up with a mental picture that separates your difficult child from the disorder. Because SHE is not the disorder and the disorder is not her. (esp. for things like anxiety and/or depression) She is a real person, who you love and care for. The problem is, she has a disorder that is very hard to work with and to live with. You're trying to get help so she can be the real person she is... The reason this is so vital, is that it affects how YOU respond/react to HER... which in turn affects how she responds/reacts... Breaking the cycle by being aware yourself of what is really happening, often helps, and sometimes helps significantly. Does the school have a counsellor that YOU can talk to about the mental illness issue? Not to get help (although they may have some idea of where you could go for more resources), but to get whatever accommodations are available to her? Like, sending some work home so she can still nominally keep up, reducing the load, etc. What you're looking for is ways to get through to Christmas break, really - by then, you'll have seen the psychiatrist and therapist... psychiatrist is "just" medications - but if medication reaction is part of the problem, that may be productive in itself... unfortunately, it usually takes time to make a medications switch. [/QUOTE]
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I need more help for difficult child, and don't know where to look or what to do.
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