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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
I need some encouragement please
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 672396" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>Hello Rosie and welcome. I am so sorry that you are going through this and I am glad that you have found us. It sounds like it is time for you to detach and let your daughter start facing the consequences of her choices. Enabling behavior is hard to change on your own, though. It took me two years of private therapy to stop enabling my daughter. My husband also participated in the therapy.</p><p></p><p>The car is the hardest part. I would get it fixed and sell it even if you have to take a loss. Your daughter has fallen down on her end of the bargain by missing the car payments and letting someone else drive the car. So you no longer have any obligation to supply her with a car. You are also facing a huge liability since it is in your name if she hurts someone while driving under the influence. Since it is in your name, you do not need her permission to sell it.</p><p></p><p>It won't be easy and she will throw a fit. I know . . . I have been there. After driving 5 cars that we supplied her into the ground, we stopped supplying a car for our daughter. She now rides a bus to get to work and back.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting. You will find an incredible amount of understanding and support here.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 672396, member: 1967"] Hello Rosie and welcome. I am so sorry that you are going through this and I am glad that you have found us. It sounds like it is time for you to detach and let your daughter start facing the consequences of her choices. Enabling behavior is hard to change on your own, though. It took me two years of private therapy to stop enabling my daughter. My husband also participated in the therapy. The car is the hardest part. I would get it fixed and sell it even if you have to take a loss. Your daughter has fallen down on her end of the bargain by missing the car payments and letting someone else drive the car. So you no longer have any obligation to supply her with a car. You are also facing a huge liability since it is in your name if she hurts someone while driving under the influence. Since it is in your name, you do not need her permission to sell it. It won't be easy and she will throw a fit. I know . . . I have been there. After driving 5 cars that we supplied her into the ground, we stopped supplying a car for our daughter. She now rides a bus to get to work and back. Keep posting. You will find an incredible amount of understanding and support here. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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I need some encouragement please
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