Little Update: difficult child is not speaking to me, husband or my parents. I don't think he is speaking to easy child anymore either because she refused to acknowledge him when we went into his work last weekend. (She was the only one he would acknowledge...she gave him the finger and walked away) My parents are back on board with husband and I because difficult child asked them for money, they refused and he hasn't spoken to them since. Last conversation I had with difficult child via text was that because I wasn't doing anything for him he saw no reason to have me in his life. Said he didn't want a relationship with me and wanted me out of his life. One part of me wants to give him what he wants and just leave him on his own and hope he comes to his senses and decides he wants a relationship with his family. Another part of me wants to continue to try having a relationship with him. He is only 17 after all. I finished reading the book When Parents Hurt by Joshua Coleman. He believes that even if they are angry, not communicating, etc. that parents should continue to pay for things they would pay for with a easy child until they are 30. So, if I am willing to pay for easy child's dental then I should pay for difficult child's dental, college, etc. Of course that doesn't mean paying for everything, just what I'd be willing to do if he was a easy child. husband and I have been talking and we thought about trying to meet with difficult child to discuss the possibility of working on our relationship. If nothing else we really want to see him graduate from high school. He only got 3 credits this year (at least I hope he got 3) out of 8. We were thinking of striking a bargain with him. He goes to summer school and passes and we will rent him a room on a month to month basis in a shared accommodation setting. We don't want to get him an apartment because he'll have parties but if he just has a room in someone's house then that isn't likely to happen. I don't think he's the type to destroy someone's property anyway - he never destroyed our home while he lived here. Then I'd like to continue paying his rent for the coming school year while he goes to school. My conditions would be that he gets counselling, individual and family (to work on our relationship) and that he passes his courses. He would be required to continue working part time to pay for his groceries and toiletries. If he doesn't live up to his end of the bargain then husband and I will stop paying his rent. He will be 18 in February so if he fails his first semester courses (exams are end of January) he will be on his own as of his 18th birthday. If we can work this out he should be able to graduate next year. He has 20 credits now (I hope), needs 30. 1 in summer school this year, 8 next year, 1 in summer school next year. Part of me thinks he is just going to use us for the money and part of me thinks he is hurt because he feels like we should be helping him because he's a kid and we're his parents. Ugh. I just want something to work with him, I want to try and help him, and I'm obviously not ready to give up. Even husband is on board with this idea because I think he is having a much harder time than he lets on. And of course he would like to see me happy about my relationship with difficult child. Regardless if he is taking summer school it starts very soon so we need to make up our minds about what we want to do ASAP. *Thoughts??