I need some support for me!

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by bby31288, Mar 20, 2012.

  1. bby31288

    bby31288 Active Member

    I was prescribed Oxy for pain, and began to take it recreationally. I have been using for 7 months. Today is day 4 of cold turkey. The original pain that I had is pretty much gone, which is good. But the urge to take just one more is killing me. The first two days were pure hell, I have made it this far..please help me not to take one today. I know I can do it.
     
  2. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    You can do it! I'm not sure about Oxy, but do you need a doctor's supervision, or are you supposed to stop cold turkey? Either way, you made it through the hardest part so far, which is recognizing your problem, and getting thru the first few days. Do whatever it takes support-wise to continue on this path. You're very brave!
     
  3. bby31288

    bby31288 Active Member

    Thanks Jane. I am so ashamed. My family has no idea. They just think I was sick all weekend. I told them I didn't know what was wrong with me. There is no one to tell this too.
     
  4. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    bby,
    I am shocked at the number of people I have met at the gym (very small town) that are having problems with pain medications.

    We are talking about good, honest, hark working people - JUST LIKE YOU!!!!!

    Please don't be ashamed - and they don't have to know if it embarrassess you. I'll check here every hour to give you support. I have a meeting to attend about 4:30 pm - everyone right now is focused on Easter. You just focus on you.

    I foolishly started smoking when I let 3 smoking female coworkers convince me it would calm my nerves - hubby picked up a hitcher and moved in with her when I was pregnant - can we say LOSER lol!!!!

    Anyway, quiting was the hardest thing I have done in my life - I tried everything and nothing worked I finally quit cold turkey. I dreamed about cigarettes, I gained about 30 pounds and had high blood pressure and nausea. My doctor told me for some people it is more addicting than herion. I agreed with him! Now I can't believe I ever smoked.

    Find something to do to keep you busy and your mind off the pills. Fight the urge it will pass. If you were sick you may neeed to see a doctor. Look for a hot line to ask questions.

    Also, post on the adult forum too, that way you will have double support. You can do it!!!!
     
  5. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    bby,
    Don't be ashamed! And you might want to tell your family; they will surely support your struggle and also hold you accountable. But really, don't be ashamed, be proud that you've found the strength to stop. You're doing great...keep checking here - we're all a very supportive bunch. You may feel you're all alone in this, but believe me, you're not.
     
  6. bby31288

    bby31288 Active Member

    Thanks Tired! I am strong, I know I can do this. I don't want to be this way. I don't want to feel that awful again. I know though because I have tried to quit before that just 1 pill will make all of these terrible pains and withdrawal go away. Just 1!! But then it starts all over again. I would have to do those first 2 days of pain and vomiting and running to the bathroom all over again. I need to remember that this is day 4, all of that is almost over.
     
  7. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Hang in there. I was on it for pain and when I wanted to stop I went slowly with the doctor guidance. There were times I forgot to get my script and over a weekend had nothing ....that was awful so if you are this far along you are amazing. I might suggest you get support even if it is NA or a similar program to explore that urge to use recreationally. Others here know more about that. Hugs and hang in there. Do not be embarrassed ...it is a tough medication.
     
  8. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You can do it, one hour at a time and then those hours will turn into a day and a day into two. Thank you for being brave enough to tell us. This helps me understand what my difficult child is feeling, just this one drink today will make me feel better and before she knew it she was drinking 24/7. The worst is over. Have you thought about going to an NA meeting?

    I'm sending all the positive energy I have, please keep posting and let us know how you are doing. You haver taken the first few steps and they are big ones.

    Hugs,
    Nancy
     
  9. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    You're going to make it - just reaching out for help is HUGE! I will be praying and sending good, healthy vibes to you!
     
  10. bby31288

    bby31288 Active Member

    Thank you all so much. I am going. I am currently crying. Because you are all here for me. Thank you all. I'm taking it minute by minute. When the urge is to hard to handle I come here. Or I take a shower. I should be cleaning but I don't have the energy to do so much. That was the plus also. It gave me that little boost to get thru my day. All the noise and stress. Just numb. Roll with it.
     
  11. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Stress. How about some totally safe stress-busters?
    - peppermint or ginger herbal tea (these two are food ingredients, among the safest out there)
    - scented candles or aromatherapy jars - there are specific scent combos for stress
    - music to do housework by... If I just can't get off my butt, there's nothing like military marches or good old pipes to stir the blood... yours may be another genre, but, something with an up-beat tempo.
     
  12. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sending supportive gentle hugs your way. I do not have experience with opiates so I just spent fifteen minutes or so trying to learn about withdrawal (length of time, side effects etc.) and it appears that you "could" be getting near the end of the worse. Your reactions jive exactly with what I read and actually included the lack of energy to clean. That surprised me.

    I was hoping to learn something that might help you as you fight your demon. It was recommended that you reach out to a self help group which you can do anonymously. Do you think that would help if you could talk freely with people who have been there done that? Are you home alone where you would have the privacy needed to do that?

    Just know we are here to listen and support you. Truthfully my only addiction experience has been cigarettes. Just last week I quit again. Fourteen years ago I quit and was smoke free for twelve years. I smoked ONE cigarette two years ago and I was immediately addicted again. From that experience I do know the temptation and, like you said, I know that all it takes is one to be back in the misery. For me it was necessary to get rid of all temptation. I don't know if you have made the choice to get rid of every single Oxy. I'm guessing it would cause a feeling of panic but, then again, it could bring some relief because it would not be easy to get one.

    We're all rooting for you. Hugs. DDD
     
  13. bby31288

    bby31288 Active Member

    No. I am not alone. My aunt is here as well as my family and grandson. I am hanging in there. Just please make it stop. I will look up support groups. Not sure if driving is good right now. Thank you all.
     
  14. bby31288

    bby31288 Active Member

    I have no oxy. It is gone. But It is just a phone call away. Im fighting.
     
  15. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sending supplemental strength so you "stay the course". You're likely past the worst of it and you sure don't want to have to go thru these past days again. Hugs. DDD
     
  16. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I don't know where you are located but I did look up Greater New York Region of NA and they have a help line number (212-929-6262) that might lead you to some knowledgeable support. Hugs DDD
     
  17. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    (((hugs))) glad you are fighting!!! it is very hard. When I was trying to quit smoking it was an emotional roller coaster ride. I ate bags of hard candy.

    I'm so glad you understand that if you take 'just one more' your starting all over again. I found meditating helped. But I think I crocheted an entire afghan in 2 weeks lol!!!!

    There are also online NA meetings Stay strong and stay busy!!!!

    (((blessing for us all)))
     
  18. bby31288

    bby31288 Active Member

    Thanks DDD. I will call. 3:08. I'm surviving!! Thanks to all of you wonderful ladies. I just took a ride with easy child 3 to get a month of tanning. I'm going to go home and try to nap a little.
     
  19. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    Good for you!!! Pamper yourself!!! The thing I notice about you is that you have good self esteem, that is a huge plus!!!! And the fact that you DO NOT want to be using pills!!!
    Proud of ya!!!
     
  20. bby31288

    bby31288 Active Member

    You are right. I don't want them. How can I be a role model for difficult child who is doing amazing? She would be so disappointed in me! I would take my grandson for a walk but I still need to stay close to a bathroom. I need to always remember these horrific days brought on by myself. In a quest to control what I couldn't. husband losing his job. Moving back from Louisiana. Living with my aunt who gratefully took my family in. No time for excuses. I will take ownership of this. I have learned that much from reading about all of your struggles with your difficult children addictions. Im sorry they put you thru that. Thank you for helping me thru this. It must be hard for you.
     
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