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Substance Abuse
I need strength to stop enabling and get my drug addicted son some help
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 535918"><p>Hi Ziggy,</p><p></p><p>First it is NOT your fault that he started using heroin, that was his choice and it was his behavior that made you kick him out... and even though he was homeless it was his decision to use heroin instead of figuring something else out.</p><p></p><p>Have you found a good alanon group for parents or some kind of support group for parents dealing with drug addicted kids? That could be a huge help to you. It has been a tremendous help to me to find other parents in real life who know exactly what I am going through... other parents who are good people and help me see that this happens more often than you think and to people you would not expect it to happen to.</p><p></p><p>So my question to you is will having him stay in your home help him stop using drugs? From what you have said it doesnt sound like you think it will but you are afraid if he doesnt stay with you then it will just get worse. Well the likelihood is the drug use will escalate anyway. He will not stop using until he really wants to or feels he has no other choice. As long as he has a comfortable place to stay, food to eat he will probably continue using.</p><p></p><p>My other question is do you have any idea what precipitated him using drugs? Is he using drugs to numb other issues in his life? The answer may very well be yes. In that case he might need more help than just detox or rehab. My experience with my son (who is 20) is that rehab is not enough for him, he also has to deal with his mental health issues.... and it is hard to find good dual diagnnosis programs that deal with mental health and substance abuse in parallel... and in my opinion for some people, like my son, he won't get clean unless he is also dealing with the mental health issues.</p><p></p><p>So the question really is does your son want help at all? Either for substance abuse or other issues? If the answer is no then there is really nothing you can do except to take care of yourself... and wait until he wants help. And it is hearbreaking and awful to be in that position... and so please take extra good care of yourself.</p><p></p><p>I dont know how much you have read of other threads.... but I have really been there. My son has been to several rehabs, been kicked out of several sober houses (for using) and is currently in treatment for both substance abuse and mental health issues. I still think he thinks his problem is not really drugs... but is really mental health... but at least he wants help for that. Our stand is we will help him get the help when he wants it, but he can't live here and we will not support him if he is using drugs.... and we will let him be on the street. He has discovered that in fact we will and has lived for about a week on the streets 3 different times. Hardest think I have ever done... and I knew it might be he would die or most likely get into heroin. Yet I had to do that for our own sanity and for my younger daughter as well.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 535918"] Hi Ziggy, First it is NOT your fault that he started using heroin, that was his choice and it was his behavior that made you kick him out... and even though he was homeless it was his decision to use heroin instead of figuring something else out. Have you found a good alanon group for parents or some kind of support group for parents dealing with drug addicted kids? That could be a huge help to you. It has been a tremendous help to me to find other parents in real life who know exactly what I am going through... other parents who are good people and help me see that this happens more often than you think and to people you would not expect it to happen to. So my question to you is will having him stay in your home help him stop using drugs? From what you have said it doesnt sound like you think it will but you are afraid if he doesnt stay with you then it will just get worse. Well the likelihood is the drug use will escalate anyway. He will not stop using until he really wants to or feels he has no other choice. As long as he has a comfortable place to stay, food to eat he will probably continue using. My other question is do you have any idea what precipitated him using drugs? Is he using drugs to numb other issues in his life? The answer may very well be yes. In that case he might need more help than just detox or rehab. My experience with my son (who is 20) is that rehab is not enough for him, he also has to deal with his mental health issues.... and it is hard to find good dual diagnnosis programs that deal with mental health and substance abuse in parallel... and in my opinion for some people, like my son, he won't get clean unless he is also dealing with the mental health issues. So the question really is does your son want help at all? Either for substance abuse or other issues? If the answer is no then there is really nothing you can do except to take care of yourself... and wait until he wants help. And it is hearbreaking and awful to be in that position... and so please take extra good care of yourself. I dont know how much you have read of other threads.... but I have really been there. My son has been to several rehabs, been kicked out of several sober houses (for using) and is currently in treatment for both substance abuse and mental health issues. I still think he thinks his problem is not really drugs... but is really mental health... but at least he wants help for that. Our stand is we will help him get the help when he wants it, but he can't live here and we will not support him if he is using drugs.... and we will let him be on the street. He has discovered that in fact we will and has lived for about a week on the streets 3 different times. Hardest think I have ever done... and I knew it might be he would die or most likely get into heroin. Yet I had to do that for our own sanity and for my younger daughter as well. TL [/QUOTE]
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I need strength to stop enabling and get my drug addicted son some help
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