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I need to be tied to the mast.
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<blockquote data-quote="B’smom" data-source="post: 740062" data-attributes="member: 23359"><p>It’s not irrational at all. This is a parents worry in life, especially when our children have disabilities. These are things I often worry about B and he’s only 10 and I’m still in my early 30’s. I pray I have enough time on this earth to see him succeed in life. I worry that when my husband and I are gone, no one will be there to care for him, to advocate for him, to ensure his success. You are not alone on this earth with this fear. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Human relationships and emotions are complex. It’s never usually just one thing that drives something. It’s a magnitude of things. Knowing something and emotionally feeling something are two different things. As a parent, you want to protect your children, you want to see them succeed. Both for their lives and your own. So that way when you leave this earth, you hope they’ll be safe and happy. Again, it’s not pathetic. It means you’re a loving and caring human being.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I don’t think it’s your fault and neither should you. In the end, it’s HIS choice. Why is it that say a parent with addictions, can have one perfectly “normal” child. Or two normal, loving caring parents end up with their child in jail. Again, human beings are complex. It’s never one thing that causes it. You cannot take the blame for his choices. My son often says to me “you made me hit my brother”. I remind him, that hitting was HIS choice. I did not physically move his body, I cannot control his actions. His choice and his consequences. Nevermind the fact that hitting his brother because of me makes absolutely no sense. </p><p></p><p>My father was abusive alcoholic growing up, I had many choices in my life to make. I could have chosen to become abusive, I could have chosen to become an addict to deal with the pain, I could have chosen to marry an abusive man. My choices, not my mothers’, not my fathers’. These were my choices to make and they’re choices that I continue to make on a daily basis. To rise above yesterday and be better. </p><p>You are not God Copa and you are not your son. He is his own person and in charge of his own mistakes. Please don’t lay the blame at your feet. You could have been the worst human being possible in life and the choices he makes are still his own. You did the best that you were capable of. After seeing many of your posts and replies, I can tell you are a good person, someone who cares and loves and takes the time to comfort other people in their time of need. I hope that you also see how much you’re worth, because it’s a lot. </p><p>You’re not alone on this journey.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="B’smom, post: 740062, member: 23359"] It’s not irrational at all. This is a parents worry in life, especially when our children have disabilities. These are things I often worry about B and he’s only 10 and I’m still in my early 30’s. I pray I have enough time on this earth to see him succeed in life. I worry that when my husband and I are gone, no one will be there to care for him, to advocate for him, to ensure his success. You are not alone on this earth with this fear. Human relationships and emotions are complex. It’s never usually just one thing that drives something. It’s a magnitude of things. Knowing something and emotionally feeling something are two different things. As a parent, you want to protect your children, you want to see them succeed. Both for their lives and your own. So that way when you leave this earth, you hope they’ll be safe and happy. Again, it’s not pathetic. It means you’re a loving and caring human being. I don’t think it’s your fault and neither should you. In the end, it’s HIS choice. Why is it that say a parent with addictions, can have one perfectly “normal” child. Or two normal, loving caring parents end up with their child in jail. Again, human beings are complex. It’s never one thing that causes it. You cannot take the blame for his choices. My son often says to me “you made me hit my brother”. I remind him, that hitting was HIS choice. I did not physically move his body, I cannot control his actions. His choice and his consequences. Nevermind the fact that hitting his brother because of me makes absolutely no sense. My father was abusive alcoholic growing up, I had many choices in my life to make. I could have chosen to become abusive, I could have chosen to become an addict to deal with the pain, I could have chosen to marry an abusive man. My choices, not my mothers’, not my fathers’. These were my choices to make and they’re choices that I continue to make on a daily basis. To rise above yesterday and be better. You are not God Copa and you are not your son. He is his own person and in charge of his own mistakes. Please don’t lay the blame at your feet. You could have been the worst human being possible in life and the choices he makes are still his own. You did the best that you were capable of. After seeing many of your posts and replies, I can tell you are a good person, someone who cares and loves and takes the time to comfort other people in their time of need. I hope that you also see how much you’re worth, because it’s a lot. You’re not alone on this journey. [/QUOTE]
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