I Need to Scream

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Jul 4, 2007.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'll warn you before you start to read..... this is a VENT! A major one.

    With clinicals finished I now have the chance to finally tackle my disgusting house. Disgusting is clearly the word for it. I'm not talking clutter and dust, I'm talking gross out I can't believe no one else could lift a finger to DO something mess.

    I'm not even trying to do the big cleaning just yet. My goal at the moment is to just get it cleaned up so I can do the big cleaning. :faint: Needless to say I've spent the past 2 days on a low boil and cussing under my breath.

    Then there is my mother. For those of you who have heard me talk of her before, go ahead and shudder now. Mom has it in her head to have a family reunion. Not bad, right? She's been at this since before Easter. I've been explaining for months that I couldn't make a trip while in school and husband without a real job. Last weekend she calls to tell me my aunt is on her deathbed. My aunt is dying of cancer, this is not news. According to Mom she's been on her deathbed since before April. Mom started hounding me to come home again. By July 6th all of the other 4 kids will be home. She wants a reunion. I tried to explain that while I'd love to come we just can't afford it. husband can't miss work. easy child can't bring me cuz she has to work. She knows I won't drive it. Plus I'm now looking for a job. On top of this Nichole is in school and I have 3 dogs and 2 cats I just can't leave here to fend for themselves. Nor can I afford to board them.

    My Mom has never been one to take no for an answer. Right after I spent 2 hrs explaining all of that to her my dying aunt calls and begs me to come home. Let me tell you, it's hard to talk loving to one person while you want to murder another. My Mom put her up to the phone call just to guilt me into coming home so she can have her reunion. I explained the same thing to my aunt that I tried to my mother. Next thing I know my Mom has my neice talking to Travis online trying to work that angle. Travis isn't stupid. He told them he was staying out of it.

    Then the dirtiest low down stunt. She has my cousin email me pics of my aunt, saying how they want me to come home.

    That was the last straw. Up til that point I'd been trying to figure out a way to get home. Now there is no way I'm going. I love my aunt. But honestly I don't want to see her the way she is now. I'd like to remember the vibrant woman who taught me much about life. (those emailed pics made that clear)

    After all these years Mom just can't seem to get it thru her head that these sorts of stunts don't work with me. She could care less if I see my aunt before she passes. My Mom can barely tolerate being around her sister. She only started that whole mess as a means of guilt. As far as my sibs and Mom goes.... Honestly, I can take or leave them. My grandmother raised me. I never developed a close relationship with any of them. I attempt to keep family ties mostly for my kids.

    Then I have Nichole yo yoing all over the freaking place. I knew today was going to be trouble.

    All the kids went to sister in law's Mom's for the 4th. Travis came home and told me that Nichole and boyfriend were at it. Not much of a surprise as Nichole finally admitted she hasn't been taking the abilify. Actually, she's been missing doses often. (explains her current state) But the abilify she misplaced and instead of asking me to help her find it, she just didn't take it. grrrrrr (I found it by the way)

    So Nichole and boyfriend are in high drama when they arrive. I go out and get the baby and put her to bed. Then do my best to ignore the kids who were arguing in the alley. Finally boyfriend leaves after they "break up". Nichole comes in and takes her medications in front of me. She goes into her room. Then comes out and asks if I'll take her to boyfriend's. (it's almost midnight) I said nope. They both needed to cool off. She decided to go anyway. Ok. You're 18, but you can walk there.

    I get a call about a half hour later with a contrite Nichole asking to be picked up. Turns out she and boyfriend made up. Big surprise. :rolleyes:

    And while I'm venting......

    We went to Nichole's best friends baby's funeral monday. I hope to God I never have to do something like that again. Funerals are bad enough, but one for an infant will tear at your soul.

    It was open casket. And although the tiny 26 wk term infant was made to look as well as possible, I just couldn't shake a feeling of wrongness of having an open casket. The parents, both the age of Nichole, were emotional wrecks. And someone had to keep an eye on the mother to prevent her from removing the baby to hold him. I was thankful the graveside ceremony was abruptly short. I don't think the parents could endure anymore.

    If you made it all the way thru then you deserve a medal. It's just been one h ell of a week and I really needed to unload.

    The only bright spot to the week was that the pup Nichole had brought home (cuz she wanted a baby) and the lil dog who found us I managed to place in very nice homes somehow during all this chaos.

    /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/hot.gif :crazy2:
     
  2. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I made it through your post and no wonder your are cranky and exhausted, Lisa :faint: .

    Do what's best for you and your family.

    Hugs,
    Suz
     
  3. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I made it through also, and I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. I'm glad you have us to vent too. Try and do something nice for yourself. Let others think what they want to and you do what you need to do. If others don't understand your choices, that is there problem.

    Hope things get better soon.
     
  4. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    When it rains, it pours.

    Good for you for putting the kabash on your mother's BS. A guilt trip is the last thing you need right now.

    Take care of you. Hugs and prayers.
     
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Whew/Phew! You are having a heck of a time, aren't you? I'm sorry that it all bundled up and hit you at once. Hugs. DDD
     
  6. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    Whew!

    I'd be :grrr: too if I were you. I hate having a messy house, but I've been having health issues. Ya think it would occur to my difficult children to maybe, just MAYBE, pitch in without being nagged at?Heck no!

    People like your Mom sorta fascinate me. I'm very sensitive to manipulation and guilting. Like you, it only makes me dig my heels in more in opposition to what they want. Perhaps she would like to PAY your way there and pay to board your animals?? :wink:

    Then, everything else. I hope you get a break soon!
     
  7. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    ok here is what you have to do:

    contact a network show and sell your story to the soaps. it is much more horrendous than anything on TV presently. talk about reality shows???? give them something to talk about!

    seriously, hon, life is not a bowl of cherries for you lately and you deserve better. do what pleases YOU for a change and stick to it.
     
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> contact a network show and sell your story to the soaps.</div></div>

    :rofl: easy child already has suggested that I write a series of books. Truth is stranger than fiction afterall. :wink:

    I can't believe anyone made it to the end of that rant. I just needed to unload and here is the safest place for me to do it.

    (((((hugs))))))
     
  9. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    I read every word with wonderment and awe..lol
     
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